WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Getting a second opinion & being my hard headed self...

Well the last post, I included some great make-up tips for others. My kitty has the best eyeliner and then eye shadow on his eyes (it looks like it). Thought this was worthy of an awwww or a laugh). See how the eyeliner goes perfectly around each eye and then there is this eyeshadow that does the same? What cool color combinations just found in nature!

My oncologist has been around for me for nearly 7 years (operated on me 6 times) and knows my body pretty well but I still emailed him asking for a referral so that I may seek a second opinion. I had posted my concerns on getting news that no cancer patient wishes to receive and I got literally 40 responses and most told me I should seek a second opinion. I asked that he please not be offended by me asking but he wasn't and he was quick to tell me that he wasn't giving up on me; he just wanted to prepare me. I honestly didn't want that at all but I probably needed it just in case and I do feel inside that I should have at least a few more years left in me. I don't wish to leave my husband any debts or headaches when I am gone so I have a few things left to pay off before I go. I hope to be able to do it.

Anyway enough of that stress; been trying to avoid all stress these days. My poor mother; it's just hitting her that the doctor had said I have 6 more months left (I know that I have more than that!), and she called me this morning hyperventilating and crying. It was so sad and I calmed her down over the phone and told her that I will fight this tooth and nail to fight this disease. I reminded her how incredibly stubborn I am and how reluctant I am at giving up on anything; especially life. I told her that I need her support now more than ever to beat this disease. If she gives up on life while I am fighting; what good would that do other than stress me out. I love life and I don't wish to loose it anytime soon.

My neighbor also made me this wonderful soup which lasted me most of the day and I had a carrot, orange, and banana smoothie for breakfast, some carrot juice for dinner along with some of that soup. I got up to 118lbs today and with shoes on 120.

I have been riding my bike around the neighborhood and have been doing some light yoga and meditation; just anything to keep me positive and to make my mind believe that the cancer cells are not surviving in my body. I am also trying Hydrogen Peroxide (10 drops = 1 teaspoon) in the morning and 1 at night. I meditate right after that and imagine PacMan eating cancer cells and those cells blowing up when I feel some light pain in my tummy. I am going to the bathroom everyday; had a minor block yesterday, but was able to fix it. Since modern medicine isn't working; I have to rely on the alternative methods for me right now until I get my strength back and can go back on chemo if I can and choose to. We will see; I'm just going to live each day one day at a time and just do my best each day to get stronger.

I did call a "Senior Assisted Living Facility" today and was able to go and visit with some seniors with Blue Belle. She brightened the place quite a bit and it was one thing that I needed for my soul to know that I am helping others out and giving them lasting moments that could last. Each one of those seniors loved having the opportunity to pet and to love on such a beautiful dog. I know I am going to do this again. She was so well behaved and she didn't lick their hands like I was worried she would do (germs), but one of the seniors was blind and deaf and her smile was so contagious. Another was in a wheel chair and I imagine she must have had Alzheimer's; she couldn't move very well and tried to feed Blue Belle her cookie that she had been trying to eat. One of the nurses there held her other hand and placed it on Blue Belle's soft fur and she just lit up. She was so excited at the very touch of Blue Belle's very soft fur. I brought my camera but when I was there I didn't feel the need to invade anyone's privacy by snapping any photos. It was a private moment for these seniors. One day I will try to take pictures but mostly to get prints back for those in the photos so that they can remember the moment better.

I got a real good juicer today and I have plenty of great veggies and fruits (on my alkaline list) to juice. It's surprising how filling those smoothies are. My neighbor bought me a Jack LaLanne juicer in exchange for my sewing machine. I really thought I would be sewing head wraps for other cancer patients and I failed miserably at that. I made a few skirts but I don't have the sewing talent that so many other women possess. I did get quite a few nephostomy wraps completed on that sewing machine and it did get it's use from me. We just needed some more room in our tiny place right now. I'm trying to clean up and get rid of things that I may never use again so that my honey doesn't have to deal in case the doctors are right. Staying busy this week has been key. My honey and I made the most delicious juices last night with celery, spinach, pears, apples, and carrots. He took it apart and cleaned it for me; supposedly this one is much easier to clean than my other juicer. We will be going to the farmer's market tomorrow morning for sure! Here's to healthy new me! Let's kill that cancer!

Another thing that I do plan to do is the call the L’Oréal Paris OCRF Hope Line, 1-877-OV-HOPE-1, since they do provide free information and support to women who are faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis; even though mine is quite Advanced; who knows; maybe they can help me? I will blog about this experience should I call. Peace and Love to all!

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Kia Taylor said...

Refreshing!! I love the sound of your words. Although, I'm not in the same position as you...I've been have a rough time lately. I'm tired of cancer and everything it attempts to rob us of...I'm so happy I read your blog today! xoxo

Girl Holding On said...

I am glad to hear you sounding better. I was worried. We are not at the same place in our cancer but I know how it can take your strength away,makeyou lose your appetite.
I like vegetable soup myself. I can digest it better.Please keep being hardheaded friend.-Barbara

Daria said...

I sure like how you handled your mom. You sound like a very smart gal.

Wishing you all the best.

TC said...

You go girl, I've seen personally people who they didn't think would last the night who are alive today and working. The mind is a powerful healing tool as are natural remedies, and GET a second opinion by all means!!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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