WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Home Improvements and love...

My honey and his friend have slowly been making progress in our home this week in making small repairs. It's little fixes that have needed to be fixed for a little while and finally getting those done as he is off from work and taking good care of me. We are both so busy that we hardly every have the time to do things for our selves or our home.

We are finally getting the horrible carpet torn out this week (I'm sure this has been making us sick for some time). I'm so proud of him; he ordered the gorgeous flooring on Monday and hopefully it will be here in time before my brother and father arrive (June 11th and 13th). This is my birthday gift from him; home improvements!

Most women would not accept this as part of their gifts but to me they are gifts. I don't wish to ask for more. Just having a home to call home with the man that I love is the best gift I could possibly ask for. I also get to be a part of this whole ambitious project only my honey doesn't want me doing any more than directing and giving orders as to what I would like; where to position things and I picked the flooring out.

He still keeps hounding me about what I want for my birthday and I already have my gifts; I don't need anything else. Got my man, my brother and father are coming out to visit, I'm getting a beautiful spalted maple floor for my kitchen, dining, and living room, a new shower head, and a new door handle (thingy?), oh and a new fan for the upstairs bathroom (it's awesome and quiet and more light in the bathroom!) It just keeps getting better.

He replaced our old door handle on our front door with a magnificent one that a friend of ours had given us about 7 years ago. We priced it out and it would have cost us $400 but we saved that money and used what we already had. The old door handle didn't work very good and would shake and become unsteady when leaving the house; it was also hard to get back in. Each time, it felt as if the key would get stuck; now it's effortless and works like a gem! There's like no effort at all to place the key in and turn. It's like fun to open the door to my own home!)

The shower has also been fixed and now I have a magic wand if I would like to use on my poor sore bum. Yes, lots of diarrhea lately from that antibiotic for my bladder infection. I have also been vomiting a lot more than usual and this stems from the heart burn and muscle spasms in my abdomen. It seems a lot like a muscle spasm in that it starts in the middle and it goes opposite directions; one down to my ass and the other, up my esophagus. Is this why I am still able to grow muscle after 4 surgeries and now a 5th? I think so!

How painful and frustrating it was to have to go through; but the pot has been working to help my appetite after these episodes. It's all I can do to get an appetite and to try to gain some weight. I finally got up to 117 last night (weighing myself 2 x a day). I am so anxious to start gaining some weight so that I can at least get more healthy.

While all of this home improvement has been going on; I have been going through those painful episodes and have been confined to the couch with occasional walks outside. I can't stand up for too long or my intestines feel that they need to empty after a few minutes.

I do feel that I am slightly improving in that I can eat more foods but the digestion issue is still a little iffy. I have the appetite for the food, can eat it, but then I get sick a few hours later. It's like horrible heart burn. Sometimes I still wake up with the heartburn of food from the night before and it's almost impossible to try to eat something the next morning unless I utilize some cannabis.

Yesterday, Mr. Tonto finally got to go over to my neighbors house to explore. I took him over to my neighbor's house with Blue Belle and we hung out for a little while and then me and Blue left Tonto there for about 4 hours to have a blast exploring and playing. He had an absolute blast and is welcome back anytime he desires. I'm taking him there today if he desires to.

My neighbor told me that while he was there, he ate a whole container of catnip and even played around her house; then then scared her two cats. which he clearly weighs more than both cats put together and that's pretty funny. I have tried and tried to put this cat on a diet; I walk him when I can, feed him twice a day (for the weight I would like him to be = not his current weight), he and Blue Belle play sometimes; but I think he entices the neighbors. He gets treats every day and knows exactly how to get them.

Blue Belle was sad to stay home while my honey and I had a date. We went to have sushi with some more neighbors. We tried to buy them dinner, but they refused? Why is everyone being so nice to us? Oh, I know why; we are blessed with love!) We love the opportunity to do nice things for our neighbors as well.

When we got home from Sushi, Miss Blue Belle had helped herself to nearly a whole packet of saltines. She had sat on her rug and finished off the entire rest of those saltines while we went to have sushi. I ate maybe 4 last night to try to calm my tummy, rolled the end up really good and then placed in the bottom shelf of my pantry. It was easy for her to get to; she has never done that before (she didn't knock anything over to get to it), but she was making it known that she was not happy that Tonto got to hang with my other neighbor. I guess she felt entitled to those saltines.

I know now he's (Tonto) very friendly; 180 degrees when I first got him. He was one wild, skinny, crazy devil cat! Now he's a lush and a huge lover boy.. I think he just wanted those other kitties to please be friends with him and of course to play with them. He loves entertainment and those kitties probably entertained him some until he got bored with them. They growled at him from under a bed and he sat under that bed with the cats and tried to chatter with them. He may have hissed and growled back but then it got to his usual conversations. "where's the food?", "where can I go potty?" or "let's go play some games!". I really wonder what is meant to come out of those kitty conversations he often has? It was so cute to imagine. Here is a cute photo and a video of his fun. This one is very short and taken after he dumped the whole container of catnip all over himself. I was there for that!)

We woke up in time and got ready and my honey took me to the Farmer's Market this morning and I got just enough veggies for a nice romantic lunch with my honey. We had some friends stop by to help my honey take apart my Vaporizer and clean it. It hasn't worked in quite a few months.

I decided to have an easy meal today and at least try to eat some of my cannabis (just a few pinches) in my special spaghetti sauce. I cooked some spinach pasta and it was so incredibly amazing with my special sauce! You could still taste some of the spinach but boy did that sauce rock! I cooked the garlic, red onions, Celtic Sea Salt, fresh herbs from my garden (oregano, basil) and some from my neighborhood freshly ground (cannabis), several cloves of fresh garlic,, finely chopped red onions, a touch of Cayenne Pepper in the sauce and cooked the special sauce for about 20 minutes. We broke out the "Mangus" Arizona Stronghold (I added some to my sauce along with olive oil during the last 5 minutes of cooking). What an awesome day!) It sure took the pain away and I feel because I was digesting the cannabis; finally some feelings of normalcy!) My intestines didn't ache or hurt for at least several hours. I was able to walk around better, didn't feel that constant heartburn nausea feeling; it was great!)

Anyway, I froze the special sauce in order to save for my birthday. (I will be updating on that, maybe some fun video; who knows?) I hope to make a homemade pizza on my new Pizza Stone (finally remembered a gift my honey could get me!). It doesn't get any better than that with my little brother (only he's not so little anymore!) He needs to have some fun with his sister and we haven't seen each nearly 4 years. Did I mention he is a professional Dog Groomer? Fun with family it will be! I hope to take my brother and my father to the Farmer's Market that very morning in order to pick out ingredients to add to a homemade pizza with my very special sauce. It will be more or less the family times that are not planned, but just fall into place. Since today worked out so well why not again!

I do know that there is a woman at the market that is sometimes there selling the most amazing mushrooms (Maitaki, Shitaki, button, all kinds!), she's not always there, but I will be sure to try to get few of those on our pizza's. I'm freezing the sauce now and then letting it thaw in the fridge for that Saturday (13th). Let's see if I can accomplish that! It's all about making your dreams come true and planning them (if any plans at all) one at a time. The Farmer's Market has the most amazing organic tomatoes that are not quite red and singes of purple in them! I love the colorful tomatoes! Those kinds of slices sound amazing on my pizza!

After eating, I only had 1/2 a glass of wine and used the first 1/2 for the sauce of the Maynard Wine! I was able to walk around outside and did not have that feeling where my intestines are falling. They felt they were OK today (after eating my special sauce & using the vaporizer). Today, we are celebrating life; the very last day of May, and we still have each other!) Sorry to be so sappy, but that's just the way that we are!)

Now the Countdown to my family visit, then I have surgery to hopefully "internalize the stint". Yes, it got scheduled! The appointment! Oh God! Do I hope it works? I sure hope and pray that it does! Feeling that pinch and it wasn't very comfortable to feel, but I hope they are able to get that little tube down my ureter!) No more nephostomy bag!)

BITCH SESSION: It's getting old as the temperatures rise and I want to do a Cannonball into the pool, I want to sit in the hot tub and make-out with my honey, I want to ride my beautiful bike around the neighborhood and not have to worry about yanking tubes and wires? out of my back? What the hell! I'm so ready to get rid of this nephostomy bag!

OK, enough with the bitching, but I am still very thankful to have had such a wonderful day with my honey. We had such a fun day together and he even cleaned my vaporizer so that I can use it finally! It's been out of use since January. Now it's working and I'm feeling much better (less pain) and even did some Yoga stretches. I also sat and meditated for just a little while; it felt wonderful to do and I need to try to do that more often.

A good woman in Canada is now worrying about her second kidney. She helped me so much through my nephostomy bag worries; she's had hers since September and getting around just fine with her son and loving husband. It's always good to connect with other people who share your same worries so that you can gain strength from each other. Thank you Becky! I will always be grateful to you and all the strong women I have met who are also battling for their lives!

I think we both have been through the ringer a few too many times but we both continue our battles. We write each other occasionally or just go to each other blogs to find out how we are each doing. I'm definitely thinking miracle thoughts and blessings for her that her left kidney pushes that tumor away from it, or that something kills that despicable tumor growing there! May there be chemo that can and will do that for her! Here's to that cure we will see one day soon!o)

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Crystal from KIZZ said...

Hi, I am glad to have found you! Your blog was brought to may attention from Link Referral. Not sure how link referral found me, but I am a survivor of breast cancer...was diagnosed in 2007. did 6 chemo and 33 radiation. had another biopsy last November that came out good! I too used pot to help with the nausea and appetite. Way better that the pills they gave me.... You have lived with cancer for 6 1/2 years....you are an inspiration. Once you have cancer i think you are always living with cancer as the fear of it returning never goes away.
I will follow you from now on and my prayers are with you! I am passing my good Kharma to you . Positive attitude is one strong key to those who deal with cancer.
Be strong in your next surgery and I pray all will go well.
God Bless you and glad to have found you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the shout out - you have no idea how much that made me smile and trust me - I'm having a hard time finding reasons to smile this week.
If I didn't have the internet, I think I'd go crazy...it's awesome "meeting" women who really, truly understand the stuggles that we go through daily.
It's also great to have new friends who don't blow smoke up your a$$ with "oh, things will be fine!" and "this is just a bump in the road"...this is tough stuff we're dealing with and the reality can be down right frightening.
You have no idea how many women you may have helped simply by sharing your positive attitude...
Becky xx

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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