WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving in the Hospital...

These photos of Blue Belle were taken today as well while I was sitting here in the hospital with my honey after he came to visit me. She looks so regal in this photo as she is looking at something out the window from on my bed. We could not even distract her at this very moment.

She then jumped off the bed and I had this other cute one of my honey and her looking out at our view of some mallard ducks swimming in a small creek below.

Well you guessed it; I spent my Thanksgiving in the hospital as I suspected I would. It really wasn't any doubt that I would be and it was quite a boring day at first. I did get to have my NG tube removed (I got to jerk it out) and what a trippy feeling that was to pull that huge tube from out of my tummy out of my nose. Ewww.... slob and all.

My honey came and visited (we also Skyped quite a few times too!); we had planned on watching the Packer game together but that didn't happen as we both fell asleep even though I called him close to 7am for his wake-up call. I wanted him so bad to have a good Thanksgiving meal even though I hungered so bad for one. I was actually having some hunger pains (That's a good sign of healing). We both did fall asleep although I didn't actually wake up until 2pm. I slept so good and had one of those long dreams (that my honey and I were touring the US in our custom tour bus with Blue Belle as a baby puppy). It was one of those dreams were you wake up and you continue on; so that's why I slept so long.

The NG tube was removed around 3:30pm after we (doctor and I) unhooked and tested to see if any more than normal (over 50-60cc) of crap had come out into the goo contraption. As you can see I am still "NPO" (Nothing orally) and that is the goo contraption that we needed to measure the goo coming out of my stomach which consists of bile and other digestive juices. Mine happened to be green and sometimes it can be yellow (tasting horribly if puked up). This hospital stay is all from my chemo from Nov. 9th. It really knocked me on my ass and we are seriously scared to go on more chemo at this point.

Tonto is so photogenic that I had to include another Skype photo with him. His face is so round and beautiful for a Manx; I think most Manx cats have round faces.

Not that its such a big deal to most (I never take a good shit for granted ever!) but this morning I did get to go poo (it's such a big for me as its just another step to my healing process) this morning. I was so surprised that my intestines are just starting to work. I have been running fevers like crazy today and one that was up to 101.1 which really bummed me out. I had to have my chest x-rayed, several blood tests revealed that my platelets are extremely low (12); normal is like 40-1200 (I think?). My poor left arm is so damaged from getting hacked on by needles (7 bruises on hand and arm) and one more test tomorrow morning (not sure where they plan to stick me there (right arm has IV); so if my platelets get down to 10 then I have to have another transfusion (I had 2 on Monday night). All these little problems which could hinder me from being released as soon as tomorrow (temperature and blood tests).

I did ask my doctor if I could go back to work in January and I think I can; just depending on my energy level and how I feel. I can only hope and pray that I am ready by then. Each time in the hospital is always that wake-up call that I really do have to be careful with everything that I eat and how I take care of myself. I will be sure to get plenty of rest; eat a good diet that my dietitians approve of; I didn't particularly like the dietitian that I spoke with earlier this week as she was adamantly against me using cannabis as a means of getting my appetite back. I'm so tired of having to take more pills. My poor intestines don't even like pills and part of why I am here is because of pills; I don't want to take more pills!( I know what is good for me and I researched many of those appetite stimulants (just more chemicals in the body). She seemed more into me using unnatural drugs (as if I am not taking enough as it is) than using something as natural as cannabis. I plan to do what ever I can to gain weight and to be as healthy as possible and what works for me and what does not.

I have even found that the oil can even cure some cancers; more research needs to be done on this plant. I'm not so sure it's true or not but it does grant some possibiltis enough to at least research for cures for other diseases as well. I do know that cannabis has been a blessing for me in this 7 year journey of healing. I hope one day it will be legal and we can save those many thousands of lives by making it legal. It will also help much in our huge national deficit. I hate that my taxes go towards destroying many lives and burning much needed cash crops; hopefully one day this will change and our government can finally use some common sense rather than trying to fatten some politicians pockets.

I may have had to stay in the hospital today but I did get to reflect on everything that is most important in my life right now. I am still very thankful for much in my life right now; particularly the love of my life; having both my parents and brother in my life; excellent friends and family; and of course my pets and my home. Right now is key and what I can do right now and living in the moment is the best thing for me right now. I'm thankful always to have right now. We should all be. Peace and Love to all!

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l'optimiste said...

Ugh! NG tube seems horrid! Bet you are glad to have that out. And your arm sounds painful, although I'm sure you probably don't notice amongst the other stuff going on there. I hope you're well enough to get out soon - drugs or not. Keep on kicking it's ass babe! :o)

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know I think of you always and will continue to send positive thoughts your way. You are inspiring...
Wish I could do more to help you...

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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