WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Day in History...

Today was my first day back at work and of course today we also got a brand new president; one we can really be proud of and even inspired by. I know this because I honestly am very, very proud of him and he has really inspired me. I now know that anything can be possible; even a cure for cancer!) I have so much hope in my heart that he is finally going to do good for the rest of us; not just the extremely wealthy, but the rest of us.
What can I say, I'm proud to be an American right now!)

I feel just like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders because I have to admit that I have been worrying about so many who are not doing so well right now; some are loosing their homes, their jobs, not having any affordable health care (even those who are diagnosed with serious diseases), seniors who are living without so much (while they have lived a full life, they still have to struggle for the rest of their lives), while the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.

We really need hope right now (fear just doesn't cut it) that things will get better for all of us. I know I should be worrying about my own health, but I just can't help but worry about others too.

I do feel incredibly privileged that I have survived this long with this horrible disease and that I actually got to witness history in the making; something that I thought I would never ever see in my lifetime. It just seemed so impossible. We even had our first woman running for President and she did incredibly well, although now we have an African American for our President and of course I did not just vote for him because of his skin color; that had absolutely nothing to do with why I voted for him; honestly. So many feel that most of us voted for him just because of his skin color.

I honestly really admired this young man immensely; mostly because of his strength and his inspiration. He worked hard and he put himself through school himself and he even graduated at the top of his class. That is something that I can really relate to and appreciate. There is nothing wrong with loving parents who put their children through school and college but it really says a lot about character when that child doesn't have those resources and utilizes what most usually don't care to.

I watched what could have been a serious struggle in watching so many who are unable to embrace change; they just continue to be racist with out even knowing what is in someone's heart. How can anyone live through life, feel good about themselves when they are unable to listen or just give someone else a chance?

Is this other person's life even worth giving them a chance? That's exactly how I look at it. How could anyone not give someone a chance because of their appearance and not even listening to what this person has to say? What if they teach you something important about life that you never knew? What if you have more in common with this person than you ever could have imagined? What if this person really is a good person and helps save lives, or helps others who really do need it, or just has a very incredibly interesting life? Heart and Soul.

OK, enough with the politics. Honestly how am I doing right now and how is it for me being back at work? Am I actually stronger just 1 week ago today being released from the hospital?

Well, I still feel great even though I am kinda sorta not able to fully eat a real diet. I'm still doing soups, protein shakes, Ensures; trying to squeeze in some foods like steamed veggies, a sandwich, a piece of a brownie or a cookie (I tried).

I am blessed to have the strength that I was able to go on a long walk around the Bay and that was such a gift! It was such a beautiful day (77 degrees) and to not be able to drink coffee was no big deal because that walk was all the I needed to wake up. (yeah I was feeling like a nap towards the middle of the day). I am still weak from loosing some weight and not being able to eat fully but I'm not suffering in pain. I do have to break down my meals but in all my system seems to be working more and more each day.

It was cool that I got to go to the bathroom at least 30-40 times through out the day (that's what a liquid diet will do for you). Hey at least I was going! I sure know what its like to not be able to go!)

Now loosing weight does have its advantages and being skinny and trying on tiny clothes that actually fit? Wow! There are some downsides to being too skinny. My butt fell down and right now its having problems getting back where it was, and oh my tits too! Don't get me started. I do love my body no matter what; its gotten me this far and I just can't not love it even though I get disappointed sometimes over my health. I do have plenty of good days and yes today was a good day!

Now I did try on most of my pants and many unfortunately look as if I have a number 2 (poopie) hanging in the back there. It really looks like Frumpity, frump, frump, frump, frump!)

Don't get me wrong, I love to go number 2 and it's a great day if do and yeah today was a very good day for me in that department! It's a different thing if you wear pants that make you look as if you have a load going on back there. Go ahead and laugh at these. I did find some pants to wear and they barely fit. This is just 1 pair to give you an example.

I have been on this yo yo diet for a few years now and I literally go through all of the sizes from size 12 down to size 1. Well now I am about a size 2 or 3; pretty tiny for someone as large boned as myself. I look much better with meat on bones, but you really have to pay attention and try not to wear pants that make your butt look like you have some poopie just hanging around back there. Not a good look but at least I can laugh at my poopie pants!) I have 9 pairs of poopie pants right now and even a pair of brown ones!)

I just have 1 more day to find some pants that fit and on Friday, I already have some great jeans that actually fit pretty good for right now (at least when they come out of the dryer). Real skinny pants and I'm washing those tonight!

I also have Yoga class tomorrow for which I am very excited about. I will update as soon as I can on how that goes!)


RGB said...

Frumpity, frump, frump ;) You rock, babe.

TC said...

I know it's not a good way to lose weight but I bet you look fine in your pants, doesn't look so much like a # 2 as a little butt. Just tell yourself that!
I'm also glad for the new president and worried about so many not having any money right now. My job whichever one I go with depends on people spending and if they are just buying groceries and necessities which is what they SHOULD be doing cuts down on jobs and it's a vicious circle. Have a good week!

~*~ Badet ~*~ said...

I'm from the Philippines and I adore Obama. I hope he really can bring change. =)

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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