WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Handling an Abdominal Blockage at Home....

                                                                                This photo (if you look closely) is a very small illustration of my G-Tube that is sticking in my tummy (little white tube under the bandage).   The G-Tube its self is about 2 feet long; so imagine if you will that you have 2 feet of rubber tube sticking out of your stomach and the most important thing is to roll it up and tape to my stomach.  If not; it is very painful for it to be accidentally pulled out and then having to go in and get it inserted again.  Bet you didn't think you would already feel how lucky you are if you don't have that or even if you took a dumpers today!)  I'm already jealous of you; not for your looks but because of the common miracles that occur inside our bodies!

Photo number 2 is what my G-tube looks like when it is closed and bandaged up.  I took a video of what it's like to have my G-tube drain.  It's now posted down below (I have to clean the nasty bag as much 5 times a day.)  My sincere apologies for the quality; hopefully I can get a better quality one in the coming days. 

  Photo 3 shows my healing radiation burn; it's still pealing and bubbling,  and also very itchy;  before it was horrible red; about the color of a lobster or crab.  You can even see the drastic drop from my stomach to my pelvic area.  It's actually a huge surgical dip; isn't that a trip? and I'm still alive and kicking despite all that crap!).  I think the surgeons had run out of skin after all these surgeries to open me up and fix my intestines and scraping me free of cancer; well the tumors had been inoperable so I decided later on to just fry the fuckers with some good old radiation.  I even have what looks like a 2nd belly button!.  Very weird; I've lost my bikini body for good and you know what; I would still sport a bikini no matter what.  I have the strangest body ever and my honey still loves me and finds me very sexy?  I'm just a walking medical experiment!)

I guess it has been nearly a week and half since I was last able to go number 2 (officially); it is an real abdominal blockage which we could go to the hospital for to deal with there or do exactly what we have been doing. I have been keeping in contact with my Oncologist and he has been advising that I keep my G-Tube open. We would also decrease input which is anything going into my system.  Good news is that my Feeding Bag got reduced so it's not as heavy as the 16 hour bag; (I'm on the 12 hour bag).  It seems I am also hooked up to some sort of bag for my typical body functions.  I am so glad I'm not shitting in a bag just yet; although I am open to it just to keep me alive longer.  I'm really desperate to take a dumpers!  

So many greedy people are wishing for more money when they already have it; a private jet, a million dollar Yacht and I only wish to go number 2; that's all I ask for and hopefully it's not too much to ask for?  Just a little poopers GOD? that's all I want!)  And many of us want more than what we already have and yet they can't be happy for just that.  I have learned my lesson long ago with this disease; while it is true that I wished that I had normal working intestines and insides; but I still have hope they will one day soon work.  I sure hope something (nice perfect poo!) happens today or tomorrow?.

I'm also tired of being so incredibly hungry, light headed, dizzy, weak and most of all bony.   I'm so sick and tired of seeing FOOD commercials, FOOD shows, and DIET commercials?  WTF?   I'm now down to 106.5 and I'm 5-7.   I wished that I didn't have to wear so much tape on my body; I wish I could swim in our beautiful complex pool!  I wish I also could get in the hot tub or just take a normal shower.  That would be so freaking awesome!  I'm so sick of having to take shallow baths and using baby wipes to get myself clean!)  See all those little things in life that so many of us take for granted while wanting more and more material things; for me they make such a difference  and really are miracles for some of us!)  I only wish I could do all that stuff but I don't let it get me down too much because I still have so much to be thankful for. (the love of my life!)

I had been having horrible heart burn right in the sternum area and it will burn and feel as if I am having a serious heart attack.  OMG it was miserable!  I would be sleeping on the couch  most of the time with some pillows placed to keep my head up but somehow that gastric juice would just come right up my esophagus and it would still would hit me and make me feel as if I were drowning and in such horrible pain.  It burned my chest and sometimes I had to just hit my chest to try and rid myself of it.   Oh it was so miserable; because it seemed to last and last and last.   It would wake me up in the middle of the night with this pain and I would just sit up and try my best to get rid of it.   Most of the time I would set up my vaporizer and do all that and this would help for maybe several hours but it would eventually come back.   Since I hate to puke; I always try to avoid puking at all costs if possible; but it wasn't at all possible.  It was absolutely painful and then add on top of that I had the very worst vomiting fest ever.  Sometimes while I was vomiting it would feel as if I were about to drown; it's burning acid from my stomach coming up and some would even come out of my nose so I couldn't even breath!  OMG did that suck?!

Here is a video (please excuse the poor quality) but it should show what I am talking about when I mean draining my stomach.  I have the Catheter bag and the tube that goes into my stomach.  Hope this answers many questions.

  I was like that kid in "Detroit Rock City" where he had filled up an entire empty pitcher of beer which his drunken puke prior to going on stage to shake his "wee wee" in order to get him some Kiss Concert Tickets.   I filled up my puke bucket several times over about 4-5 miserable nights in a row.  After doing so I would then have violent fits of dry heaves which felt as if they were tearing my insides apart.  As soon as that hell ended; it was over for the night sometimes.

My husband and I were on edge and I was so incredibly defiant about going into the hospital.  "I just don't want to go!"  I would tell him and he would tell me; "I know that, but do you really feel that you need to go?".   I didn't know for sure, but I did know that I didn't want to go there, at all!  Surely there must be a way we can do this at home (unclog me).  At this point; it could very well be the end of my life and I DO NOT wish to die in a hospital with limited TV programming, censorship of anything pot related, yet the nurses and my doctors are behind me 110% with my medicine.  It's the only thing I have been able to use to combat the horrible nausea but the side effects are not so good.  I get so incredibly hungry (not allowed to eat) and thirsty.  

In those days proceeding up to this horrible blockage; I wasn't even eating all that much; maybe a few tablespoons of mashed potatoes, Brown Cow Whole Milk Yogurt, Boost, Ensure, and icky baby food and this would be just per day.  Now I only would 1 thing at a time per day and at night that's when the misery would come about.   Can you imagine just eating a few tablespoons of food per day?  That's about less than a bird. 

 Now I did a search looking and looking for G-Tube like mine and never found anything. So finally the internet has a real drainage G-tube.   Do other cancer patients also have problems with their stomachs and have to get things drained out?  Well I know I do and it's very freaking disgusting and only my sweet loving husband would find something attractive about me; he tells me that I am beautiful everyday and hearing this makes all the difference in me having a good day no matter what.

I promise to give updates soon! For now we are staying out of the hospital; I finally got a good night's sleep last night (1st one in days), the drainage is slowing down drastically and I just start ed farting which I haven't done in weeks!  You better believe I am treasuring those as a sign that my intestines will start to work and that my life is not done here yet! 

And here is the lovely young mare who needs a home!  Her name is Nutmeg and she was born in May 2007 and is a Tennessee Walking Horse.  Not sure how much her adoption fee is but she is gorgeous!  I would love to just hug and pet a horse like this; can you imagine?

UPDATE: I was able to squeeze out a few little bee bee nuggets today or what appeared to be little rabbit shits; hey it's better than nothing and I counted out about 5 little silent but deadlies!)  I know my prayers were kinda sorta answered; (anything that can get out is a miracle; so I'm happy with just that?) here's to the levees breaking and getting rid of what ever else is backed up in there!)    I'm going to get through this!)
Peace and Love to all of you!)

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Anonymous said...

jayne..my heart goes out to you, call me anytime day or night if you need to cry, talk or whatever i am here for you. love and hugs, amy

Aroma Fields said...

Jayne, this may sound funny to others but I was extremely glad to hear that you were able to fart. This means that the blockage is either not so bad or getting better. Way to go, girl!!

You asked if other cancer patients have ever had their stomach contents emptied via a G-tube. Yes...I have. After having the whipple surgery for pancreatic cancer, I had to deal with a G-tube and so I can totally relate to the green acid-like puke. I was puking my guts up and my hubby would have to open my G-tube to drain my stomach. At another point, I ended up with a blockage because I wasn't able to digest certain foods well, so ended up in the hospital with the nursing staff sump-pumping out my G-tube. It took longer than 24 hours and I was in there for a week letting my intestines rest. All in all, I had the G-tube in my stomach for about 3 months. And yes, farting was a HUGE celebration!

Although, my cancer hasn't advanced yet to the degree that yours has, I can identify with a lot of what you write about...and my heart goes out to you. I admire your strength and courage, Jayne. You are amazing!


Anonymous said...


Your words are so heartfelt. May your prayers be answered. I am going to send you loving kindness in a little meditation before I go to bed tonight.

Wishing you peace and healing.


NZ Kiwi Girl said...

I am praying for you! My mum (in NZ) doesnt have a G tube and they wont give her PEG either because it doesnt matter how the food gets to her stomach its the plumbing work AFTER the stomach that has all the blockages from the cancer. She does have an illeostomy bag though. They had to remove her whole large bowel. We look at her bag as a positive thing. If she didnt have it then she would have died and would not have lived another 2.5 years and counting. Before my mum got sick I used to think ostomy bags were yuck but since my mums diagnosis I have come to be very appreciative of the wonderful person who invented them and the surgeons who performed my mums op. Basically it was get a bag or die! when my mum is having trouble with her obstructions she vomits terribly and the vomit is a horrible yellow brown colour like Bile and it is very scary. Once it clears she can eat tiny amounts . She even had a small sliver of cheese with some pickle on the other day! and a couple of hot chips! ( I think you call those french fries in the U.S?? but ours are thicker). All the best and im praying for you and your wonderful Hubby!


Tan in a very stormy New Zealand!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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