WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Not another Bladder infection!

Here is my handsome sexy cowboy! He is posing as an Alpaca Farmer. He is doing everything he can to take care of me and he even surprised me with some sushi (steamed rice, miso soup, CA rolls) last night. I couldn't eat that much for most of the day because I wasn't feeling good for most of the day yesterday. (infection)

Just when I have been gaining some weight; almost making it to 120, I get another set back; a bladder infection. I awoke 2 mornings in a row; both around 4:15am to having to pee really bad and then while peeing, it burned like crazy coming out. The annoying thing was; hardly any came out? I would pee a little and almost jump off the toilet once it came out; it was so darned painful. I also needed to empty my now stinky nephostomy bag. Now it's really starting to stink and I tried washing it and it seems to work some but then after a few hours the stink returns.

Well back to this infection; I took my temperature and it was a low grade fever of 99.6 which kind of worried me. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I just can't do it. I'm afraid of having to get more bags and even getting a shit bag (colostomy). It always seems like more bad news and set backs.

A few minutes after trying to pee; my tummy started churning. I had been stressed over the food choices I had made and it seemed that I was getting constipated. Well then the diarrhea started soon after and it was mostly water and hardly any substance which meant to me that I have a block somewhere that is causing everything else to not come out. There must have been lots of acid coming out of my ass because that burned like crazy too! It just was not at all pleasant. Yes, I am entitled to my joint after that dog gone pain!

I was having horribly painful spasms which made my sore on my stomach start to burn and then there was another pain that I felt while the spasms were happening. To tell you exactly how those spasms feel; they starts at my bottom and then goes to my stomach area. It's almost like an involuntary muscle reaction; while I am having the severe spasm on my anus, I am also getting a stomach spasm and then the heart burn; which with that stomach spasm almost feels as I am having a heart attack too; but damn does it hurt!

I took some Ativan and Klonopin both times but not at the same time (different nights); just to break up my medication so that it would definitely work on my spasms. So far it's been very helpful for right now; I just suffer for a little while until it kicks in; then I sometimes will sleep till noon or 9am. The Ativan for more instant relief and then a few hours after it had worn off; I will usually take a Klonapin if I start to feel like my system will act up; I did not want this to start up again. Too incredibly painful; and enough so that I had to take a Percocet too. Wow! Heavy Duty! I'm hoping this is just me healing and I pray that I am.

Yesterday I had written my Doctor about this and he suggested that I come in for a urine test. I brought Miss Blue Belle along in her vest and then on to the park for a quick game of frisbee since it was such a gorgeous day. I was slow moving and thought perhaps a quick walk for exercise might help me in my recovery. It felt wonderful and we walked up to this really nice lady with her small Ausie named "Bonnie".

Bonnie walked right up to me with her ball and just placed it right at my feet. I couldn't reach down to throw it because my back was kind of aching from the infection. The nice lady walked up to me as we talked and our dogs got romp and play together. She was amazed at what I had gone through as I told her my favorite love story after my 1st surgery. I love that true story always and I love others reactions when they realize that yes true love actually exists. Marriage can actually mean "in sickness and in health". I don't want to say the "till death do us part" just yet; I'm just not ready and he isn't either. We want to be happy together for many years to come.

Well, this morning was pretty bad with my infection, but I have it under control with controlled substances (Prescribed to me by my doctors). I really need to smoke some cannabis so that I can finally stomach replenishing my much needed liquids. That's one cool thing I notice with this plant is that it doesn't hurt me to use with any of my medications.

All of my prescribed medications do not allow for me to drink any alcohol so I'm not drinking any alcohol what so ever and haven't done so in a little over 2-3 months?

Well back to how the cannabis will help me. I always seem to get this horrible taste in my mouth (from the pain medications, or antibiotics) which in turn makes nearly impossible for me to stomach drinking any water right now. I feel that if I drink any right now; I will vomit. Hence; cannabis. I can actually tell that I am getting dehydrated and that's the only way I know that will help me. I know I have lost a lot and I don't even have an appetite. I also lost some more weight and am back down to 114.5.

UPDATE: My doctor called and told me that yes indeed I am suffering from a heavy duty infection. He asked about the Cipro and I told him "can't do that one". It made me so sick and I need to gain some weight. I am back on the Septra which worked for my last bladder infection. He also asked if Radiology had called to schedule trying to remove the nephostomy bag and replacing it with a stint. He also told me that he was concerned about these infections and my suseptablity of getting more fistulas. This really scares me and I pray that I can at least live a normal life in time for next snowboard season. I pray the end is not soon for me; it really scares me. I still have hope but I still have fear.

Here is where my medicinal cannabis will help to save my life. It's scary to be going through this but at least I am able to do something about it with out having to worry about going to jail like in states like North Carolina or South Carolina where they have a 0 tolerance for this age old medicine. For some reason these states have tons of money to toss in the toilet to arrest patients or peaceful individuals utilizing their own body to relaxation. Yes, that's exactly how I look at it. They have no right and this plant is on our Planet for a Reason; god gave it to us. It seems these very states stand by racism and lies for making this powerful lifesaving medicine illegal. I hope one day many other patients in my situation are able to save their lives too. I already know now that if I don't do something; I could die and that's scary to me. Why not prove to be Pro-Life and help the already living?

I am very encouraged that in my state that this plant could soon be legalized, taxed, and regulated. If only they would open the gateway for Industrial Hemp which would create much more revenue and jobs for the state of California. This could soon change too. I got to read some good news about my Govenator:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/05/11/MNQI17GMBR.DTL

To me, this is good news. Well the truth about me is that I'm not entirely religious (I have to admit that I am confused in that area), but I am very spiritual. (it's probably from some of my Native American background - I am still considered a Caucasian mutt!) I have this belief that there is a God in nature (not in huge Churches) and that he created this medicine for a purpose.

As for legalization, I don't see any problems. Many people right now are unemployed and some are very stressed out.; just watch the local news and it's a total stress out! Cannabis has a way of relaxing those who are stressed and I don't see any problem with those who need it. I feel so strongly that this plant can curtail the family feuds and stresses over money and allow for them to enjoy quality family time with out violence. Sure, mixing with different drugs or food have varrying side effects , like alcohol. I don't feel it should be mixed with alcohol just as many medications are. You never hear of anyone committing violence after partaking in cannabis (if you do; another drug is often involved); I feel it is needed and it could help states with their budget shortfall; particularly in California.

Industrial Hemp has so many uses and could create countless jobs; it is not dangerous at all and in fact quite the opposite. It is the strongest material known to man. Can you imagine if we utilized hemp for more than just clothing?

As for me in surviving this horrible disease; this blog helps me and is excellent for me get out my feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams; I do hope that I inspire many and perhaps help others to appreciate what they do have in hopes that they too will listen to their bodies when something is wrong.

This blog is very open and honest; because simply; I don't have much to hide nor do I feel like hiding. I'm Alive so hear me Roar! I'm so proud to have survived so much and I will keep on surviving. I just enjoy living as much as possible even though lately it has been on the couch and in my own bed, short walks outside, and even small trips to the grocery store.

My honey and I are still trying to plan a few days get away on the beach somewhere close by with our girl. Tonto may have to stay with our neighbors for those few days. He won't mind as long as he is fed, loved and talked to. Here's to making it through many more obstacles in life!)

4 comments:

Sara said...

Hi ShoppingKharma,
I hope that nasty infeftion gets better and that you two can go to a nice warm beach and relax!!

Anne-Marie said...

I hope your infection clears up. It sounds awful. I totally agree with you on the pot. Cigarettes are way worse for a person and yet, legal. Years ago, I read somewhere that Dow Chemical was responsible for the original ban on hemp (they didn't want the competition).

Anonymous said...

I used to suffer from horrible urinary tract infections. I have taken Cipro and Bactrim in the past. Cipro made me ill and I got a lot of yeast infections with Bactrim.

As your doctor about Levaquin. It's 1 pill a day for 10 days and I did not get any side effects.

I hope you feel better - I am rooting for you everyday. Take care of yourself and your wonderful husband.

TC said...

Bladder infections are NO fun even without being sick in the first place. Take care of yourself and husband and Blue Belle and Tonto too of course!
I gave you another award, you deserve it if anyone does, it's on my florenceview. Don't feel any pressure to do anything about it if you don't feel up to it. Hope you get your holiday on the beach soon!

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Disclosure

My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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