WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Just get stronger....

After the bad news; I did the only thing I could do; enjoy all those drugs that were in my system making me so incredibly sleepy. I slept to my heart's content. I woke up for a few hours Monday night; then Tuesday morning I awoke shortly after 1pm. I got to take a quick semi-shower but have still yet to figure out the whole removal of the Nephostomy bag.

I cleaned myself as good as I could and even shampooed and conditioned my hair. As I was brushing my teeth and freshening myself up; my honey took Miss Blue Belle out for a walk. He told me that one of our neighbors was out by the pool and could use my company; so I jumped at the opportunity to learn something new.

This particular neighbor is so incredibly interesting and I always learn the very best ideas for being more green conscientious. I love people like this; her garden is the absolute best. She is able to feed herself all summer long and has even offered me some of her excellent greens for salads. She also has a worm farm where she actually knows what the hell she is doing. I got one because I just wanted to learn something new (& great for the environment); in fact my worm farm scared the living crap out of me when these scary bugs started living inside the box. Oh GOD were they scary!( I was having seriously scary worm and bug nightmare dreams where I finally decided that I had to absolutely surrender ownership of those scary, scary worms. Sometimes, I would wake up and lay out the loudest squeal; because I thought bugs and worms were actually crawling all over me. I would wake up, hyperventilating, and even having an anxiety attack. That worm bin had to absolutely go!

Finally, I had enough scary bug dreams that I donated my whole worm farm set-up which did cost me over $200 + with the worms and all to a local elementary school. From what I hear from the teacher; those kids had an absolute blast taking apart my worm composter. They probably even leaned some new species from all my nasty kitchen compost and stuff? What the hell where those scary ass worm bugs? Who knows? GOD were they scary!

Well anyway; I was feeling spry enough to get my bony little ass outside, in a sunhat, and I walked outside to the pool to talk and hang out with my neighbor Barbara; my green, composting, gardening, animal loving neighbor. We sat outside while she swam and I sat on the side of the pool; soaking the water on my legs and even getting my nephostomy bag a little wet. No big deal but the water felt so fabulous (85 degrees). I wanted so bad to do a cannonball into the water but I didn't; I was a good girl.

Anyway, we talked some about how I could still compost in my kitchen by dumping all of my compost into the garbage bin with out a bag; all kinds of things we discussed as we often do. This little way of composting could be good for the environment and the landfill. We will see if that works; I'll try again; NO MORE BUGS!

I think she might be on the board in my complex but she did explain certain laws that I didn't much know about in complexes such as where we live. We are not allowed to have Chickens and while I had my composter; that is one thing I wish I had; hell I still wish I had 2 cute little Japanese Silkie chickens to lays eggs for my honey each day. Chickens are fun to have as pets and they may make funky sounds and clucks but for some reason we can't have them as pets because of zoning laws. No farm animals?

UPDATE ON MY HEALTH: You know how you always catch mistakes after the fact? Well went I got my new nephostomy bag they forgot to give me any straps and no cap what so ever. So while I am in the store, I will have to lay my nephostomy bag on the counter; hopefully it won't get scanned while I dig through my wallet? for my form of payment. What they hell?

We really did have to serious get the ball rolling to convince those in the after surgery area that I needed these things for my bag. I needed to be able to strap the bag somewhere and not just hold onto it? What the F$#K? Hello? Well my honey was a trooper, he did get the straps and then kinda sorta the cap. It was just like an obstacle coarse and having to explain things to different people in different departments. For some reason nothing comes equipped with these bags but it did while I was hospitalized. I got everything I needed for my bag while I was hospitalized but not as outpatient?

I'm doing OK and still just thankful to be alive. I can still move around and still dealing with occasional pain from muscle and body spasms; and the shortness of my sensitive intestines. I'm much better able to control them today but am still in need of pain killers. My body is still in pain and with the help of my husband and friends; I decided I will not suffer at least for a couple more days; I will stop being a hard head and just take the dam pills!

Today, I watched as a paraplegic black man in his wheel chair made it across the street guiding his wheelchair with only his mouth as he looked over at me while he passed by me in my car. There are so many people and animals out there who are struggling with their own lives right now. No need for me to feel sorry for myself given my situations. It's the not worst situations ever! They could be strengths under another light. Nothing in life is going to be perfect; but I'm getting used to my system a little more and more each day; it's just taking a little more time than I expected.

I also got to go and get my license renewed again, a new photo, an eye test and lots of waiting around. I didn't take anything for pain and it did return; but I did OK; I was able to hold on until I got home. I layed down for about an hour and then got up to to try to eat something (soup and bread).

I almost forgot: My husband and I had sat on the couch together last night talking and viewing different hotels (getting all kinds of ideas of ways to relax and just have a blast together away from home) in which to just get away for just a few days; relax and to spend some quality time together. We have 2 willing neighbors who would love the opportunity to take care of my unusual manx cat Tonto. We are still considering leaving town for a few days to relax.

Tonto is a character on his own and I plan to bring him over to both homes tonight and will update with either video or photos. One neighbor has 2 cats so that should be interesting. Anyway to get back to our romantic plans of just celebrating life even though I still suffer in some amount of pain; we will have all that we need should anything happen.

Check out this cute video of Blue Belle and Tonto playing. Tonto may not sound like he is enjoying all of this; he really is.


1 comment:

Generic Protonix said...

Nice blog posting with video , keep it up

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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