WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Another Bladder Infection & more....

I had a nice day on Saturday as I got to hang out with my neighbor Amanda as we took Miss Blue Belle for her bath. Tonto needed a bath really bad as well and hasn't had one since Blue Belle's birthday (February 21st). That's a stinky cat and he sure knows it!

Well now, I am now up to 4 hours of being able to go out in public with out feeling too much pain. It seems that when I stand up for an extended amount of time; I can kind of feel it in my intestines in that they are not healed just yet. As I was getting at; if I do stand for a period of time; particularly standing in line; I start to feel as if my insides are about to come right out of me or that they feel as if they are falling down into a pile right inside my abdomen. It's kind of pressure sort of pain; that's the best that I can describe it. I'm only taking 1 pain pill per day and utilizing cannabis when needed (anal and intestinal spasms which usually occur at night).

It's scary to feel this kind of pain; but I'm getting more and more used to it. In all honesty, I have been a little depressed and worried about my body not healing or getting back to work. I really want my life to be normal so much! I do love the time that I am spending with my honey (that is such a gift!) as he takes such good care of me. He always seems to bring me right back up when I feel my weakest. I am his princess and he sure makes me feel that way!) That kind of support is essential for a quality of life with cancer. He makes all the pain that I suffer from not so bad and all the more worth fighting for my life; I'm alive and that's the most important thing here.

To get back to my afternoon with Amanda, we first stopped to eat some lunch at a sandwich shop and I ate a small amount of plain turkey sandwich. Then we took Miss Blue into Pet Food Express for a self service Doggie wash. Everyone in the store knows her name; and we arrive each time; it's almost like a grand entrance on the Red Carpet with the exception of flashes and exposures going off. Everyone that works at this store usually greets Miss Blue Belle as we walk in. "Hi Blue Belle!" Each time, she walks right up to the counter, with her ears back and tail wagging for a treat.

As I was paying for my tokens; the nice girl whom I have known there for 3 years; then asked me if I had had knee surgery. I was so happy to actually brag about what a trooper I am for surviving 5 major abdominal surgeries and being a 6 and half year survivor of the deadliest of all female cancers. She put up her hand high to slap my hand and Said "great Job Sister!". It made me and Amanda feel great now that she is going on 10 years! All this time; she had no idea and all the times I have been in there coming in every month or so for a bath for the last couple of years.

We then took Miss Blue Belle over to the tubs and washed her carefully and then dried her off which took most of the time. There were a few other dogs getting their baths as well; some Welsh Corgies, and a Golden Retriever. Blue Belle was relieved once we finished drying her and got to take her shopping for some new nail trimming treats. Her and Tonto both get special, special treats when they allow me to trim their nails. She loves to shop especially if she knows that she is getting things out of it!)

We were about to head to more shopping when my intestines started to churn a little and started to feel as if they were falling or pulling downward (it's really weird) and my bottom ached. I was better once we got to the car but it still hurt. On the way back we stopped for about 10 minutes to let Miss Blue Belle play some frisbee and work off some of those fattening treats she got at the shop. After the quick romp, I took Amanda home and then the diarrhea started and the bladder infection progressively got worse as the evening wore on.

I decided to rest for the rest of the evening since standing up and doing things was causing me pain. As my honey and I were watching TV together; Tonto was up to his usual tricks and jealously that he didn't get a bath. I could tell that he's been feeling like a dirtbag but we just couldn't bring bring him with us because we wanted to do some shopping (can't leave him in the car) so I figured I could just wash him in the sink at home. Well I didn't get to do that and of course he didn't like that idea too much either.

He walked around the living room and chatted to us then started lick himself very loudly. When we raved about Blue Belle's bath on Saturday night and how beautiful she looked, how good she smelled; I honestly think that got to the cat. He would scoul over at me as we raved about Blue Belle's pretty fur. It was like really dirty looks; like "go to hell!". While we were watching a movie, he walked right over to the the front of the TV, sat there, lifted his leg way up and just licked his butt for about 15 minutes straight. It was kinda loud too (almost slurping); I could hear his licking. My husband and I laughed and laughed as I told him why he was doing this. Tonto finally got over it and jumped up into his kitty castle, he scowled at us some more and then he fell asleep.

I was still in a great deal of pain so I emailed my doctor and I even left a message about the infection (it was Saturday night). All night long the infection irritated me. I tried literally dozens of times; crawling into bed and then jumping out of bed to go to the bathroom. I took some Percocet (1 every 6 hours = 2 for the whole night) and 1 Klonopin when the spasms (& diarrhea) started to get bad. I even threw up from the violence of my intestines. It really felt like violence because it was so darned painful. I tried not to wake up my honey and worry him but he couldn't help but notice. I started bleeding from the bladder infection as I tried to pee and a little bit of blood would come out. How irritating. I tried to lie down and each time I did it felt like I had to pee; I would go and a mixture of pee and blood drops would come out and it burned so bad; I almost fell off the toilet.

I finally had enough and then I then went downstairs and rolled myself a joint. I couldn't take it anymore. The cannabis helped so much that I drank a mixture of 2 glasses of water and cranberry juice. I sat up for a few minutes longer and then went to bed. I slept for a few hours and then called the Advice Nurse the next morning when I didn't get any response from my doctor.

I was able to get an appointment later on that evening (6:20pm) and I had also ran out of pain medications. I did have enough to stay drugged up most of the day (1 Percocet) on Sunday but at least I was painfree. Since I had some time, I washed Tonto. He didn't like being washed in the kitchen sink, but once he was clean; he was happy again.

I went to see a doctor and the nurse that brought me back was inspired by me and all that I had been going through. (yes, I told her everything) She couldn't believe that I was still upbeat despite the pain I was in. I told her; that's just how important life is to me. The pain doesn't matter, but still needs to be attended to if possible. I can live with it; but it's hard.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and checked out my breathing and also tapped my back to see if it was painful in certain areas. I told her pretty much everything that I was going through. She looked at me and I could see the compassion in her eyes as I told her about the pain that I was suffering. She gave me a refill for more Percocets (finally finished the bottle) and the same Antibiotic that I had been on to help clear up my bladder infection.

When I got home; my neighbors had brought over a wonderful grilled Salmon, home made mashed potatoes and some steamed asparagus (actually not sure how she cooked it but damn was it good!) with Hollandaise sauce. What a blessing to have such thoughtful caring, wonderful neighbors! ) That term "Love thy Neighbor" applies. I was able to eat an excellent meal and take my much needed antibiotic (which required that I take it with food).

We then watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". My honey had cleaned the litter box just earlier and while we were watching the movie; the box all of a sudden reaked. It was so freaking stinky. I had guessed that Tonto didn't want to get his paws dirty so he just didn't cover his dootie. I was right; we had to cover it up, spray the box and light up an incence; we laughed some and then continued on with the movie. It was indeed an interesting movie which does require attention. It's very long, but it was enjoyable!

I did get some more diarrhea later that night but I was able to control my pain much better. Well because of my infection; we decided not to do our little romantic get away. Instead; we are redoing the floors! Getting rid of the icky carpet! We have a good friend who will be helping us out! That's one thing about this disease is that you really get to know who your true friends are and it makes the family much closer. I think the my predicament has changed many lives; and I hope it inspires others to not take life for granted and appreciate the small things in life. OK enough with that! Peace and Love to all!

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TC said...

You are so lucky to have your husband and to really appreciate him. I'm one of those people who takes pain med if I hurt and I know you are doing what you have to do. The body will heal itself, I'm sorry to hear of all the continued infection and pain but know you are trooping through it. I laughed and laughed about Tonto not getting a bath and not covering his poop!
TAKE IT EASY when you are redoing the floors, you're just supervising right?

R.DaLomba said...

Hello! Just want to say hi, and that I'm praying for you. I hope you have much better days to come. Stay strong, girl. You're an inspiration and a tough cookie.

l'optimiste said...

hi sweetie - just popped by for a read and I hope things are improving. You're always in my thoughts.

nat said...

Are they going to give you some other type of antibiotic? This one sure doesn't seem to be helping :(

I'm glad that you are feeling stronger, even though your intestines still haven't forgiven you for all that they have been through. I can only imagine how discouraging it must be, at times, to deal with that.

Please, tell your sweet husband to cheer extra hard for the Chicago Blackhawks tonight. We need all the help we can get.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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