WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Nephostomy Surgery?

That might not be the right name for this particular surgery but that's kind of what I think it is. I'm really stoked that someone from Interventional Radiology finally called me to schedule getting rid of this dam piss bag! OK maybe it looks more like a fashion accessory here, but it definitely doesn't feel like one when I have to both stand up to pee and sit down (you know I forget about that sometimes!) It did take a while to get used to(still not totally used to it); I would sit down to pee and then completely forget that I needed to also empty the dam piss bag. So maybe I'm not completely standing up; I am kneeling a little over the toilet in emptying it; but it's so not fun!

Haulley luya! Is that how you spell it? The phone call I have been waiting for for weeks!) My doctor told me this would happen one day and Finally!) I'm so glad! I just pray that it helps and that they are able to internalize this whole thing!

When I had spoken with my doctor earlier this week; he had told me that someone would be calling from Interventional Radiology to schedule getting that dam bag off me! He also told me a few weeks ago too. The way that my doctor describes it is " internalizing it? (my nephostomy bag) which actually means inserting a stent between my Kidney and my Bladder. Now the little tube that goes from my Right Kidney to my bladder is called the Ureter. (this is what is damaged and why I need a nephostomy bag or a stint)

The scheduler on the phone was very nice; she then asked me about what date and time would work best for me. Well for me ASAP works great for me!) So she scheduled me for 9am on Monday, May 18th. I would need to be there at 8am (I'm guessing so that I can drink some yucky shit first?) and that I would need someone to pick me up at around 2pm. I would be heavily drugged up (fun!). So no eating after midnight (this Sunday) and no taking anything for pain after 5am. Easy enough! Wow! I hope this works!

Here is what my doctor told me which is kind of discouraging, but I am hoping and praying that this is not the case. Now during that big huge surgery, my ureter on my right may have accidentally gotten sewn somewhere during the surgery (I think he said the abdominal wall), now it could be the Cancer itself, or scar tissue which would be the 3 main things for failure in this surgery on Monday to internalize this stupid piss bag; either way my poor right kidney is blocked. I pray for success in this surgery. Positive thoughts; life goes on and no needs for stress; just hope. I know there are lots of people in this world that love me and are praying for me no matter what and this gets me by; just know this.

Check out my weight. Here I am with Wet Hair and all, clothing, boots and only 118? At least I am over the 115 mark. It's just been very difficult to gain the weight and trying to avoid the foods that I love but that often cause my intestines problems. For now it must be smoothies, soups, maybe toast, and I'm so sick of Cherios, bananas, and soymilk. Since I have to be enjoying a meal twice a day with my antibiotic; it's almost impossible but I do each time without the aid of my trusty plant. I know for a fact that I could not even come close to stomaching it with out it. Don't get me wrong; I have tried to stomach with out anything and it just doesn't work yet; projectile started and that is not what I like to have happen. I so hate puking!

Last night I tried to watch the Farrah Faucet special and just couldn't stomach it. On top of being incredibly depressing; it seemed that she would rather die than loose her hair which for me was very hard to even comprehend. There are plenty of excellent wigs that look the same as her hair. What the hell? That's exactly how I looked at it. What if there was a treatment effective for her cancer but unfortunately she would have to sacrifice her locks? Maybe she is ready to go at least that's what I thought of what I saw of her special; it's very sad if she is; she offers so much wisdom to the world. I couldn't watch it; it's very sad that she is going through the hells of cancer and I really wish her the best but so many of us have battled on anyway despite. I lost my hair and am more than likely going to loose it again; but the most important thing I have going is my life and for that; it is totally worth every bit of it; I'd do it again and again!

As for the bladder infection; that has gotten significantly bit better (I can now pee a lot more and with out the pain = no more squealing and jumping off the toilet in pain); but I am bored with eating (not enough choices) and trying to get my appetite; it could be the antibiotics that is making me so nauseous. Well I thought I would try these healthy Whey smoothies that my friend at Whole Foods had given me some free samples of.

Yesterday morning, I had half of and 8oz smoothie (4oz) this with my morning Antibiotic (must have with food) and it had a really strange taste to it; kinda tasted like gross baby food. It was hard to stomach so I needed some cannabis to get it down. I would have definitely puked had I not done that. I covered up my little smoothie and put it in the freezer.

Later on, I went to Whole Foods today and I got an Odwalla Vanilla Protein Shake and a small bag of this Raw Maca Powder to put in some of my food for nutrients, cancer fighting ammo while bringing my body to more alkaline level. I am going to try to start to get back into getting my body into a cancer fighting machine.

Since the rest of that yucky whey smoothie was in the freezer for a few hours; I took it out of the freezer and I let it thaw for just a little while, then I added some of the Odwalla that I hadn't finished and then a table spoon of this Raw Maca Powder (incan superfood). I have to admit I was a little stoned and it was a good thing (I needed to drink this and also take my antibiotic) The smoothie then tasted exactly like Baby Food Creamed Corn. Ewwwwwww! Freaking so nasty, but because I was stoned (thank GOD!); I am proud that I finished the whole 8 oz. with out puking!) Wow! That's Pretty amazing and that smoothie is so incredibly good for me and my intestines!)

This morning; I didn't have the 4am wake-up call with projectile organs which was really nice. I wonder if that smoothie had anything to do with that? Maca powder? I did have to take a Percocet before I went to bed and that has had to become the norm for me. It's mostly because of the fear that I have of this pain; during digestion. I get some scar tissue type pains in lower abdomen too.

At times I wonder if stomach fluid (because of the shortened intestinal tract) is coming out of my ass which is why the excessive burning and then of course those muscle spasms. It could be the combination of all the cutting that has been happening there (5 times). I just know in my heart that it is healing and only a matter of time before I don't have to take anything for pain. I can live off of my natural highs in life (biking, snowboarding, swimming, hiking, rollerblading, skating, etc). I'm not allowed to right now with this stupid bag so here's to it being gone when I awake later on Monday!

UPDATE: I spoke too early and the projectile organs started up again. I had to do a percocet and then about an hour and half later (they wouldn't stop and it was killing me), I did a Klonopan; now I am feeling much better. Thank GOD!) I hate that pain.

Check out my stomach, see where that "X" is; that marks the place where when the muscle spasms hurt the most; it feels like a tear here and it so painful!(. If you notice the lower part of my stomach is very flat and then there is a divot (not sure what to call that -for all I know I could be calling this a piece of shit! it seems like the right term?) but the skin and everything just kind of moves up my stomach like there is a hill there. Now this will be interesting to see how my body will be shaping up in the coming months. I even circled where that awful fistula hole once was. It's just a tiny little right now. Trippy, huh?

Well this weekend should be fun and I have to get my sleeping pattern changed once and for all. (going to bed at 2am and awaking at 11:30ish) Boogie on Bayou is happening in Campbell this weekend and we got invited to a few barbeques this weekend as well. We have also been invited to a Birthday party for a friends 13 year old. We will see.

Nothing has changed with Tonto; he's still into his tunnel!)


nancymarrs@comcast.net said...

Hi swee' pea,
Tis great news that you will become tubeless on Monday. Maybe I'll see you at Boogie. We love you lots and your spirit is amazing.
Take good care,
Love, Nancy M

l'optimiste said...

I also pray for success in this surgery.

what? No-one should rather die than lose their hair - losing your hair totally sucks, but really...that's insane?

Good luck Monday baby - i will be watching for your update telling us the bag has GONE!!

Anonymous said...

I wish you nothing but the best for your surgery on Monday. I'll be honest in saying it's really not so bad...as long as you speak up and tell them when you need drugs! Don't hesitate to ask for more if you start to feel anything...they had to wheel me out after mine :)
The stent will feel so much better than the nephrostomy...it kind of irritates your bladder a little and sometimes makes you feel like you have to pee when you really don't, but you get used to it. Anything to get rid of this piss bag, right?!
I watched the Farrah special as well and was so surprised that, for someone who is fighting so hard and travelling half way across the world for treatments, she would even hesitate when offered a chemo that would make her lose her hair. I know it's scary, but you get over it real quick...
Good luck to you on Monday...I can't wait to hear how well everything went when you get home!

Anonymous said...

Good luck on Monday. I've been following your blog for a while and really enjoy your writing style, pics, sense of humor, etc. I was dx 12/07 w/OVCA and live in the south bay area, too.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow! Judy

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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