WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Abdominal Blockages & severe heartburn....

Well it's finally started; I am starting to get the pains of more bowel blockages and small relief of just being able to fart; sometimes I have to strain in order to do so. It's so not pleasant or ladylike but it is painful if I can't. I am also forcing myself to eat daily because of the nausea and the severe heartburn; I can't even stomach all that much and when I do eat any significant amount it feels as if my stomach is going to burst; very painful and uncomfortable. I'm also burping louder than ever; louder than I have ever been able to and I don't know any relatives who could beat these loud ass burps. They are horrible but they do offer me relief when I do so!) My honey gets so worried when he hears them at all hours of the night sometimes; it just happens most of the time now. I even get god awful hiccups when I go poo?

Right now I am trying to not use anything for pain even though the pain is unbearable at times; I need to wean myself off of painkillers and just get used to what my body is doing and feeling. Sometimes I can't take it and have to pop a Percocet; these have been the best at helping me deal with severe pain; but now I am starting to get blocks. It started on Monday and I actually had to pull out the dreaded painful suppositories. It's working and I am getting some relief but I have to get more Miralax and see if that works; I just worry that I will be pooping 24 x 7 if I do that. I never thought I would have to deal with this and it seems that the only way that I can go number 2 is with my Sitz Bath; oh it definitely brings me some relief to a sore butthole!)

Yes, these are those spasms that I get at least once a day while trying to relieve myself and these days relieving can mean so many different things!) As it is now, when I am able to go poo, the spasms are painful and I am even forced to puke. This has been pretty irritating; to be straining as an involuntary muscle and then feeling it push stuff up my esophagus. It's the weirdest thing, but it definitely sucks!(

Yesterday I forced myself to eat some berries (blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries), granola, and Vanilla Brown Cow whole Milk with the cream on Top" yogurt. It was pretty good!) It helped some and I will continue this until I start feeling like I will puke if I am around it much longer. I do like it when I find something that works; even if its just for a little while. I seem to always eventually become sick of something if I eat it too many days in a row or weeks and months as it is has been smoothies and Ensures. I also tried so hard to eat the rest of day doing the tiny meals but I got sick the entire day not being able to stomach all that much. This morning I was puking and pooing at the same time. How pleasant to wake up to that!(

I sure hope I am feeling better by next week. Oh god please don't make me feel anything like this! This is ridiculous that its taking me this long to heal! It's been very frustrating and I really need to start back to work in less than 2 weeks. I'm not even gaining any weight; just staying at 110-113. I am riding my bike daily and I hope to go swimming today. Maybe some aqua-therapy can do me some good! We will see.

Since I've been in so much pain, I have to admit to lying on the couch watching mostly Warren Miller Films and just recently a special on Shaun White which was really amazing. I was practically salivating as I watched he and his friends blast down a mountain hitting tree tops and catching air.

Oh how I wished I was in that great of shape and to be doing just that. That adrenaline rush must feel amazing; I do know that it is a amazing just to watch! I just sat there on the couch reminiscing about how wonderful the powder feels under my feet as I am blasting down a mountain myself. That is the feeling of heaven and I hope to feel that again this season!) Amanda was just telling me that this year we will be getting lots and lots of rain. Now that made me very, very, very, very happy; she always feels that she is going to melt when it rains and I am in heaven when I feel the rain on my head! I just love it!) That's just our differences; I'm absolutely done with this dreaded heat we have been having; it was 99 yesterday. Now that makes me feel like I am melting!

Can you believe that it rained on Saturday at the "Relay for Life"? I may have mentioned it but it did! Oh how that felt good! It was so amazing and I was just dreading the heat when the clouds started to form and then all of a sudden it was raining!) It was absolutely wonderful.

UPDATE: I was able to take Amanda's bike to get a new tire and even got her a new bell. I'm sorry I don't have any cool photos but I did get to go on a short bike ride today with Miss Blue Belle over to that church we often go to play frisbee. We didn't get to play frisbee for long because the church overwatered the field again and turned it into a muddy swamp. Blue Belle was pretty bummed that I didn't wish to play in the muddy field. I kind of suspect someone is doing this to keep dogs off the lawn. Why not just put up a sign?

I was able to eat some granola, berries, and yogurt for breakfast and then I had a Jamba Juice later on with extra protein which more than lasted me all day long (I drank almost half). I kept burping through out the day (OMG - I can actually say things while I burp - next time I will try counting and tell you how high I was able to go!) and it was the worst tasting burps ever (ewww they were probably stinky burps too!(.

I am definitely having some digestion issues from all of that and I will be calling the doctor tomorrow morning. There has to be some sort of a block in my intestines or a kink; because it's very painful on one side of my abdomen. I have been having problems not being able to fart much today but I did ignite a nasty one inside the bicycle shop as this young man was walking by me. I was just standing there debating whether I should be nice and not ignite or just be a stinky Bitch! OK Stinky Bitch it is; because dam it; I've been through too dam much to hold that shit in!; he'll just have to get over it! Shit, it always seems to happen that way!( Oh well; at least I'm laughing about it now!)

I am bummed that I had to take 2 whole Percocets for pain today; one for this morning and one just now. I hope it takes effect soon (yes, I'm in pain as I'm writing but it's only on that 1 side of my abdomen that I'm getting checked out tomorrow). I just emailed my doctor the problems I have been having so maybe I can be seen tomorrow? I know to expect a phone call from him tomorrow; they always seem to answer more quickly online. It's pretty awesome!

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Anonymous said...

My dear dear Charlotte. I am praying for your recovery from all the dreadfulness. I thank every day God I am healthy ( except for diabetes and HBP ) but healthy enough. I hope all is well. I love you girl. You are a survivoer. jen

l'optimiste said...

dreadfulness. what an excellent word to describe what you are going through right now.

You know I'm not a praying person, but I keep you in my thoughts constantly. I hope that the bit of positive energy I can send you helps. Even if it's to just stop one hiccuping attack!

Today I saw you called Char Char...and I loved it for you. :o) Really cute. You always look cute in your photos [even the ones with the dreaded PB!]. So, Char Char, be well.

And keep in touch!!

Daria said...

I feel for you girl ... hope it all gets better soon.

CharlieZ916 said...

Jayne, I hope the pain subsides soon..I am thinking of you...C

TC said...

I am so sorry you are having so much pain and so many problems, glad to hear you got out a bit though and found a little you could eat. I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

Zaid Shakil said...

Hope you'll get well soon...

Ambrosia said...

I am sorry to hear that you are still in pain and having so much trouble.

I'm glad you're able to eat something, however small the portion...I hope, also, that you are feeling better very soon!

Hopefully, the doctor will be able to do something that helps.

Shopping Kharma said...

I hope to have my laptop with me tomorrow. I had to go to ER yesterday/last night for a bowel blockage & will be in the hospital for a few days.

Kia Taylor said...

Praying for you always...

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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