Despite a very devastating day.....

Rest in Peace "Old Toonces". I certainly will miss this old Man. He was the dominant force in our household all these years.

Toonce the Poonce! R.I.P.
6/98 - 9/9/08

I had to make a very hard, hard decision yesterday to put this old man to sleep. I took him to the Silicon Valley Humane Society so that he could have a least a chance at a new home. It just wasn't fair for me to keep him if I can't give him the care that he needs. The girl that I spoke with, thought too that he might be suffering in pain.

The good thing is, that he isn't suffering anymore and its a shame that this form of humanity isn't performed on more patients who are miserably suffering in pain. Some people and animals are ready for their next journey and they certainly have a right to keep their dignity and to end their suffering. What are we to say, what is best for them when they feel it in their hearts?

This old guy is no longer suffering and I miss him so. I just wrote a really long good article in the Good Kharma Newsletter which is due out September 21st. A tribute to this old fellow for whom I will never ever forget and I'm sure so many others who have met him before won't. Rest in Peace Old Man!

I was able to go and get my Etoposide pills yesterday and took one last night. I smoked a bowl right after I started to feel nauseated and that nasty metal taste started coming up and hurting my throat. I no longer feel it and am able to drink some more water, cranberry, and MyraLax.

I also had a friend from work call me to let me know that everyone is thinking of me and that they are wishing for a full recovery for me. It does make me feel good that others are thinking of me so positively. I have others that tell me that I inspire them and I'm glad that I do! The better others feel about the life, the better I feel. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, just feel happy for what you do have and I assure anyone that I am happy for all that I have (not the cancer), but all the wonderful people and animals in my life that make me feel better.

RESULTS OF MY DOCTOR VISIT (Today at noon)

My husband and I walked hand in hand to see my oncologists today. He had some very good news for us to hear and what we so desperately needed to hear.
The chemo is working so far, so good. My CA125 was at 77 just prior to the chemo treatments and on August 28th, it was at 35. (These results were from the last blood test)
On September 2nd, I had a treatment of Avastin and yesterday, September 8th, I had my 1st Chemo pill of Etoposide to start my 2 weeks on, 1 week off. Before my next treatment of Avastin, I will get another blood test to see if the chemo has knocked the cancer count down some more!

We also looked at my most recent x-ray to find out if he thought that I would require another colonoscopy due to the blood in my recent fecal sample (I get to loose all dignity here). He showed us the x-ray to prove that most everyone has an intestine which handles digesting food much like and accordion; however mine is much different, just as everyone else's bends around in so many ways, mine takes a long time to move things around. The tumors blocked the movements needed for my intestines to actually digest foods. The simple foods like the smoothies are easier for my system to digest so I will have to continue to keep it simple. Just can't eat all that I want right now, but I am still alive! We can travel if we want to but we must be careful. I personally don't wish to fly without my pain meds for fear of the severe pain and of getting arrested for having to alleviate my pain. True I don't pose a danger to anyone, but government bureaucracy poses a serious danger for me. For now, my family will have to visit us.