WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What's with Disability? and more...

Well today is Tuesday, and I got a letter yesterday from Disability. I have been on Disability since August 18th and I filed that very same day, filled out some forms and even had my doctor fill in some blanks. I got everything approved with my job and now another bump in the road.

I specifically remember filling out a portion of the application that NO I will not be incarcerated during this time and yes, sometimes the chemo can make you feel like your are incarcerated or want to be incarcerated (instead) because you don't feel like doing anything. But its not the same!

I got a letter from EDD that I am to call and answer a question a second time. I guess they just want to make extra sure that I wasn't incarcerated during this time.

Here is the question verbatim:

Ok well, I did violate quite a few smoothies, tried with no success to eat regular food, but it is just too painful to digest. I am still trying to eat regular foods that seem like it would be easy to digest because I am so hungry. I am working through the pain of digestion, but I don't think that counts or does it? Maybe I was being too violent when I slurped down my last smoothie. I just never feel violent at all after I smoke some cannabis to help me digest with less pain. I just feel so happy and exactly the opposite. I smile, I laugh, and I feel quite friendly as well.


Well I finally got on the line (after a very long 15 minute hold) with a very nice man who is also a 2 cancer survivor and he said my check will be in the mail tomorrow for 21 days (after I answered the question that NO I was not incarcerated at all during this time). Not sure how much I will get but enough to help my husband pay some of the these bills. Thank god!

This always happens. Last year, I was on disability for just a month while I was hospitalized and it took over 3 months to get a check. I can't get over the state being that slow to pay the working poor when they really need the money.

Well last night was very hard for me to sleep; I started getting an abdominal blockage which was very painful and I couldn't sleep on my stomach because it was so swollen and it felt like I had a bunch of scrap rusty metal that I was trying to digest (it felt like I had a dead weight in my stomach). I woke up and smoked some hash and then drank 2 glasses of prune juice and Miralax. My mouth was so cottony dry from the Hash that I drank those glasses up pretty fast at 2:15am. By 4 am the blockage was finally starting to clear and I was going number 2 every 1/2 hour or so.

My stomach feels a little sore and a bit beat up but nothing a little POT can't fix. It's definitely the chemo pill getting to my system. I have 8 more chemo pills to take in this session and I will have a chemo infusion of the Avastin next week. I have hit the days where I will wake up feeling like I was in a bar fight the night before. Here's to getting through the next 8 days!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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