WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A bike ride and long walks...

Life for me outside of the hospital has been everything a miracle is meant to be. I actually feel as if I survived quite possibly the impossible; once again!). It's a miracle to be alive and it's also quite the miracle that I didn't have to have another surgery just yet!

To say that I am grateful to be out and to get this second chance is a major understatement.
I have to be honest; I was actually puzzled being in there possibly facing another major abdominal surgery. It was shocking to hear that I might need to be opened up once again. This was much more different than the usual abdominal blockages which are most often fixed with the good old roto rooter method. It was so scary to hear that I might actually need that surgery, but it was so soothing to hear that I made it through with out needing one for right now. I know I have said this hundreds of times, but my key to life is right now and how very grateful I am to have all of these moments.

I don't like to reflect too much in the past, but sometimes I can't help it. Reflecting on this hospital experience has been incredibly surreal and I'm thankful to have made it out. I was actually worried for just a little while that my dreams of having a home in the woods where where I could actually rescue horses or other animals in need wouldn't come true and that may be heaven for me would be that Thomas Kincade painting of a house in the woods away from most civilization; in nature. This is the image I saw of my dream house where I could rescue horses formally in the HRT business. What a dream that is and I can wish that one day it will come true.


We always long for more in life and I'm happy anyway just being able to experience more fun with my husband, friends and family.
I will still have those dreams of us living out on range together and away from the city life and the peaceful country life on the farm.

On Saturday, my husband and I went on bike ride on his Dyna Street Bob and his good friend had just gotten his custom Harley Sportster. Not sure what kind but it looked more like a racing bike than what most Harley's appear like.

We had a nice soothing ride up Hwy 9 into
Ben Lomand. It just felt great & incredibly exhilarating to be outside in the wonderful weather and to feel the wind hitting my face while looking all around me.

I even saw some nice peaceful little farms with horses, goats, and even cattle where it would be an absolute heaven to live.
It really was a gorgeous ride as we get to go on another ride on Monday (the day before we get a real President).

We got home a little after 5:30pm and I was already tired for a nap. I haven't been getting frustrated at myself anymore for getting tired easily and am mostly grateful that my body is able to handle doing a few fun things through out the day. I do get tired closer to the end of the day but I am still very, very grateful to be able to climb into my own bed for a peaceful nap.

One thing that has been helping me with stress is avoiding the news. I made a pact not to watch the news this week and to just focus on getting better.
Life really does go on and we have to cherish what we have right now without worrying for the sake of worrying.

I am also very thankful to have the strength to be able to go outside and to take my beloved dog on a walk. What a gift! Whewhooo! No more chemo for right now!

HEALTH UPDATE: So how am I feeling? Well, my bowels are still kinda sorta working and I am able to eat some things but not without some sort of pain sad to say. At least I'm alive and I'm not in the hospital! The first 3 days out of the hospital was a bit nerve wracking in that I wasn't able to go to the bathroom; so I laid off eating anything solid until I went. I doubled up on the Miralax and from then on it was just Ensures and more fluids. We even called the doctor to see what else to do.

Finally day four, I was able to go and go i did! Lately, I have been getting lots of heart burn when ever I do eat anything; even if its just soup. I'm still on antibiotics; avoiding dairy products, no coffee, no complex items to digest, trying to stay out of direct sunlight, skin and bones (123lbs) and more. I still do my yoga twice a day to help aid in digestion and every once in a while if the pain gets to be too much, I utilize my vaporizer which always tends to work in these situations and thank god for that natural plant and that I'm in CA!).

I have go to see my doctor on Thursday to see how our progress and or next steps will be. We will see!)

9 comments:

Secondary Liver Cancer said...

Thanks CJ for dropping by.

"What you see in your mind, one day will be in your hand"

So keep on visualizing your ranch and horses!

Feel free one day to drop by again and comment your cancer story or how you are treating yourself or just anything that you think could be useful to share with our secondary liver cancer patients.

Hugs,

SK

Radica said...

I am sharing your fillings and hopes and similar cancer story...
Wish you the best!
Radica

Queenie said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. I wish you nothing but the best in your recovery. I am so envious that you get to go outside in sunny CA - it was -23 here in Maine last week but we are having a "heat wave" today - it's 19.

TC said...

In a former life I was a semi successful colored pencil artist, first large piece I ever did was for my son and was a copy of a Thomas Kincade like your house in the woods, keep visualizing and keep up enjoying every day. That's what keeps all of us going. Take care.

RGB said...

Hey crazy lady :) (it's Rick...Rick George...or RGB, which stands for Rick George, Bitch!) hehe Anyway, I was just catchin' up on your blogs. Talk to ya soon! Keep hangin' in there! Of course, you always do ;) I'm lovin' all this talk about farmland, horses, and stuff. Makes me miss Pauline, SC a lil' bit. I don't think I've mentioned this to ya, but even if you didn't have ovarian cancer, your personality is so beautiful that you'd still be an inspiration to others! Luv ya! Hope you and your husband are doin' well.

Secondary Liver Cancer said...

Hi CJ,

Meanwhile got a post featuring you and Miss Blue Belle ready the 26th.

With a few more questions for you :-)

Reply any time :-)

Thanks for sharing!

Gladys said...

I can not stress this enough. Laughter is the BEST medicine. I survived breast and uterine cancer. I lived to tell the tale. Live, laugh and love is not just a trite quote but my mantra.

Oh and if you want some tips on what will help you "go" email me I'll give you a plethera of home rememdies that will not interfer with any medications. :)

ShoppingKharma said...

Thanks so much Gladys and all of you! I do laugh and laugh I do!
Laughter really is the best medicine! I couldn't agree more! Hell I'm always cracking myself up!)

Still working on 2 more posts and still having fun! Went ice skating today and have a yoga/ meditation class later on today!

Not eating normal just yet, slowly gaining weight, but overall just enjoying life! Thank you all for your prayers, good vibes, and positive thoughts; they sure make me feel much better:o).
Love to all of you!

Ambrosia said...

I'm glad things are getting better for you. Even if it's at a slow pace, it's still getting better! I'm glad to hear you've been taking good care of yourself; it's hard to do when you're feeling bad, but it's so important.

Here's to you feeling better and better each day!

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Disclosure

My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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