WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Fun Painful Weekend...

This weekend has been very painful as far as my intestines go. I can ride my bike comfortably until I hit a huge bump, but I am reliant on the painkillers (Percocets) lately (I'm very bummed that I have to take them!(; but they don't seem to be working so good on this type of pain which on the pain scale of 1-10 hits about an 8. To be completely honest, it is the worst kind of pain in the worst kind of place; in my abdomen and butthole. Most of the pain resonates in my asshole mostly and it's so undignifying; especially when I am standing in line at the grocery store or where ever I may be.

Now when people ask me when the pain is so severe; "Oh Jayne how are you feeling or how are you?". I can sense they can see the pain in my face; I will usually always reply, "I'm hanging in there". I don't want to bum anyone out on my bunghole problems; why ruin someone's day over that when their day is just fine as it is? I just suck it up and deal with the pain each day in the best way that I know how. If it gets so bad; I have to take the painkillers which aren't really working lately. I think I need something stronger and really really hate asking my doctor for something stronger. I don't want to be some sort of a junkie and this really bums me out. I just wish these pain killers worked and the pot I have now doesn't work much for this type of pain; just helps immensely with my appetite which needs all the help it can get. I'm still teetering on 110-113.

Well on Sunday, I finally got to go to the Farmer's Market on my bike and have never been able to do that before. My neighbor's daughter is always begging me to let her go with me which usually means that I have to drive that mile and half to the market and I can't ride my beautiful bike (she doesn't know how to ride a bike and doesn't want to learn); well I finally got to go and I have been having the best peace and quiet lately since she has been mad at me over the dog show and her PMS. It's OK for me right now except for this pain that I have been having. I was a little drugged up when I went but thankfully the pain was somewhat under control. It still hurt like hell but it was better than the 8 that it was; it was down to about a 6. I do have a high tolerance for pain.

Here I am holding this male Cockatoo, I forgot his name but I can clearly remember a best of friend of mine who had one named Rosie who eventually turned out to be a male. She was so loud but so cuddly and lovable. My friend eventually had to find a home for her and one person who was taking care of her had her in a dark room with no window to look out or where she could be where all the life was. She was so sad there; I will never ever forget that. That's what they need; just like any pet; they want love and attention; I mean sure they can be loud and annoying at times, but you look past that; hell you look past that in most people that have lovely hearts of gold. I know I can be annoying sometimes; we all have our quirks. She had pulled out most of her feathers and thankfully my friend eventually found her a good permanent home with loving parents to take good care of her. She owns her own living room where she can look out windows and even go places. I could never have one; one would definitely outlive me (hell my dog just might outlive me) and there are so many people out there who get them and don't take care of them properly. This one was having a grand old time at the market visiting with people. I think he may have been a rescue. He started doing this little dance right up on my shoulder. The man told me that he loves pretty women!) His wings went out and he was moving up and down; having a blast. Wished I could have videotaped it.

At the Market, I got a few things to juice and not too much for my basket which I was worried about doing. We both got just enough. I really had a great time with my gourmet neighbor who rode with me. (she's the one that makes the wonderful meals sometimes for my husband and I when we really need it). A good best friend with a heart of gold is what she is!) That's the kind of friend that you never ever take for granted.

Oh forgot to mention on Halloween I took Miss Blue Belle up to Santana row with her wings and then on to the mall where they were having trick or treating there. She got all kinds of attention at the mall. So many people would stop and pet her; she still had on her Service vest and then the wings over top of it. Here she is walking with a cute little princess; we got so many photos of cute kids; I tried to just photograph others reactions to seeing her because those faces are priceless. I can usually capture a good smile and Blue Belle is one to make many smile.

She has her TDI (Therapy Dog International) test on the 11th at 7:30pm. (wow the dog on the site looks just like Blue Belle!) I know she will pass with flying colors and this will enable me to volunteer at Kaiser. Kaiser may have screwed up many times on me but they have also enabled me to live 7 years with this disease and I plan to live many more years if all goes well. This volunteering will be very good for me and payback time for all the good things those nurses and doctors have done for me. I wish I had more energy and could do so much more to help others and I see others reactions when they see Blue Belle. It really warms my heart like nothing else to see someone else happy because I helped make them happy with the assistance of my beautiful dog. She is such a beautiful girl; so soft and fluffy and I got this really good spray on conditioner that makes her smell like mangos and her fur is so incredibly soft after I brush her out with it. It's like petting a bunny rabbit. I have always thought that bunnies were the softest creatures ever.

Pet Smart has this special kind of grooming that is supposed to help eliminate shedding which I plan to do just prior to volunteering so that she doesn't shed on patients. We plan to visit with all the nurses and doctors too since their jobs can be very stressful; I also plan to be my cheerful appreciative self and to let them know just how much each of them meant to me when they cared for me. That has to do something because I know with most jobs; people become burnt out when they feel they are not appreciated and I plan to do that with Blue Belle. We will both be working our magic!)

Well I'm also getting ready for my dad to arrive on Friday and tomorrow night me and Blue Belle were invited with some friends of ours to go see a good comedy at the movies "Couple's Retreat". I hope I laugh my ass off! My honey is hillarious most of the time and so is my clown cat, but but I haven't seen a good comedy in what seems like ages.

Tonto is doing much better and just finished the last of his antibiotics. I went over to my sweet neighbor who had been feeding him high magnesium kibble and snacks. He didn't know any better and Tonto can be very demanding and spoiled. He knows how to push buttons. I brought my neighbor over a Halloween Bag full of doctor approved treats and some special diet that he has to eat. I told him if he ever ran out; he could knock on our door anytime.

Tonto's special diet is not the Hills CD (althought the Dr. recommended it; my kitty hates it) but it's the other one Royal Canin Urinary SO 33? He's OK with it and Blue Belle has been licking his bowl clean. I'm so glad he can pee again; I do know how painful that can be. We were both on the same page with my infection as well; yeah I got another one!( I will be having a consultation about my upcoming surgery on the 23rd to replace my ureter stent. This is probably why I get those infections so easily. I can't hold my pee for too long and my intestines are going crazy trying to heal and figure out what goes where? Here's to more healthy healing, a cure for everyone's cancer, and Peace and Love to all! May we all deserve our own health care; no more excuses for pre-existing conditions!

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Anonymous said...

Have you thought about trying the Fentanyl patch? I found it quite helpful...they start you at the lowest and then work you up depending on how it's working - I think you need to change it every three days or something. Then, you just take the percocets for breakthrough pain as needed. As well, I used to use percocets all the time but after my surgery, they started giving me Oxy IR - it's the same drug in a percocet but without the Tylenol and it's instant release. I've found these work much better than Percocets.
I hope you feel better soon...no one should have to live each day in pain.
Hugs to you,
Becky xx

Anonymous said...

Glad you got to go the Farmers Market...I remember when we went! I left you a voicemail yesterday, did you get it? Thinking of you and want to plan a weekend up there. Let me know ok? Love and Hugs to you that silly kitty and soft puppy! :)
wet beak kisses from daisy!

Midlife Minx said...

KUDOS to you Kiddo! You live more life with cancer, than some so-called healthy folks I know, including me. I'm getting my butt to the farmers market. I need some blueberries. I'm praying for you, you're a lovely lady.


POD said...

Pain is a pain in the ass. There should be something more effective. What does the doctor say or are you putting that discussion off? I think I'd be putting if off.
Please don't suffer too much before you get an answer.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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