With each day passing since the news; it's been easier and easier to convince myself that the doctors could be very wrong about me; I could have several years still left in me. They don't know my strong will to survive or my spirit. For now, I just plan to enjoy everyday that I can; I really need to clean up my messy closet and to try to get all affairs straightened out for my honey so that he doesn't have to suffer any kind of headaches when I am gone. I hate planning things like this; I have tons of clothes and items that I plan to take over to the Salvation Army and get a receipt for his taxes for next year. I hope I am able to at least leave him with some amount of money to cover any costs of getting rid of me (cremation) and to help him with moving on. God that must sound bad; it does makes me cry just a little bit to think that way.
I am at least controlling the pain and have been ahead of it so far. I did get behind some the day before yesterday and have vowed never to do that again. The pain in my abdomen is far too great to have to suffer like that. I can hear myself digest and the sad thing is; is that I don't have any appetite to even eat anything. I tried to eat a bagel (only ate a 4th of it), then 1/2 an orange which really made me sick; so sick that I had to lay down and hopefully not puke it up. I can't just live off of junk food and ice cream even though I have been surviving on ice cream smoothies ever couple of days I will have one.
I have also been getting quite a bit of diarrhea and it could be from the Cipro which I have to take twice a day at the same exact time every day which 7am and 7pm. I am riding my bike everyday and doing some yoga and meditation. I moved this Amethyst crystal right in front on my coffee table where I often sit to watch TV. I tried to meditate on the couch and visualize the cancer cells popping, exploding, and dying inside my toxic body. OK, I will be on the search for the right juicer today! It can't be a shitty one that's hard to clean up and leaves sticky residue on my counter space.
Well enough of this depressing shit; let's move on and celebrate National Ovarian Cancer Awareness month and I will start with ways of applying make-up and of course a little blurb about the special Hope Make-up Bag from L’Oréal Paris
THE L’ORÉAL PARIS COLOR of HOPE COSMETICS BAG
L’Oréal Paris will offer the limited edition Color of Hope Cosmetics Bag, which includes four key products from the company’s Color of Hope Cosmetics Collection in a silver cosmetics pouch, for a limited time only.With an approximate retail value of almost $50, the L’Oréal Paris Color of Hope Cosmetics Bag is a great value with a retail price of only $29.95.
L’Oréal Paris will donate $5 from each cosmetics bag purchased to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF).
HOW TO CREATE BEAUTIFUL MAKEUP LOOKS AND FEEL GREAT ABOUT HELPING TO FUND OVARIAN CANCER RESEARCH
EXPERT ADVICE FROM L’ORÉAL PARIS CONSULTING MAKEUP ARTIST COLLIER STRONG
LOOK #1: BOLD EYES AND SOFT LIPS
This look is all about bold, beautiful eyes using the symbolic color of ovarian cancer awareness—teal—with the Wear Infinité Eye Shadow Quad in Bouquet of Strength.
- Sweep the soft, shimmering gold shadow on the brow bone as well as on the inner corners of the eyes.
- Give eyes a gorgeous a pop of teal shadow across the entire lid.
- Use a very fine dark blue liner on the top of the lash line.
- Finish with several coats of black mascara.
- Make lips understated and warm with the Colour Riche Lipcolour in Color of Hope.
- To complete the look, dust cheeks with warm, natural blush.
LOOK #2: DARK, DRAMATIC LIPS AND PRETTY EYES
The inspiration for this look is deep, dramatic lips and a soft, daytime look for eyes, once again using the color teal and other shades found in the Wear Infinité Eye Shadow Quad in Bouquet of Strength.
- Use the soft gold to apply across the brow bone and the eye-opening teal from the inner corners to the center of the eye.
- Sweep the neutral taupe shadow from the center of the lid to the outer corners and under the lower lashes.
- Line the upper lash line with the deep blue shade.
- Dust cheeks with a soft and natural shade of blush.
- Lips are the focal point to complete this look; start with Colour Riche Lipcolour in Hopeful Plum.
- To intensify the lips and add shine, top with a dab of Infallible Never Fail Lipgloss in Hopeful Plum.
Collier Strong, world-renowned makeup artist, has used his gifts to enhance and illuminate the faces of Eva Longoria Parker, Kerry Washington, Diane Keaton, Marcia Cross, Kate Beckinsale, Andie MacDowell and many more of the world’s most beautiful women. Now, as L’Oréal’s Consulting Makeup Artist, Collier is dedicated to making his brand of beauty—fresh, flawless, sophisticated—available to everybody.
“True beauty is about confidence. When people look beautiful, they feel good about themselves. I have always felt a strong desire to use my creativity to make that difference in people’s lives.”
6 comments:
You are so right! Doctors spew statistics. That's all they know. You are a unique human being with your own individual ties to this life. That cannot be measured. I love your strength and desire, CJ!
I completely agree with Aroma Fields...your strength and spirit are exceptional and that's not something stats could ever hope to compete with!
At the advice of many, I have decided to seek a second opinion from another doctor. I hope and pray this doctor will have more hope and won't give up on me. If this happens then I will just give up on doctors and have more faith in myself as my own healer.
CJ - I am so glad that you are going to see another doc for another opinion. I also hope that *hope* is an outcome of that meeting. Regardless - only you (and perhaps your wonderful husband) know how much fight you have. If you don't want to give up, don't let anyone else influence you otherwise!!
Big hugs!
Your are a beautiful and strong woman. You know your body better than any doctor - do not forget that...ever.
I see so much life in your eyes and in your posts that I cannot imagine a day when there are no more posts from Shopping Kharma.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
I'm sorry you have had to start thinking about hospice.
There is some interesting research coming from Europe and Asia. I wonder if the people at L'Oreal's help line might be able to help you get into one of the vaccine trials? Sometimes trials go on where local physicians report back to the researchers.
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