WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Chemo Side Effects Knocking me on my ass!

Well it's been a while since I last updated (I have been both busy and sick as a dog) and I just finished a post that I had started on Tuesday and just wanted to update on everything that has been going on. We I did get to send my dad off on Wednesday and we also got to take a quick bike ride together as well.

My symptoms / side effects of the chemo didn't get to be all that bad until Wednesday evening (I had to smoke a joint before getting my dog tested!) Ooops, I would have failed the CGC test myself. Anyway, I got pretty nauseated and weak, but I was not about to miss another scheduled test (I've missed at least 4 tests due to being hospitalized and it broke my heart each time to have to miss those tests).

Well Blue Belle did indeed pass her TDI Test on Wednesday night. How cool is that? Well we went to the Santa Clara Fairgrounds (my honey drove me there) and I was so glad that we all went together to see our little girl pass with Flying Colors! OMG!) She made us so proud!)

Anyway, we all walked into this huge room; in fact is was the same room where we have been to several conventions before (a Gun Show and a Home Improvement type of show); there were at least 75 dogs getting tested - a majority were being tested for the Canine Good Citizen (CGC) and only 6 were being tested for the TDI (Therapy Dog International). Not sure why they only test so few at a time. We didn't have to wait too long and she was so ready for her test. I was the one having the problems being so groggy from the chemo side effects and also being somewhat stoned (could have been some chemo brain in there), but the left and right directions were confusing because I couldn't tell if she meant her right and left or my right and left and good thing Miss Blue Belle was paying such close attention to her directions because she followed each and every single command she wanted.

Some of the things they tested her on was walking through some cones, a crowd which included a skateboarder and someone dropping loud objects and others just walking by, she also had to sit and stay while another strange dog walked up and the owner would shake my hand and then proceed on. She didn't even flinch at all; everything she did; PERFECT!) For TDI part of the test; the instruction had to brush and check to make sure that she was well groomed and of course I love that part of having her most; I brush her almost daily now since my hair has been falling out/getting thinner and not as fun to style! LOL!, then she had to go through another crowd "calling the medics" of a wheel chair and someone on crutches but she's been there done that dozens of times in the hospital (visiting me with gurneys being pushed past her and lots of other loud things and of course going to visit with elderly patients at a Senior Living Facility. She also had to stand next to the instructor as she was seated in a chair and allow for her to pet her and "no kisses or kisses"; she did that part perfect, then 3 minutes with a stranger and a bunch more things. Well now I can get the rest of the paperwork filled out by my vet (proof of vaccinations) and then I can register her as TDI certified so that I may continue volunteering at Kaiser. The instructor will also send in her actual test which she scored 100% on. She missed nothing, but I think I failed myself; is my dog smarter than me? Just kidding!)

Well the next day, we picked up my in-laws (Mom and Sister) at the airport and on the way there, I started feeling really sick and pukey. My mouth started watering and my honey was driving so he passed me a doggie poop bag (what a great idea, I was ready to puke out the window or open my door at the stop light) and I puked in 3 different bags on the way there. While we were picking up the relatives; a huge soccer team was there just waiting for their ride and one of the kids came over and asked me what was inside the teal bags that I had asked my honey to take outside of the car to the garbage; I just explained that I just had chemo a few days ago and that was enough for the kid. It was kinda strange to be sitting there waiting for the baggage and me puking was enough for security to not have to ask us to move since we were sitting there for a little while waiting. I was still sitting there puking in doggie bags when they finally got their baggage and finally it stopped until we got home.

I felt a little better afterwards and just struggled the rest of the day to try to eat, eat, eat when ever I could. I just knew my weight was coming down rapidly. I had to smoke some of my cannabis to try to keep any food down and I kept getting these horrible tummy aches after eating (like I just kicked in the tummy after being incredibly full from eating= it was some horrible pain) and then I started feeling nauseated again and then have to smoke again.

The Zofran was not working at all at this point. I was constipated for about 2 days and also struggling to eat; my honey didn't even think that I had any food in me to poop out because I could barely eat anything. I tried so hard the whole day yesterday to eat and poop! Not puke!( I felt absolutely horrible last night and could barely move off the couch. We had ordered some Chinese food and I couldn't even stand the smell of it. Any kind of food just nauseated me to no end. I finally pulled out the Volcano Vaporizer and it worked like a charm. I didn't get that hungry but the nausea was controlled so much better (I didn't have that feeling that I was going to puke). Well that's exactly what it's like to be on the Carboplatin diet! The weight comes off in no time at all but you feel like total shit! Sometimes all you feel like doing is laying around.

I weighed in this morning and only weighed 107.5 with my clothes on and shoes! Shit! I was so pissed off to see the scale like that. But I did get to poop quite a bit last night; so I was happy about that but I am still struggling quite a bit with the nausea and trying to get my appetite up. The new medicine is working so much better than the Zofran (Zofran also constipates me and so do the pain killers). Tonight I just weighed in at 114 and am happy to have gained 6 1/2lbs in 1 day! Wow! I tried so hard to eat like a pig today and it paid off; just had to smoke more weed in order to do so. It also made me really thirsty too (I know I had to have been dehydrated because I couldn't even stomach any water) because I didn't feel like it so much yesterday. I just could not move all that much yesterday. I did get to go out with my in laws (mom and sister) some; went out to eat for lunch and then met up with them at the local pub some hours later last night.

Today was much better and I was able to eat some breakfast but did get sick afterwards, so we came home; I medicated more and the nausea was gone for a while. We did get to go shopping at Santana Row for a little while before I was finally able to come home, get some rest and update all of you on what I have been doing this whole week of NO updates. Peace and Love to all and may my nausea finally go away hopefully by tomorrow; more weight to gain and hopefully it be more fun to gain and not so painful!(

Here's to a cure to all Cancers soon!

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l'optimiste said...

hear hear for a cure.
So chuffed about Miss Blue Belle! What a star. I hope your weekend is nausea free and you feel better soon. And fatter! ;o)

Kia Taylor said...

Congrats Miss Blue Belle!! And I second that motion for a cure for ALL cancers!!

Girl Holding On said...

Go! Miss Blue Belle! I hope your nausea is better now. Please God a cure for all cancers!

Dr. Davon Jacobson, Md said...

I have been following your blog for some time and I am impressed with your fight. As a medical doctor I have been interested in natural treatments. Have you ever considered a supervised distilled water fast? I advise you to do some research on this and consult your doctor. Keep up the great work and please visit by my health blog sometime. I would really appreciate it. The url is http://healthy-nutrition-facts.blogspot.com/

POD said...

I don't know how you have so much energy while you're doing chemo.
Keep up the great work and spirit.
So proud of Miss Blue Belle too.

Ambrosia said...

Oh, yes, I'll toast to a cure to all cancers! Glad to hear Blue Belle aced her test!

I hope you're feeling better and your meds are working with you, rather than the other way around.

Take care!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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