WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Shipping a Truck...How Hard is it?

My brothers used to be a mobile pet groomer up until a couple of weeks ago. How he loved his job and his clients loved him too. He was so amazingly good at what he did and so caring too! It was the perfect job for an animal lover and he was his own boss. I was so proud of him and yes I still am even though his Grooming Van with all of his business was stolen in a Bi-lo Parking lot. It's amazing how fast your life can changes with the snap of finger. He didn't have the money to start all over and he didn't even have a back-up vehicle. Our family reacted as fast as we could to this situation. He needed a vehicle; I had one, my father wired me the money to pay for shipping.

We arranged for this to happen by dropping off the truck with the shipping company. I used the company dasautoshippers.com which is commonly used by eBay autos. They are not a broker, but instead a direct shipper and they use trucks instead of trains to ship the vehicles.

I dropped off my little truck on Saturday, March 1st. Well it is now March 20th and the truck has yet to arrive. It is stuck in Morrow GA indefinately or at least it was this morning when I called. Then my brother called later and they said the truck was just transferred to another shipment and should be in Simpsonville tonight.

It was originally due to arrive in Simpsonville, SC on Saturday, March 15th and it was cool to be able to track the truck using a tracking number on their website in order to see where the truck was in real time. I would type it in at any moment through out the day and see how far the shipment had gone. Very, very cool! Then a huge storm of tornatoes and severe weather hit Atlanta on Saturday, March 15th (the date of arrival) and since then that's why his truck is stuck in Morrow, GA. The truck shipping my truck had a GPS positioning devise which enabled you to know exactly where your vehicle is during the entire shipping process. Pretty cool but not when your shipment gets delayed. Then you have to call the number to actually find out where your shipment is.

Well on Good Friday, March 21st, my brother finally received the Power Ranger or so she earned that name after many blizzards and near collisions that were avoided from horrible drivers. Yes, I call the truck a she or refer to her as a she. He is so incredibly happy to have some nice wheels and now he can finally take girls out in it instead of the wet dog smelling Grooming Van.


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

God forbid this love!

Well today the Supreme court is meeting for 3 hours to discuss the legality of some marriages performed a few years ago. It does make sense that these people deserve the same rights as you and I. They deserve to be with the person that they are in love with, the same benefits (health, death, etc), perhaps a Same Sex Union would guarantee these rights; it wouldn't be the same as marriage, but at least it would be the same rights. It's called a compromise. It won't be technically called marriage, but it will be marriage for them. Just it call it something different "Same Sex Union" or what ever, just not the word marriage since so many people have a problem with it. It's just not fair period., to deny 2 "Americans", "citizens" or what ever they happen to be the right to be together in a sacred union together; a right to be together forever.

I live near San Francisco and the whole gay marriage thing is really driving a lot of really hateful people to the edge primarily in the rest of the country. I am seeing a really evil side to many Evangelical Christians or Conservative for that matter, perhaps its the press that at least makes it seem that way.

These types of arguments have made me question the bible to some extent. I just can't fathom hatred or trying to run someone else's life, to force your beliefs onto others. We all have a mind of our own. We live in a free country that is supposed to have "Separation of Church and State". What part of that do these people not understand? Our forefathers faught in the Revolutionary War in order to be free of Britain, to found a country that guarantees us "Freedom of Religion". That we can be free to worship if we wish to.

Is it really anyone's business who gets to marry who! You see, I have a Native American Heritage which I am very proud of and I think that's why I am so at peace with others (except for the hateful busy body people, I usually avoid confrontations which those types). I refuse to butt in and tell people who they can and can't love. I am in no place to tell anyone that they are being sinful when I myself commit sins everyday. Hell, we all do! "He who has not sinned, cast the first stone!" I hope that means something to everyone. Jesus loves everyone? That is what I have been told my whole life and now it seems that this isn't true anymore.

I know that homosexuality happens in nature because I used to work in a zoo in the deep south this is where I very first had contact with homosexuality. I was only 14 years old coming to work with my mom and I still got paid to work, just under the table. I maybe made $200 for the entire summer. It was hard work. We had these two male baboons that were so in love with each other. Yeah they even made the most obnoxious noises when they had sex and it was hilarious. My mom and I would giggle every time the two went at it. One time a kindergarten class had come to the zoo to visit and they walked by the Baboon exhibit while the baboons were going at it. One little boy asked his teacher, "what are they doing?" The teacher replied, "they are playing leap frog", a little girl butted in and said "how come they can't jump to the other side" they aren't playing it right". I laughed as the teacher turned red and hurried them past the exhibit.

A new zoo manager had once tried to separate the baboons and had placed them with female baboons that were ready to be bred. Despite the females being in heat, the males stopped eating and wouldn't mate with the females. We eventually had to separate them from the females as they would attack them when the females wanted to often mate. It was just proof that this happens in nature. I don't know, I just experienced it first hand, no one had to tell me. Another small example that I remember was these two female Siberian Tigers. The two tigers seemed to be in love with each other and would mate. One female was like a male, more muscular and large in size and the other more like a female. It was always the larger female that would mount the slighter smaller tiger. It was odd, but further proof of homosexuality in another species. Back then, I didn't know much about it in humans as I do now. Because I saw this, I never once passed judgment on gay people.

I remember I worked with this one really nice gay man at this department store as a teenager. He dressed funny, but was overall a wonderful person to be around. He was like one of the girls. A few of the stock men would heckle him as walked to the back break room and he could come back with the most piercing sayings that would have you in stitches. In fact many other gay men and females as well that I have met have been very caring, compassionate, and even had the best sense of humor.

To me passing judgment on someone that you have never met or gotten know if wrong. Everyone needs a chance to prove themselves no matter what. I have met many gay people who happen to be warm hearted, loving people. I am very loving person and I love everyone I come to contact with who has a heart of gold; to me that is a rich person, not someone with lots of money, it's the person in the room with the biggest heart and many gay people I have met, are big hearted people. Some are not, but some are.

I am very spiritual, but I just don't feel at peace in a church. It seems like a place to judge others and to me that just isn't the right way to be. How can you judge someone you don't know or just know of what others have said about them without actually meeting the person yourself. Sure it helps many people, but for a majority that I see, it just gives them the free pass to treat others horribly; such as lying, cheating, and even taking lives, confess their sins, and then it's OK to commit those sins over and over as long as you confess them? They can lie, cheat, steal, all over again? I just don't buy it. Yes, I have met some gay people I didn't like, but I never judge anyone unless I see that person commit an act of brutality towards another person or an animal. Actions speak louder than words.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Be Happy for What you Have...

So many people get bummed about the smallest things. They fret about the reactions of others, being lonely, late on bills, being broke before payday arrives, and so much more. Each day should be treasured and reflected upon another day of having your health and for having the freedom to drive around or even walk around.

I used to be bummed out over the little things in life and now more than ever, I am happy when I have a day where I can sit at a stop light (even the longest ones) or even the worst of traffic rather than being hooked to an IV pole in a hospital not knowing if I will ever be out of that hospital alive. So many people out there have it worse off than you do and they can still smile and be happy for what they do have. I once knew of this courageous woman a few years ago in my Cancer support group who for some unknown reason could laugh at things around her; she had the most uplifting voice and such a beaming personality and yet she had a colostomy bag and ileostomy bag for her urine. She would laugh about the whole process of having to clean the bag or being out in public when it would overfill and not be able to find a bathroom to change it. Imagine if those were your worries? She would have the whole room in tears but from laughter telling of her hillarius experiences. Sometimes it would overflow onto her garments, but she would never stress out about it. To her, it was just another experience in life to be thankful for. She had her grandkids and her children whom she was so thankful to be able to experience just being around. They made her smile everyday that she was alive. She lived another 5 more months, but those extra few months meant so much to her. Her husband told all of us that she was smiling when she passed.You may have financial worries, maybe a few health worries, social worries, stints of bad luck or so on, but these things always have a way of turning around; think of those experiences as tests that are put out there to make you stronger.

Do look ever look around you? Maybe you don't see much, but it is wealth to someone else who doesn’t have it. Hell, I am just happy when I have a day that I can drive, walk outside, and enjoy good Indian food, Thai food, sushi or what ever, even going to the bathroom normally. Those to me are blessings. Everyday is a good day especially when I can wake up next to the one I love; the true blessing in my life! Yes, I am married and happily at that. I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him and the support he gives me and the support we give each other. I wouldn’t be around here to make others happy or to bring some sunshine in the world that really needs it. That’s how I look at it.

My husband and I are best friends and we put each other #1. If you still haven't found love or perhaps you have, just don’t go looking for her/him, she/he will find you. If you sign up for dating services online, just let it be. Your main purpose is to focus on the moment. How can I make this moment more enjoyable for me or the person next to me? When I found my love, I was doing something that I love when I first met my husband to be. I was having fun dancing in a night club and that may seem like the most unlikely place to find someone, but connection doesn’t discriminate. You can meet that connection anywhere where least expect it. You will know when you do!


The Importance of Health Insurance...

I am so thankful to work for such an awesome company that has given me a chance, supports me, and most of all; provides me with such wonderful Health Insurance. What a blessing! I am also so incredibly thankful to be alive today. Tears well up in my eyes when I say that, because I really, really, really do mean it! My day job has been absolutely wonderful to me and believe it or not, it is a Pharmaceutical Company that I happen to work for which I would rather keep private, so please don't ask me where I work. All I have to say about this company is that it has been incredibly supportive to me; with wonderful huge hearted people that I happen to work with! God how I love them all!

I actually got my job just 2 months before I was first diagnosed with Stage III Ovarian cancer. I did NOT have health insurance prior to getting hired on permanently. I wasn't married just yet and my husband to be was well covered by the company he was with and is still employed with today that also provides us both with health insurance. We don't have to pay a dime for any of my treatments or hospital stays, just the $50 deductable for ambulance rides which is way better than what it could be! Could you imagine if I had been diagnosed before I got my job and even before we got married? We would be head over heals in debt or quite possibly, I wouldn't be alive. If my condition was considered Pre-existing, I might be dead and would certainly not be enjoying this wonderful life I have. There is no way we could afford to pay for all of that and the hospital might have refused to treat me. But instead, I got hired on permanently and what a blessing that was and still is!

I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am to be alive today and that my Health Care is covered! It really is a blessingand I will NEVER EVER take that for granted. I know that there are so many Americans out there that don't have that luxury of having good health insurance. I watched Michael Moore's movie "Sicko" several months ago, and it really affected me. I have heard that he tends to pick and choose what he adds to his films, but he basically focused in on the worst cases and rightly so. That film seriously tugged at my heart. I still can't help but think about how many lives have been lost each year due to the insurance industry; due to them actually writing their patients and saying "We can't cover you or pay for that treatment." They actually put a price tag on someone's life and I have ALWAYS felt and believed that this was the wrong thing to do. In other words they are writing these people that they have agreed to cover and telling them that they don't think or feel that their lives are worth paying for. How morbid is that?

When I was very young, my mother always told me that money is the root of all evil and I believe it now. That's exactly what this industry is about! They do just that. It broke my heart and still does when I think of the woman who lost her husband to a treatable cancer, another one lost her child, because each of their insurance company's had refused to pay for life saving medicines/surgeries. The patient ended up dying because the insurance company refused to pay. The doctor is then left helpless. Now I would rather my tax dollars go to this doctor who makes the decision to save the life anyway. If only our gov't would do such a thing. I know there are countless others who have lost their lives because of the insurance industry. We really need Universal Health Care much more than this worthless war. It is costing us dearly everyday we are there in Iraqu (the wrong country that attacked us in the first place) and this money could be much better used to save lives instead of end them.


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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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