WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Laughing at my sweet, sweet dog!

I just finished my first week at work and I'm very proud of myself. I had felt so guilty for having to miss another 2 weeks of work but I really couldn't help it. It just felt good to be able to accomplish at least this. Tuesday, a new President, then on Wednesday, I got to go ice skating during my lunch break which felt absolutely exhilarating. We only skated maybe 20-30 minutes, but the little bit of time we did spend skating was enough to energize me for the rest of the work day! To top it off, later that same day, I had my first Yoga class and let me tell you, it felt absolutely wonderful and really good for my soul.

In the beginning of the yoga class I was unable to get a deep breath into my diaphragm mostly because of my injury to my abdomen caused by the Avastin. It was frustrating but I felt the need to speak up when the teacher asked if everyone was able to get a deep breath. I kept trying through out the class to try to breath correctly and each time it seemed to take so much effort to do.

At least this being the first class also meant it would more than likely be the easiest of all the classes. Towards the end of the hour, we all lied on our backs and tryed to get more deep breaths; breathing in through our nose and then breath out with our mouth. I tried to imagine Blue Belle breathing in as I tried more and more to get the breath all the way in. Finally, towards the end of class; I watched as my stomach swelled with my breath; I had done it! I got my deep breath in!)

As the week wore on, I could almost feel myself getting stronger and stronger everyday even though I have only gained maybe 2 lbs since I got out of the hospital. I'm not able to eat too complex foods, but I was able to handle eating some South Indian Food on Thursday. The South Indian Food (North Indian is way too spicy for me) I was able to eat was mostly cooked and stewed vegetables which made it much easier for me to digest completely. My stomach actually felt great after eating as if this was finally something my system can work with!

Cute Blue Belle Story

When I got home from work today, I was just starting to feel the intense pain of that tumor implant area again. I was feeling really worried and bummed because it was intense pain. I actually thought I was getting better and now this. I tried my best not to worry about the pain and to get my mind off of it. I decided to try out a piece of brownie to see if this could help get rid of my pain. Just as the brownie was just starting to take effect, I had to take Miss Blue Belle out even though it was starting to hurt me just to walk.

Now most of you know just how Blue Belle really is a good, good girl, she passed a very sacred test for me tonight when I took her out for her 8ish pottie break.

Since it has been raining a lot; our front door has been sticking quite a bit so I decided to avoid going out the front door and just went out through the back and out the garage door. We walked out the garage the door and Miss Blue Belle went for the area where she always likes to squat down to pee. We were so focused on getting her out to pee that I forgot to close the garage door as we continued to walk around the complex. I then remembered that I forgot to close it so I immediately headed back within range to close it with my remote.

Since we live so close to the street, sometimes people on the street like to look for open garage doors in which to enter (at least according to the police blotter). Yes, its wise not to trust just anyone because break ins unfortunately happen in this neighborhood sometimes. Don't get me wrong; I do have some wonderful neighbors and we still have some drug problems around here and some gangs (maybe a block or two away).

When I closed the garage door, I didn't think anything of it and just headed back as if Blue Belle were following me. I walked around the pool and then once I got to the area where she normally likes to go number 2; she was no where to be seen.

One of my neighbors in the complex was walking around the corner and could tell the worry in my face. He knew of all my health problems and this was something I could have easily done with out. I told him I could not find Blue Belle. We both started looking and I didn't want to yell out her name and to worry others inside their homes (it was dark and just before 9pm). No I don't live in the country and I respect my neighbors' sanctity. My neighbor asked m if Blue Belle had ever ran away and of course she has never done this and we both thought perhaps she had decided to chase a squirrel or a cat; I guess I thought that could be possible. After a little while, he continued on to the hot tub for his soak and asked that I please let him know when I do find her.

I walked back to my garage and there sat Miss Blue Belle as if I had told her to sit and to stay. She was very patiently sitting there waiting for me to say "OK" for her to continue with me. Yes, she was waiting to hear that release word so she stayed. Perhaps she thought she heard "sit" and "stay" when the garage door was closing. I immediately started laughing and I went over to tell my neighbor that I had found her. We both cracked up as he told me in disbelief how loyal and obedient Miss Blue Belle is.

Now to enjoy all the best parts of Friday!)

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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