WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, April 20, 2009

They moved me!

Today is officially 4/20 and how I wish I was at home for this special holiday to celebrate. It would be much better than these chemical pain killers but the downside would be the appetite. I still have an appetite now despite and wish it could just go away to make it easier on me. (I can't eat for another 2 weeks)

Well, it was about time I loose those 50 channels! I don't deserve them anymore and had to be moved to the surgical department where I only get 15 channels!(

How disappointing. I tried my best to stop the move but they said that I needed to go to this other department where they could handle caring for me much better. I didn't quite understand why but they have their reasons. It just didn't make any sense to me.

In all of this, I had also noticed that my text book was missing. The brute (I will call him Brutus) in emergency who had brutalized my veins when I first arrived had also packed my things to go to my room. I guess he was ready to get rid of me. He evidently did not pack my text book which was clearly with my items in emergency right down to the paperwork which had been folded and placed inside my text book. I had a nice mechanical pencil that I had clipped to some of the pages inside the book as well. I did this so that I wouldn't loose the pencil and so that it wouldn't fall out of the book. It was securely inside the book.

The reason I had noticed it was missing was that I had decided yesterday that I must quit my procrastinating and do some homework finally. I dug and dug trying to find my book and then it hit me that Brutus must have forgotten to pack my text book. I was right.

I asked the nurse if there was a lost and found and if perhaps I could get my textbook back ("Medical Terminology made Easy").

She had called down and there was no such book but told me to dial "0" and then ask to be transferred to Emergency. When I called down, the nice woman who had answered the phone remembered the book specifically. They found the book but my mechanical pencil is missing so no homework completion for me. I have no writing utensils and will have to get my honey to get me another mechanical pencil. Sorry about this boring nonsense but it really pissed me off that Brutus did this to me. The mechanical pencil was removed since it had been pinned to some of the pages and that to me was very clear. Brutus pissed me off again!

Well I had to move to the low budge room at around 10pm last night. Hopefully I can bitch my way to get the cable finally turned on in this department. Who knows? I can be pretty convincing at times. It's not fair to have only 15 channels here in this department and 50 in the other. Who do I need to talk to about this? I will find out. We all have to stay here and why not have more amenities when we are to be so bored in our rooms? Yes, the hospital can be very boring especially with only 15 channels to watch on TV.

I almost forgot, I did get a nice visit with some of neighbors yesterday (2 separate visits). My gourmet neighbor came by and brought me a beautiful white orchid and these cute little slippers which I really needed walking around on that hospital floor. It was a nice visit and talks of the pool opening up yesterday since the weather forecast has been incredibly hot. My other neighbors also stopped by briefly and also spoke of the hot, hot weather. It was nice to be inside air conditioning. In fact today will be in the 90's in San Jose and a very first spare the air day. My honey will be driving my Prius today.


Lately my tummy has been hurting worse and worse from severe hunger pains. I never had these so bad before when I didn't eat for 2 weeks; not sure why they are so bad now? This has been a total mystery for me but I have been craving everything possible from Burger King, to Caramel candies, Starbucks, Whole Foods, every food possible (feathers and fins only for meats). No cravings for red meat! I have been taking morphine and percoset because the cramping is so painful.

Still no fevers and my vitals have remained normal. My sore is improving and hopefully the fistula is healing up OK. There is still some infection coming out of the sore itself and gauze is usually packed with either peroxide or saline solution inside this sore. It looks pretty heavy duty but there is clearly no readness anywhere near those pen marks where the infection and redness was. This is good news.

I am hoping to go home this week but I'm not counting on it. I will be prepared for next week but in the mean time I need to get the cable turned on in this department if at all possible if I have to stay this weekend. I am hooked on the show "Groomer Has It" on Animal Planet and don't wish to miss my first episode (actually it's the 3rd one). I think I'm so into the show because my brother should be on the show. He loves his job being a groomer and has for the last 18 years. I have a whole week to get this done if I am staying another week.
Here's to getting out of here in a few days!

UPDATE: I called the engineering department and they came in and reprogrammed my TV and I now have cable. I get to watch "the Dog Whisperer" and all of my favorite animal shows! Yippee!

My primary doctor/surgeon came in to see me and I hadn't seen him the entire time I have been here. He looked at my nephostomy tubes, the sore, and my picc line and we talked for a little while as he explained that I may get to go home Thursday or Friday. Now I won't be able to eat or drink anything for at least another 2 weeks while my bowels heal. Also my nephastomy bag will have to stay for at least a month. When I return for my follow up appointment dye will be inserted into my kidney to find out where the block or what is causing it. I will be able to hopefully get a stint. Prayers needed that this nephastomy is not permanent. It could be permanent if there is no way to insert a stint. The block could be from the cancer, stitches from the surgery, or scar tissue. Not sure yet but we will find out.

I will have to go home with the picc line and the feeding bag also. A nurse will have to come by daily to change that and the fluids. I would also need to be hooked up to my feeding tube for 20 hours of the day and be shown how to care for everything. My doctor told me that he has total confidence that my husband and I can handle all of this. My honey is going to be taking the Family Medical Leave Act in order to take care of me. I know I can get through this and besides I will have drugs to help me with the pain in my stomach. I can only get stronger and I can definately feel it. I have more energy and it doesn't seem feasible to continue to stay in the hospital when I can easily move around and not have the fevers and infections!) I get to go home soon!!!!)

Well of course my honey would come and visit with me today. We had a nice nap on the bed together; he forgot his phone and had to drag Miss Blue Belle in this evening to see me and that certainly cheered me up and hope it will you as well! Here's to more doggie therapy!)


Tracey said...

What a shit Brutus is... stealing your mechanical pencil!! it was obviously so nice they felt the need to steal off a poorly lady!! makes my blood boil that does..

Hopefully you'll get all your channels back too.. i'd ask a nice nurse to move me where i can get them!! surely as the nurses have legs they could soon walk to you if they're needed ;-)

Thinking of you constantly lovely.. chin up and be strong xxx

nat said...

I'm glad you got the tv situation worked out! I'm also glad you got your book back. Textbooks are so expensive!

Are they going to stitch up that hole in your belly - or do they want it to heal on its own? It just looks so wide and deep. :(

Shopping Kharma said...

Thanks so much! Well for now it's going to have to heal up by its lonesome. It will be OK; it may not look much like it but it's looking better and better each day. It might take a few weeks but it will eventually close up and make a funky looking scab. I have so many scars!) They can call me scar tummy!)

TC said...

STUPID Brutus, great you feel like doing homework.
Hope you do get to go home this week.
Glad everything is going better, you will be able to handle it all I know.

l'optimiste said...

good - you have more TV, your book, and the wound is healing. I agree with Nat, to me it looks big? Maybe it's the pic angle?

I wouldn't worry about the pencil...maybe it fell, rolled away and a really NICE person found it ;o)

I have beautiful weather here in Porto - sending you lots of thoughts of sunny beaches!

get well

Chris Dann said...

having been in hospital two years and with the NHS in the UK I have developed ways of getting what I want.

So don't just let them take your 50 channels away stick your neck out and make sure you get what you want, just remember that it's another day at work for them but its most definitely not for us.

Movie & TV Show Preview Widget


My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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