Not another Bladder infection!

Here is my handsome sexy cowboy! He is posing as an Alpaca Farmer. He is doing everything he can to take care of me and he even surprised me with some sushi (steamed rice, miso soup, CA rolls) last night. I couldn't eat that much for most of the day because I wasn't feeling good for most of the day yesterday. (infection)

Just when I have been gaining some weight; almost making it to 120, I get another set back; a bladder infection. I awoke 2 mornings in a row; both around 4:15am to having to pee really bad and then while peeing, it burned like crazy coming out. The annoying thing was; hardly any came out? I would pee a little and almost jump off the toilet once it came out; it was so darned painful. I also needed to empty my now stinky nephostomy bag. Now it's really starting to stink and I tried washing it and it seems to work some but then after a few hours the stink returns.

Well back to this infection; I took my temperature and it was a low grade fever of 99.6 which kind of worried me. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I just can't do it. I'm afraid of having to get more bags and even getting a shit bag (colostomy). It always seems like more bad news and set backs.

A few minutes after trying to pee; my tummy started churning. I had been stressed over the food choices I had made and it seemed that I was getting constipated. Well then the diarrhea started soon after and it was mostly water and hardly any substance which meant to me that I have a block somewhere that is causing everything else to not come out. There must have been lots of acid coming out of my ass because that burned like crazy too! It just was not at all pleasant. Yes, I am entitled to my joint after that dog gone pain!

I was having horribly painful spasms which made my sore on my stomach start to burn and then there was another pain that I felt while the spasms were happening. To tell you exactly how those spasms feel; they starts at my bottom and then goes to my stomach area. It's almost like an involuntary muscle reaction; while I am having the severe spasm on my anus, I am also getting a stomach spasm and then the heart burn; which with that stomach spasm almost feels as I am having a heart attack too; but damn does it hurt!

I took some Ativan and Klonopin both times but not at the same time (different nights); just to break up my medication so that it would definitely work on my spasms. So far it's been very helpful for right now; I just suffer for a little while until it kicks in; then I sometimes will sleep till noon or 9am. The Ativan for more instant relief and then a few hours after it had worn off; I will usually take a Klonapin if I start to feel like my system will act up; I did not want this to start up again. Too incredibly painful; and enough so that I had to take a Percocet too. Wow! Heavy Duty! I'm hoping this is just me healing and I pray that I am.

Yesterday I had written my Doctor about this and he suggested that I come in for a urine test. I brought Miss Blue Belle along in her vest and then on to the park for a quick game of frisbee since it was such a gorgeous day. I was slow moving and thought perhaps a quick walk for exercise might help me in my recovery. It felt wonderful and we walked up to this really nice lady with her small Ausie named "Bonnie".

Bonnie walked right up to me with her ball and just placed it right at my feet. I couldn't reach down to throw it because my back was kind of aching from the infection. The nice lady walked up to me as we talked and our dogs got romp and play together. She was amazed at what I had gone through as I told her my favorite love story after my 1st surgery. I love that true story always and I love others reactions when they realize that yes true love actually exists. Marriage can actually mean "in sickness and in health". I don't want to say the "till death do us part" just yet; I'm just not ready and he isn't either. We want to be happy together for many years to come.

Well, this morning was pretty bad with my infection, but I have it under control with controlled substances (Prescribed to me by my doctors). I really need to smoke some cannabis so that I can finally stomach replenishing my much needed liquids. That's one cool thing I notice with this plant is that it doesn't hurt me to use with any of my medications.

All of my prescribed medications do not allow for me to drink any alcohol so I'm not drinking any alcohol what so ever and haven't done so in a little over 2-3 months?

Well back to how the cannabis will help me. I always seem to get this horrible taste in my mouth (from the pain medications, or antibiotics) which in turn makes nearly impossible for me to stomach drinking any water right now. I feel that if I drink any right now; I will vomit. Hence; cannabis. I can actually tell that I am getting dehydrated and that's the only way I know that will help me. I know I have lost a lot and I don't even have an appetite. I also lost some more weight and am back down to 114.5.

UPDATE: My doctor called and told me that yes indeed I am suffering from a heavy duty infection. He asked about the Cipro and I told him "can't do that one". It made me so sick and I need to gain some weight. I am back on the Septra which worked for my last bladder infection. He also asked if Radiology had called to schedule trying to remove the nephostomy bag and replacing it with a stint. He also told me that he was concerned about these infections and my suseptablity of getting more fistulas. This really scares me and I pray that I can at least live a normal life in time for next snowboard season. I pray the end is not soon for me; it really scares me. I still have hope but I still have fear.

Here is where my medicinal cannabis will help to save my life. It's scary to be going through this but at least I am able to do something about it with out having to worry about going to jail like in states like North Carolina or South Carolina where they have a 0 tolerance for this age old medicine. For some reason these states have tons of money to toss in the toilet to arrest patients or peaceful individuals utilizing their own body to relaxation. Yes, that's exactly how I look at it. They have no right and this plant is on our Planet for a Reason; god gave it to us. It seems these very states stand by racism and lies for making this powerful lifesaving medicine illegal. I hope one day many other patients in my situation are able to save their lives too. I already know now that if I don't do something; I could die and that's scary to me. Why not prove to be Pro-Life and help the already living?

I am very encouraged that in my state that this plant could soon be legalized, taxed, and regulated. If only they would open the gateway for Industrial Hemp which would create much more revenue and jobs for the state of California. This could soon change too. I got to read some good news about my Govenator:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/05/11/MNQI17GMBR.DTL

To me, this is good news. Well the truth about me is that I'm not entirely religious (I have to admit that I am confused in that area), but I am very spiritual. (it's probably from some of my Native American background - I am still considered a Caucasian mutt!) I have this belief that there is a God in nature (not in huge Churches) and that he created this medicine for a purpose.

As for legalization, I don't see any problems. Many people right now are unemployed and some are very stressed out.; just watch the local news and it's a total stress out! Cannabis has a way of relaxing those who are stressed and I don't see any problem with those who need it. I feel so strongly that this plant can curtail the family feuds and stresses over money and allow for them to enjoy quality family time with out violence. Sure, mixing with different drugs or food have varrying side effects , like alcohol. I don't feel it should be mixed with alcohol just as many medications are. You never hear of anyone committing violence after partaking in cannabis (if you do; another drug is often involved); I feel it is needed and it could help states with their budget shortfall; particularly in California.

Industrial Hemp has so many uses and could create countless jobs; it is not dangerous at all and in fact quite the opposite. It is the strongest material known to man. Can you imagine if we utilized hemp for more than just clothing?

As for me in surviving this horrible disease; this blog helps me and is excellent for me get out my feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams; I do hope that I inspire many and perhaps help others to appreciate what they do have in hopes that they too will listen to their bodies when something is wrong.

This blog is very open and honest; because simply; I don't have much to hide nor do I feel like hiding. I'm Alive so hear me Roar! I'm so proud to have survived so much and I will keep on surviving. I just enjoy living as much as possible even though lately it has been on the couch and in my own bed, short walks outside, and even small trips to the grocery store.

My honey and I are still trying to plan a few days get away on the beach somewhere close by with our girl. Tonto may have to stay with our neighbors for those few days. He won't mind as long as he is fed, loved and talked to. Here's to making it through many more obstacles in life!)