WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Preparing to go home...

My tentative dates to go home are either tomorrow (Thursday) or Friday. More than likely Friday and I will be getting home nurses to come and check on me and make sure my husband and I are doing things correctly.

Well evidently there will lots to be learned tonight on how to clean myself and take care of all the contraptions that I will need to care for. I have an IV pole and unit that all needs to be learned about tonight at 8pm. My honey will be educated on everything on how to take care of me. He is taking his "Family Medical Leave" tomorrow afternoon. He will be home for a whole month taking care of me.

I have my own feeding tube and the food itself (comes in huge white bags) needs it's very own shelf in the refrigerator (which is currently cleaning out). I have to go through a whole bag each day and they have it where I get about 6-8 hours of freedom (not being hooked up to the IVs) in a 24 hour day. That will be nice!) I can work my way down from there as I improve more and more each day. I might get to start liquids like next Monday or Wednesday or later than that; food is scheduled to start on Monday, May 4th. We will see. We are counting down the days until I get to eat (12 more days!).

In addition to all the responsibilities of taking care of me; my honey will have to give me shots under the skin twice a day. I'm not exactly sure what the shots are for, but I think to counter the digestive juices that could give me stomach ulcers from not eating. The nurse at the hospital also told me that it also helps to reduce the fistula or infections. I sure hope and pray that my colon and intestines will heal. When I am able to drink fluids; I plan to include drinking Aloe Juice. The Aloe Juice should help my intestines and colon to heal at least in my mind it will. What the hell, I can even do some meditation exercises in order to convince myself that I am indeed strong as hell!) I can get through this.

I have all kinds of yummy foods in the house (to tempt me) that I really, really wish I could eat but anytime I feel like eating; I can go on a walk with Miss Blue Belle or try to think of the most disgusting thing I can think of just so that I won't eat. It kind of reminds me of that one author that I studied in college "Franz Kafka". He had a form of stomach cancer or throat cancer for which he could not eat; he basically starved to death but he wrote some brilliant pieces about what he endured "Metamorphosis" and the "Hunger Artist". There are many different theories as to how he died but in many books they determined that he died of tuberculosis. I feel the throat or stomach cancer really reflects all that he had written about although it may not be true; he did starve to death ultimately. I know this hunger feels as if I am starving to death, but I know I won't die!)

UPDATE (Thursday, April 23rd): The teaching session went fantastic and my honey really is a natural. He could be a nurse; I made fun of him a little but told him I would never ever call him "nurse Focker" but he was amazing. I'm so incredibly proud of him. No photos just yet but he has another teaching session later on tonight which I plan to remember to snap a photo, download and post right here. The contraption that my feeding bag comes is just like a back pack and is stored in there and then hung from an IV pole.

Here's to my recovery! I plan to take more time off in order to heal more appropriately. My return date to work will be June 21st, Summer Solstice. I wanted my return to work to be magical and this will provide me plenty of time to heal after my nephostomy is taken out. 2 weeks of recovery from that should be sufficient. I have 6 weeks of having to deal with this nephostomy and my brother is also planning to visit. I have not seen him since October 2005. I'm so excited!)

Almost forgot to mention that my father will be visiting in 2 weeks to help my honey take care of me. Must enjoy everyday no matter what even though I am in the hospital. I am getting plenty of homework done even though the class may already be finished; I still have to finish the book no matter what. Start something; must finish or at least try to!)


Anonymous said...

Happy to hear that you'll be heading home soon although it sounds like your going home with a lot more than you came with! What a drag...
You're very lucky to have a great husband in your life but something tells me you already knew that :)
Good luck and stay well...

shannon said...

I am new to your blog and what an inspiration you are! My mother has stage III ovarian cancer, she was diagnosed last March and as I am sure you can relate...it has been one hell of a year! Your tummy looks like my moms did and yes it took a while for her to heal...but it did heal and YOU WILL TOO!!!
I love Miss Blue Bell, what a great source of comfort AND strength! I pray for you every night and I know that you will heal! Thank you for sharing your story with us, it means alot to this small town chick in Ohio...lol
God Bless You!

l'optimiste said...

hi sweetie - well, it seems like with all these activities you will be doing every day with all your 'equipment' [may it all soon be unneccesary!], the time until you can eat again will arrive quickly.

I hope so - and I'm so glad you're getting home nurses. Makes things less of a strain for the two of you. And they'll be new fans of Miss Blue Belle I am sure :o)

big hugs to you both

nat said...

Oh I am so glad you will get to go home! It is so much better to heal there (and safer too).

My husbands aunt had a feeding tube type thing too that they had to manage at home. They told them to flush it with coca cola after each feeding, which I thought was interesting!

I can't wait to read that you are home!

nat said...

Keep living, keep learning, keep 'be'-ing. A great mantra for anyone!

Tracey said...

Great news your heading home... just think the furry ones will be really fussy to see you xx

All those implements too!! hope you have a large home hehe...

keep going kiddo xxx

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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