WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, August 3, 2009

A Major Communication fallout...

Well I didn't mention Saturday that Nurse Eileen came into my room to help assist for a little bit and I mostly gave a her a dirty look. I had no idea why she was still in my room. I told her I didn't want her in my room any more and had even called the head nurse on Thursday just to make sure I didn't get her again. Anyway as I was talking to her, she pretty much ignored what ever I had to say and interrupted me to talk to the other nurse as if I was just an animal making noises in my bed. How rude? . She pretended that nothing had ever happened and acted like she did not hear me talking at all "I guess dumb patients just grunt and moan to her" since that's all she understands of them. I'm glad I didn't see her the rest of the day because it would have pissed me off further.

Sunday was a pretty good day; I was lonesome for part of the day and got to catch up on some sleep and some blogging on one of my other blogs; actually it's Blue Belle's blog. I had started this blog last year sometime in order to have a blog on all the fun things that we do with Blue Belle. I hope to continue this blog and perhaps this one I can try to be more consistent about updating.

I know it's quite insane and kooky at the same time, but Miss Belle will be blogging in the 1st on what its' like to be a Service/ Therapy Dog. I plan to write about all of our adventures and hopefully can get an affiliate membership with ActiveDogs.com. It sure would suck to advertise all of these great (expensive) vests and patches and then not even get a dime profit for doing so and even no discounts since I do purchase from them quite often. I'm blogging /working and sending customers her way and then nothing back in return; even down to paying full price for Blue Belle's own vests and patches seems very unfair. What comes around should go around and I pray they do the right thing. I don't expect much just a little for advertising and writing up blog articles on her vests. I plan to call tomorrow to find out more or if this will even be allowed.

Most of the blog will entail everything needed to train and to get a service dog ready for patients who need them. Blue Belle's experience in how she acts around patients and teaching her the command "No kisses" or "off" so that she doesn't smother or bother a patient. Some patients want kisses and others do not. So much to do and I sure do have the time here in the hospital to do that.

OK enough about the silly blog, I wasn't able to squeeze out any farts and none of the doctors would approve me having a suppository in order to help assist in that process. I would like to thank all of you for your lovely advice, prayers hot air warm thoughts!) on desperately trying so hard to get me pass some wind. That means so much to me! Thank you all from the bottom of my heat! All that love is priceless and no amount of money would ever be worth that!

I didn't sleep at all yesterday or Saturday night because I was suffering from extreme insomnia. The sleeping pills I had been taking for several nights in a row were not at all working; so last night we were on it. At midnight I took some Benedryl and was promised an Ativan in half and hour (12:30am), well that half hour turned into 2 and half hours; I kept buzzing the nurse and getting frustrated with her every half hour; she was busy with another patient and forgot that she should have delegated some of her tasks to some other nurses who looked like they were bored when I walked around earlier. This nurse is such a hard worker but she has no clue how to work with her team and have them help her; delegating work with her. I really needed some sleep and I lost out because of this and her desire to try to do everything.

She had finally come into my room just after 2:30am and I was sitting in my room reading a Michael Jackson article in Rolling Stone magazine. I had the TV off just trying everything possible to get me to sleep. I asked her if they could please hold off as long as possible for drawing my blood since she so terribly late with my medication; more like 7am so that I could sleep. She told me that she had a strict schedule and would try to hold of until 5:30am; I was quite bummed so I said OK. I was able to fall asleep shortly after 3am and then I was awaken shortly before 5am (around 4:55am) for a blood draw and vitals; that was it; I couldn't sleep at all after that so I got up and walked some more laps in the hallway in hopes that I might become so exhausted that maybe I could just come into my room and pass out and fall sound asleep.

I was up and awake so I decided I might as well work on some emails, do some banners for Blue Belle's blog, listen to an audio book, and even walked 10 laps in hopes that I could fall asleep. I was so incredibly grumpy and grouchy. I was finally given another Ativan in hopes that it would work to put me back to sleep for just a few hours and it did work. I feel asleep shortly after 7am.

At around 10am, my doctor came in to my room to check on me. I won't be going home today; maybe in a couple of days; I'm so bummed this visit has grown to be so long. He recommended a suppository and I was elated "Finally"! Finally! These things usually work for me and it did. I was able to fart up a storm; well not a whole lot but I also got to go #2 as well! I was so happy; the pressure on my tummy also subsided so hopefully I am getting better. I have already walked 20 laps around my hospital floor which also seems to be helping especially after taking the suppository.

I almost forgot to mention that my husband wasn't able to visit me yesterday and I was pretty bummed and depressed (I even tried to cry myself to sleep) but it was his short weekend and I am glad that he is able to go out and have some fun; one of us should be able to be out enjoying life and he sure deserves to like no other. He doesn't have to come to this dump (OK it is a state of the art Hospital) every single day. It does suck for me to miss a day of seeing him. I'm such a baby sometimes but I can't help it; I'm in love.

So here are the instructions in troubleshooting our problem of "MY FRIEND CAN'T HEAR ME TALKING; HOW DO I CHECK IF MY MICROPHONE IS WORKING?"

We both installed Skype on both computers at the same time so that we talk to each other and I could finally get to see Tonto who I miss so much. He installed the software on the iMac and me on MacBook Pro. We just kind of just walked each other through the whole process of installing, but it does seem kind of like janky software in that only 1 person could be heard. At first I was the one that was able to hear everything. It was awesome!

So in that paragraph of instructions do you happen to see "Sound Settings" here? I looked everywhere so these instructions are bunk.

"When you are in a call, find the little down arrow beside the call time near the bottom of the call window. Choose Sound Settings..."

We have yet been able to figure out why that is so but we could only talk to each other with our cell phones and we got the very worst back-up noises ever. It kind of squeaked and hurt our ears. I so wanted him to be able to hear me or to go over there and fix it for him; I just knew he had something wrong over there. (I'm a little more technical than he is)

My honey tried to pick up Tonto as he was talking to me on his cell phone and the back-up noise scared the living the living shit out of Tonto. He could hear me but he also heard that horrible eeeekkkeeek noise and he struggled to get free. It looked like he thought that he would going to be shoved inside that computer with me. I got to see the most hilarious facial expressions on that cat and as it was priceless! He scurried out of there! I laughed so hard that I had to grab my Teddy Bear in order to hold my tummy together. He just looked into the direction of the camera like "Why is my mom in there? What the hell did you do with her? Why is she in there and don't you throw me in there too!" It was so funny; his looks were amazingly funny! I wish I would have thought to take a photo of his snobbish face. It was totally priceless!

I want to go home so bad.I have been getting incredibly homesick these last couple of days. I'm also still in a great deal of pain and can feel the pressure of the stitching inside my stomach. I didn't think it would be this painful for so so long. I can't wait until I am pain free; I hope this happens one day. I can handle pain with out meds when the level hits a 6; but beond that; I'm not the bionic woman.

Well the same nurse (Nurse Eileen) returned to my room this morning to help out and I stopped her. I asked her kindly "you know I don't want you to be my nurse anymore; you stressed me out far too much on Thursday and I don't need that kind of drama or a nurse that pure out lies to cover her ass". She interrupted me to tell me she never called security, but I later found out she was the one who did.

I plan to call Patient services to just let them know that I am not at all comfortable with this nurse and to please keep her away from me. I'm not a fan of dishonesty at all and she put me through quite a bit of stress in order to cover her ass. She should have told me that I should be back at a certain time and she should have listened to her patient. Had she only listened to me instead of interrupting so rudely, things would have been much more different. How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to ask a doctor first if I could leave the floor? I was never told this. I was told by my doctor that I needed to walk; he never specified where.

We did tell her that we were going to the Farmer's Market (twice). Anyway, I survived that stress and that horrible anxiety attack and don't wish to have any more of those. I still don't feel that nurse is dealing with a full deck; I just don't trust her. I don't wish to see her again. I probably should give her another chance but I'm not ready to yet. Yes, I do give people second chances but it takes me some time to get over certain things. I'm quick to forgive but I don't ever forget.

Well this evening around 5:30pm in walks my very handsome husband with this beautiful little girl by his side. She was so happy to see me. He was very tired when he arrived and of course so was I. I could use a nap being that I didn't get much sleep last night or this morning. I think I got a grand total of 4 hours. I scooched over to the very edge and we cuddled for about 1/2 an hour until the phone rang and woke me up and then the nurses needed to take my vitals; my nap was officially over; I was full on awake. It takes nothing to wake me up.

So I got up grabbed my brush (yes I used my brush to brush my sweet Blue Belle), some extra wash clothes and that waterless shampoo. My poor pup was a dirty, dirty, dirty girl. Just look at how beautiful she looks now. I made sure I worked everything in and even rubbed that stuff out. It seemed like it got a lot of dirt out of her coat. It was so amazing. Once I get out of the hospital, I will be giving her a real bath in the bath tub. Yes, that's another amazing thing my honey did for me was fix the shower. We now have a shower head that is moveable? I don't know the terminology of that stuff but it can be detached and you can use it to wash the pets in the bathtub. It works like a gem and it will save us quite a bit from having to to the Pet Wash. ($15 per bath).

Well tonight around 11:30Pm my honey and I finally finished fixing Skype together and we both were successful up and on the screens looking and talking with each other. How confusing for the animals but they were starring right into the camera each time and it was so cute. We have a bunch of Tonto until he had enough. It might have been too weird for him. My honey and I could not resist kissing the screen over and over and over again and then just staring at each other. We fixed it! Now we can talk on Skye and now know what the hell we are doing. It was so fun and exciting. It may be an old technology that has been around but my husband and I plan to use it tomorrow morning so that I can be around to help him make his own breakfast. We will see. I may get to go home on Wednesday and we are now practicing with the TPN machine; the one that I will be going home with will be hooked up tomorrow evening and I will get 4 hours of IV freedom which I am very excited about. That means I get to go on walk with out an IV and I get to wear my T-Shirts with out those huge gowns made for some 500lbsp or more. I noticed when I was walking past this glass window and having to push the IV pole the super big sleeves exposed my tiny little pathetic breaths and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. If I had a T-shirt on, then I would have on at least so that my boobs won't have to be exposed anymore. How disgusting and anyone dare tell me this? Absolutely not. Oh well things are getting better for me and I wait to go home!


WhiteStone said...

I am In Love with Blue Belle! Oh, my, she brings back such sweet memories of our Misty. Did you know Shelties have the 2nd highest IQ in the dog world? I like Tonto, too, but Blue is the best! Sooooo glad to hear you are having success in the world of farts! Went to Blue's blog but couldn't figure out how to follow...perhaps it is too early in the morning and I am still having brain farts from the chemo four weeks ago. (Could have shared a couple of them with you...you might have been home by now.) Blessings to ya.

TC said...

I followed Blue Belles blog by hitting follow @ the top?
Quite a few of my relatives are nurses but I've had plenty that are like your nurse from hades. Stick to your guns, there is no excuse for being treated badly @ the prices hospitals charge!!
Glad you got a little relief. Hope it goes better the next few days.
Skype and the animals are just too fun, I can see them doing that and puzzling over why the computer ate mommy!

nat said...

Yippee!! You farted!!! :) I am so glad that the intestines are working. Can you actually eat yet?

Glad you got Skype to work. Hope you get to go home really soon...

Deb said...

Hi Jayne,
We are back from Sonoma! Loved the skype story with Tonto and Blue Belle...too cute and I'm so glad that you farted! Woo-hoo! Still can't believe that nurse is still hanging around. She's an idiot! I hope I don't run in her the next time I'm there for a visit...Let me know if you need me to bring you anything.....

Daria said...

Wow is all I can say.

Thank goodness for technology.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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