Life for me outside of the hospital has been everything a miracle is meant to be. I actually feel as if I survived quite possibly the impossible; once again!). It's a miracle to be alive and it's also quite the miracle that I didn't have to have another surgery just yet!
To say that I am grateful to be out and to get this second chance is a major understatement. I have to be honest; I was actually puzzled being in there possibly facing another major abdominal surgery. It was shocking to hear that I might need to be opened up once again. This was much more different than the usual abdominal blockages which are most often fixed with the good old roto rooter method. It was so scary to hear that I might actually need that surgery, but it was so soothing to hear that I made it through with out needing one for right now. I know I have said this hundreds of times, but my key to life is right now and how very grateful I am to have all of these moments.
I don't like to reflect too much in the past, but sometimes I can't help it. Reflecting on this hospital experience has been incredibly surreal and I'm thankful to have made it out. I was actually worried for just a little while that my dreams of having a home in the woods where where I could actually rescue horses or other animals in need wouldn't come true and that may be heaven for me would be that Thomas Kincade painting of a house in the woods away from most civilization; in nature. This is the image I saw of my dream house where I could rescue horses formally in the HRT business. What a dream that is and I can wish that one day it will come true.
We always long for more in life and I'm happy anyway just being able to experience more fun with my husband, friends and family. I will still have those dreams of us living out on range together and away from the city life and the peaceful country life on the farm.
On Saturday, my husband and I went on bike ride on his Dyna Street Bob and his good friend had just gotten his custom Harley Sportster. Not sure what kind but it looked more like a racing bike than what most Harley's appear like.
We had a nice soothing ride up Hwy 9 into Ben Lomand. It just felt great & incredibly exhilarating to be outside in the wonderful weather and to feel the wind hitting my face while looking all around me.
I even saw some nice peaceful little farms with horses, goats, and even cattle where it would be an absolute heaven to live. It really was a gorgeous ride as we get to go on another ride on Monday (the day before we get a real President).
We got home a little after 5:30pm and I was already tired for a nap. I haven't been getting frustrated at myself anymore for getting tired easily and am mostly grateful that my body is able to handle doing a few fun things through out the day. I do get tired closer to the end of the day but I am still very, very grateful to be able to climb into my own bed for a peaceful nap.
One thing that has been helping me with stress is avoiding the news. I made a pact not to watch the news this week and to just focus on getting better. Life really does go on and we have to cherish what we have right now without worrying for the sake of worrying.
I am also very thankful to have the strength to be able to go outside and to take my beloved dog on a walk. What a gift! Whewhooo! No more chemo for right now!
HEALTH UPDATE: So how am I feeling? Well, my bowels are still kinda sorta working and I am able to eat some things but not without some sort of pain sad to say. At least I'm alive and I'm not in the hospital! The first 3 days out of the hospital was a bit nerve wracking in that I wasn't able to go to the bathroom; so I laid off eating anything solid until I went. I doubled up on the Miralax and from then on it was just Ensures and more fluids. We even called the doctor to see what else to do.
Finally day four, I was able to go and go i did! Lately, I have been getting lots of heart burn when ever I do eat anything; even if its just soup. I'm still on antibiotics; avoiding dairy products, no coffee, no complex items to digest, trying to stay out of direct sunlight, skin and bones (123lbs) and more. I still do my yoga twice a day to help aid in digestion and every once in a while if the pain gets to be too much, I utilize my vaporizer which always tends to work in these situations and thank god for that natural plant and that I'm in CA!).
I have go to see my doctor on Thursday to see how our progress and or next steps will be. We will see!)
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