WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

What is really inside the heart of cancer survivor?

Most of the thoughts that run through your head when first getting diagnosed with advanced cancer, given a specified time of survival, is why me? I have to be honest I did for a while and in many ways, I felt well maybe I deserved to be. I'm not perfect in any way but I hope to improve myself as a person. Many have a sense of hopelessness when faced with this grim reality.

In reality, no one really deserves to go through such pain and suffering and it is pain and suffering to have to go through numerous surgeries, chemotherapies, radiation; all the medical methods offered here in the United States. We don't have the best methods, & we certainly don't have the funding to beat cancer. Don't get me wrong, there are so many great advances going on that I can't even begin to tell.
I work for an amazing company with amazing scientists who are dedicated to finding cures and or treatments for many diseases. Me coming to work each day puts a face into what they are doing.

In order to survive cancer; you have to have hope in your heart that you can beat it. If you feel you will die from the cancer, you will. I saw this just working in a vet's office. Animals have this sense about them that if they don't feel well, or they know something is seriously wrong with them, most will crawl and hide somewhere just to die. Some people have this about them as well. They get the diagnosis and they just give up hope.

To be quite honest, I don't have it in me yet to just give up. In fact I know I don't. I have gotten close to the other side on numerous occasions and it just isn't time yet. What made me much stronger, was my loving husband by my side. He picked me up so many times when I felt I was loosing hope. He helped me realize so many things and most of all a purpose.

I feel strongly that I have a purpose in helping others to beat this disease. I am doing something right to have survived this long with odds against me. Not all cancer is the same, some can be more aggressive, some slow growing while being hard to get rid of, and some just appear out of no where as it had been dormant for sometime. Either way you look at it, its all different, much like our DNA. We all have a way of fighting it within our bodies.

We don't get cancer, because we did something bad. I have heard Cancer being called, the nice person's disease. Most nice people end up getting cancer. It could be that they care about others more than they care for themselves. We just haven't quite figured that out.

I have just learned to live with my cancer and I might just make it miserable in the ways that I take care of myself, utilizing nutrition, diet, exercise, yoga, and even meditation. I like to think that I do make it miserable. Positive thoughts can get you far in life and that's one thing that cancer has taught me. Utilize your mind as it is powerful and can help you win this tough battle. Scientists are just beginning to understand the power of the mind. If you are going to fight this battle, I hope you will check out my Cancer Support Page as I plan to update it often.



Nadine said...

My thoughts are with you. You have a very good outlook, you're handling this well. Maybe this is a good day, and I wish you more good.

Anonymous said...

You really pull me close as I read your posts. It is so amazing how you don't complain about your condition. Many of us take life for granted and complain about the most simple things. You just learn to accept your condition and learn to live with it positively. I am so glad I have made my way here. You really are helping me to bring my situations into a more positive perspective. =)


An amazing and heartfelt post. I think you are way ahead than most in mind over body. I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you.

ShoppingKharma said...

Wow Thank you! I can't believe I accomplished this in my posting. That's exactly what I want others to learn from my experience. Where does it get you when you complain except annoying others. Aren't complainers annoying? What about those who take that half full glass of water and make lemonade with it?

Majestic said...

Very nice write up. One thing really sticks out is the complaining part you mentioned. Maybe we should campaign for a "CFW" - complaint free world!!!

Hanafi Ismail said...

You really do handle your health situation very well,but still nobody knows what really is there deep down in your heart.People can only share with you what they see and what they hear,my deepest thought for you and wishing you well.I have lost a cousin in 2004,and my sister in law just last week to ovarian and breast cancer..Seeing them suffer made me feel deeply for you and your husband.Be strong.

Virtuous Blue said...

Your spirit shines through this post. I wish all those diagnosed with cancer had the opporunity to read this post and experience your beauty. I think you're great, with an amazing outlook on life.

Teneasha (VB)

Petula Wright said...

I think it is good that you are dealing with this so positively. I'm sure you have some bad days, but I think the fight is somewhat easier when you can face it with a good outlook. God bless you.

Psiplex said...

You are correct that the will to live and the determination to fight is everything. Your family and medical team can do so much, but it is up to the individual to fight the daily battles. Just happened upon your site and it is wonderful!

You can check out my views on battling cancer at:

I discuss staying creative in complexity- what folks can do to remain creative wile dealing with cancer.

Movie & TV Show Preview Widget


My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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