WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Not another night!(

Well, I am one step closer to going home. Just to warn you I do some very graphic photos which will continue to label this blog as Adult and only caring eyes shall see. I am posting these graphics in hopes that you will look within yourself and be thankful for what you do have.

Please don't me wrong, I'm still so very grateful to bealive, to be able walk around; even though I haven't left this place; I'm still, very, very grateful.

I have a very hot husband who I am so honored to be a part of his life and to be married to him. It's doesn't seem like 6 and half years yet for we still feel like newlyweds.

This photo here is of my stomach with the staples. See the staples are due to come out later on today and I hope to get a photo of them taking them out as well. Should be very interesting indeed. Now these little JP tubes thinky's - only 1 of 2 will be coming out today along with the staples and I'm kinda bummed that it doesn't come out and I may have to deal with it at home. You can actually see the hole where the other 3rd JP once was was. Pretty eerie huh?

This particular JP will get to come out today even though there is some fluids still coming; this clear fluid is OK. The other one we are worried that this lymph fluid which is kind of milky is coming out of the other one and we have to watch it carefly.

These JP things so got on my nerves in the worst way. I miss my underwear so much and having to wear these stupid gowns. I have to tape them shut to go out for a walk. I forgot last night to take the tape off and all of a sudden I felt a horrid pinch on my pubes and dog gone it I have a JP just situtated right there on it and then a piece of tape just stuch there on my pubes and JP tube. How freaking annoying is that? I go to reach to pull that stupid JP on my crotch and it is taped there. It's like god played a trick on me! I had to carefully pull the tape out and it was mangled in my crotch /pubes and on the stupid (one that's staying). I can laugh about this now but at the moment it seriously pissed me off. I hope you are too!)

Anyway tomorrow is my new tenative date for going home; sleeping in my own bed, finally seeing Tonto who I hear really, really, really misses me. He's been crying himself to sleep at night and really cries when my honey is on the phone with me!) So lots of prayers that I get better and hopefully go home tomorrow! Hopefully just this last night in this aweful hospital bed!)


Theresa said...

Good luck with getting the staples out! Cant wait for more pictures of your experience.
I love following your blog and have to say i look at it several time a day for updates. I get excited to find another entry waiting for me when I come to visit, lol.

I hope you get to go home tomorrow!! I hated being in the hospital and it was only a few days, I couldn't imagine the stay you have had to deal with.

It looks like at the top of your stapling it is still opened up. Is it, or not? Couldn't imagine why they would leave it opened up like that at the top and have everything else look so good and closed up. So thought I would ask.

Good luck with everything and it looks like and sounds like you are doing pretty good, which i am happy for.

Cant wait for the update and for you to GO HOME!!!

love ya, take care of yourself.

ShoppingKharma said...

AWWWWWWWW! Thank you so much Theresa!) Lots of love to you too! They still have not removed those staples yet, but am anxiously waiting. I know it's not going to be so pain free for removal! I will try to photograph with my iPhone.

ShoppingKharma said...

I forgot to answer the one question. It appears that at the top there is this huge gaping hole where those staples are but what is wierd is that there is this dried blood scab just directly underneath and there was some fat believe it or not which helped heal and hold me together. I am now being held together with surgical tape thingies!)

l'optimiste said...

eek! Those photos! I was going to ask exactly what Theresa asked, so I am relieved that you answered already.

And YES it does make me VERY grateful for my little scar [which I thought was BIG] being so little...and I'm hoping you are home as I type this! Off to see the next episode...

you're so brave.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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