WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Was I Wrong? It's all about the cat.....

I called the Silicon Valley Humane Society yesterday around 3:30pm completely nervous and on the verge of tears. My heart was just ready to stop at any moment. I still feel completely guilty for having to relinguish my beloved pet, but it was for his own good. Right now, he really needs some special care that I am unable to provide him with.

In addition to all the care that he requires, he needs to have his bottom cleaned several times a day (he had a sex change operation due to Cystitus) from the crystals that still form in his urine. He is also over weight and I had tried for years to get him to loose weight with no success. He also needs to be the only pet in the household because of his extreme jealously issues.

He was also very angry that we had even brought home a dog several years ago. It was stressful for all of us that he peeed in the house. We would get mad at him for peeing in the house, by yelling at him and sometimes regretfully popping him on the butt which is completely wrong.

We would always feel guilty and for a right reason after our anger would get the best of us. He would continue to pee in the house and in front of the TV and even just in front of us and it was no way to live. I need to reduce stress for me, not create it.

We also had to make sure that we put a tarp on our bed each and every day or he would jump up on the bed and accidentally pee on the bed. He didn't mean to pee on the bed, he just leaked most of the time due to his operation. He leaked pretty much every where and it was very stressful for all of us that our house smelled just like a litter box no matter how much we tried to clean it up. Its just starting to smell like a house again now that he is no longer in the house.

It was time to do the right thing for him and believe me, we thought of many ideas for solutions just so that we could keep him. I even considered getting a kitty cage for him but the weight issue was the hardest. I couldn't for the life of me get him to loose a third of his weight. Cats are hard like that especially when they get up in years. I couldn't get him to loose weight to save my life or his!

I had just found out that he passed his health examination for which were not at all prepared for! When I dropped him off, the girl at the front desk nearly assured me that he would not suffer anymore. More than likely if he was in pain for which I was extremely convinced that he was; he would be humanely euthanized. I pretty much assumed it and my heart nearly stopped as I was awaiting to find out about Animal#62767.

After he passed his health examination, the doctors felt they could help improve his cystitus disorder. He is on a different form of antibiotics, a different diet (Hills CD diet), an exercise program, and is currently being tested for any behavior flaws which might jeopardize his potential adoption. He now has a chance now at a new life as a senior. The Silicon Valley Humane Society is giving Toonces (Animal ID# 62767) a chance to loose weight, a new diet, and a new home. This cheered me up for once on September 11th. What a great way to end my day as I was saddened as well about September 11th.

Here he is just after I had finished my first round of chemo (Taxol and Carboplatinum). You can see my hair just starting to come back.

He helped me so much through out my initial diagnosis. I will never forget him and I hope someone gives him the best home he could ever ask for. He deserves so much and I feel bad that I couldn't offer that for him but it was the best thing for him and for me. We already have a cat and a dog which is plenty for us to take care of.

The other two (Blue Belle and Tonto) are doing just fine now. I have been walking Tonto several times a day with Blue Belle because he doesn't quite like being in the house alone just yet. He has to loose a third of his weight too and I feel that it will be easier for me to get him to loose weight now. Tonto also used to go and try to eat Toonces food once Toonces would leave his bowl and I think this helped contribute to more weight. Both animals are just now accepting that Toonces is gone.

It really was stressful for both of them when ever Toonces was bad and peeed in the house. They would hide when ever we got mad at him and sometimes when Toonces would squat to pee, you could see both of them hide as if they were the ones peeing in the house. In all, I feel a huge weight has been lifted of my back and I'm really happy that Toonces gets another chance. I am still working on the article in the Good Kharma Newsletter with a huge spread on Toonces the Driving Cat!

Hair Falling Out Slowly

I am just noticing that my hair is starting to thin a little more each day. I still have hair legs but it looks a little like my hair in all places is starting to thin a little more. In the shower a significant amount came out in my hand this morning. I knew I had to face this soon and I'm still thankful for so much! Its really not a big deal and I'm still the beautiful person I am inside as my loving husband continues to assure me.

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1 comment:

Nilz said...

It is always sad to give up your pet; but it times we are all helpless.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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