Bagless and Loving it!

Well the thought I am thinking now is "wow! What an amazing cat I have!". I just took him and Blue Belle out for a walk this evening (after it had just gotten dark) and I ran into my neighbor (Belle's best friend Tess's mom). Anyway, Tonto is just walking along and then sees my neighbor and goes into stuck up mode (but it's really shy mode, he just makes it seem like stuck up mode). I had to hold him just for a little while and then I put him back on the ground in order to massage his neck while Tess tried to give him kisses. I kinda shielded him a little because I could really tell that he really wanted to bitch slap Tess more than anything but the massage made him happy enough to not want to; he was content for the moment. After she would have enough of trying to kiss Tonto; she would go back to Blue Belle for kisses. I wasn't able to get any shots of Tess tonight since she was moving to fast for the flash but I did get these few of Blue Belle and Tonto.

So then Blue Belle and Tess ran around for a little bit and it was a little dark but I still brought my camera to capture some shots. Forgive this shot; I didn't realize he was peeing but he does this from time to time and I suppose it helps out my honey in having to clean out the cat box. He actually goes nuts the entire time that I or my husband takes him out on walks. He wants to go too and it seems with all the screaming and crying he has been making; he would rather be an outdoor cat. I don't know exactly what I have created; he's very chubby and can not eat any more than he does during the day; not even sure what he gets from the neighbors on either side of the fence since he can make them think that I starve him to death but he doesn't look at all like he is starved to death.

I can't let him out with out a leash in the big wide world or he would get diseases from the farrow cats; I know he would kill quite a few birds, mice, rats, squirrels, and other small rodents to add to his growing girth. He could also get hit by a car or hurt by raccoons that sometimes roam the streets at night. He talks to me quite a bit and sometimes I go nutty and talk right back to him; telling him that there is no way he going to be an outdoor kitty. He needs to be happy for what he already has; Blue Belle lives in the moment and is always fascinated with right now but Tonto holds grudges sometimes and isn't always pleased with what is going on right now; only sometimes when he plays with his toys or is eating or walking outside on his leash. He isn't too happy about the leash but he is a good sport about it. It's the best I can do so that he can go outside to play. Sorry to go on and on about my kitty but he did make me laugh and stress free for part of the day and a lot of the time that I get to spend with him. He is an excellent stress reducer. Well Blue Belle does the same for me in different ways in that she gets to go with me on special errands around town.

I have an appointment with my Chemo doctor on Monday at 3:30pm and I will be getting him to fill out some paperwork for the Clearity Foundation as well as the Business Office. The found is is also an Ovarian Cancer Survivor and I know she believes in me after reading my blog. I wrote her an email after a dear of friend of mine gave me the link to her website. I was so inspired by all the questions she asked of my disease (it was all the right questions as if she wanted to get something done to cure me). She sure gave me a lot of hope and inspiration especially after reading her website. I would love to raise money for her organization as well since her organization does so much for other Ovarian Cancer Survivors. I want to be healed; not treated and then left to die. I do have lots of fight left in me and I would love to be on a chemo drug that really worked; not some guess.

Well here I am drinking some liquid chemo (red cabbage, spinach, carrots, and some bean sprout juice). I juiced this one on my own with my Jack LaLanne Juicer! Yum, yum! I'm also drinking a glass of carrot juice, and 2 servings of Evolution Brand Essential Greens, and Carrot, Beet, and Celery. I drink 1 bottle per day, and now I am having Oatmeal and Flax for breakfast with a glass of orange and carrot juice. I try to eat through out the day; since Goat Milk is considered to have more alkaline properties; I mix with Dairy and a scoop of whey protein and then have that with some ginger cookies or bread. I just got off the TPN just days ago (Wednesday), this is my 2nd day off the juice! I am maintaining my weight so far and am still above 120lbs. Yippee! I am now bagless! So Yes, that's the big news! I'm off the feedbag for right now! I will have to maintain my weight and eat like a pig for right now. I'm trying by getting the munchies as much as possible.

Although lately I have been suffering from some pretty bad intestinal pain; I have been having to take pain medication but it's the worst kind of pain. It feels as if my intestines are coming out of my butthole. Why must I get these undignified types of pain that is so embarrassing to tell anyone when they say; "how are you feeling" or "how are you doing?". "Well to be quite honest, my asshole hurts like fuck, why do you ask?" No I do not tell anyone this, my main answer to everything; I'm that little kitten that's just hanging in there. I always think that everytime I answer. I'm dealing with pain in any way that I can and I'm surviving the impossible. The pain is worth tolerating for this life!

All those who help me; are kind to me, love me, and are just there for me; make that butthole pain all the more worth putting up with!) It's just temporary pains sometimes and it sucks that it occurs while I am shitting (Oh god is that a good thing because abdominal blocks are damn shitty to have to deal with!(. OH GOD do they suck and at least I'm going; granted it's painful and pain pills work like a charm. The intestinal pains and spasms only occur when I am going and its almost like aftershocks sometimes. I have to do the sitz bath each time and I always worry about these episodes each time I go out. Sometimes I accidentally over do it and end up on the couch for a while just resting and getting over the pain, but other times it just goes away and life is able to go on.

I usually don't like to write about events before they happen but I do have a surprise post for Sunday; I will be busy on Saturday and that's all I can say. I can't jinx myself at all because I really want this dream of mine to come true. It seems every time I plan something and then say something about it; I get jinxed and end up in the hospital or somehow unable to go. Its kind of the Missouri thing in me where I don't believe something happens until it actually happens; so please be in for a surprise on Sunday when I post next. Peace and love to all!

Oh Congrats to my favorite president today! He won the Nobel Peace Prize and I'm so happy for him. He's so very humble about it but I do believe he has made great strides in making peace with the rest of the world. I'm so very proud of him!