WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, December 5, 2008

The End of a Work Week...

Three days of a work week seemed perfect for me. It's so good to feel productive once again, not that I haven't been very productive lately. I was excited to be back and so much to do. I didn't know where to start except everywhere I felt needed. I know some co-workers seemed concerned if I was doing any kind of heavy lifting. I feel any amount of lifting for me, helps my veins. Well, I also lift weights at night sometimes with my yoga in order to help make my veins strong enough for more chemo. Drinking lots of water helps too.

I tried not to over do it but I am glad to be back. I did notice through out the day that I wasn't as thirsty as I normally am. I decided that I will not utilize my medicine (cannabis) through out the week while I am working. If I have any kind of pain, I will just take an Ibuprophen, do some meditative breathing, or just ignore the pain the best that I can. It seemed to help this week and that I also did not take my chemo pills. I think just to start I didn't have such a bad week. I will have to continue to take the rest of these chemo pills (I have 5 left) when I feel that I can. Maybe I will be done with chemo for now.

Today, I was at work at 6:30am in order to prepare for a large group meeting. I had picked up donuts just before 6am , orange juice last night, and then some bagels for everyone to enjoy at the meeting. For me personally, I am still not eating too many solids and since today I needed my stomach not to have too much complex stuff to digest because I planned to take my chemo pill tonight. We had a pizza party at lunch and then a baby shower at 3pm with plenty of snacks and I was very proud of myself that I didn't have any of that. Instead, I drank one of my powdered protein drinks and an Ensure.

I did get to take an amazing 40 minute walk out on the bay with one of my co-workers. It felt so good to get out and to walk on this gorgeous Friday afternoon. The air was so fresh and warm with lots of wildlife and the calmness of the water out on the Bay! I had wished that I had brought my roller blades with hardly any wind. The water was so calm and full of all kinds of birds. Just absolutely breathtaking.

I had to leave early from the fun baby shower in order to head to the hospital for my note that apparently had not been sent to HR yet and it needed to be there no later than Monday. I have to be honest, I was a bit stressed about getting the note on time as I struggled to drive all the way to Santa Clara and to try to make it there before 5pm when the business office closed. The traffic on the way to there had slowed down and become that dreaded sling shot traffic but I did still make it to the hospital on time.

I finally found a parking spot that was a good huff from the hospital as many cars drove aimlessly around to find an available spot. My spot was may be a quarter of a mile or more from the business office but as hard as it is to find a spot at this time, you really have to settle. I got there and grabbed a number and from what I could tell, there was only maybe 8 more people to wait on and it was already 4:32pm.

As I was leaving to go to the bathroom, an old man approached me on the way and he gave me his number which was only about 4 more people to wait instead of my eight. He apparently was in the wrong office and did not need to be seen after all. I even had time to go to the restroom and back in time to be seen. I thanked him for the number and wished him a good weekend as he did the same for me. See, the power of more good kharma!)

When I returned from the restroom, instead of just being one person to help each there ended up being around 4 and they plowed through each person's problem pretty fast or who ever was in that business office. When it was finally my turn there was a note from my doctor; however, he had accidentally included December 2nd and December 3rd as well. I was just very glad to get the note finally so if I don't get paid for Wednesday, its really no big deal. Now I really wished I would have taken my anniversary date off. I had just completed a very important task and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders! It's the weekend! Time to celebrate!)

I got home and took Miss Blue Belle out for a little potty walk. She was a little depressed about the whole long day alone that she had placed some of our dirty socks on the back door rug and she even tore up a pen in frustration or boredom. She never tears up anything unless she is mad at us and granted it has been months since her mom has been back to work.

My husband had called me to let me know that he was planning on stopping at the local pub for a beer so I decided to take Miss Blue Belle on a little ride in the car. I was pretty starved and nothing really that good around the house to make for me so I was feeling like getting a pizza from my favorite pizza joint that happens to be right next to the Blue Belle's grocery store (with the big turtles, snakes, and scary hamsters) snacks, and food.

I ordered a large pizza mostly for my husband. Now this pizza has a very thin crust and they do skimp on the cheese which for me is a very good thing. I can eat a few slices but that's about it. As my pizza was getting prepared and cooked, I walked over to the pet store and on my way there, two youngsters (young guys about 18ish) smiled over at me and one seemingly flirted with me or so it seemed. Well, he smiled at me and said "hey there" to me with a little wink. Now I'm kind of an old lady compared to him. Yes, I was flattered, but definitely no thanks. They were old enough to be my kids.

I always assumed that having my wedding band on is a savior from all the single confusion. That's what I would call it if I were there now and thankfully I am not. I guess I don't look so bad to be a Cancer Patient after all?

I said "Hi" to the kid and smiled and just continued on to the pet store. I showed Blue Belle some curious little hamsters who were standing up as tall as they could stand just get a good look at her. She touched noses with one of them and then backed up as if those were the scariest animals ever. She looked over at the standing hamster but didn't really want much to do with him so she walked over to the floppy eared bunnies. She wanted them to come outside to play since they were stomping and making some fun noises.

I got got her a larger bag of food and a green rain deer toy. Then I saw the sweet lady that works at the pet store as she came over to me and gave me a big hug and asked how I was doing. She always lets me use the restroom there and is completely understanding of my health problems. She's almost like a mom to me and I do have several women in my life around here that are. They are kind of like my guardian angels and I love them all! Blue Belle even went up and gave her some warm kisses.

After I paid for the toy and food, those same young boys smiled over at me as I put Blue Belle and my items into the car. They complimented me on my gorgeous dog and I smiled at them and told them thanks. As I continued to the pizza place, I noticed a new store that had just opened; it was kind of smoke shop but had lots and lots of beautiful hand blown pipes of all colors.

One of the young boys came into the shop and tried to spark up a conversation with me as I walked into the adult section where all the beautiful pipes were. Honestly he seemed pretty stoned but he was of age (maybe 18 years old). I kept smelling some really stinky farts and I knew it must be that kid. Every time he walked by me, I could smell a new one. I wished I could fart sometimes because it would make my situation much less painful. My intestines get too blocked most of the time with anything that makes me gassy so I just have to avoid those foods. I just considered the kid very lucky to be able to do that even though it was quite gross.

I looked around the new store and ended up getting some incense and also inquired about some good containers and pipes. I then took my purchases back to my car as the kid who had the bad gas was getting into the passenger side of his buddy's truck which was parked right next to me. The driver, also a young guy was puffing on a cigarette as he said over to me, "smoking is so bad for you" and I chimed in, "you might want to keep that one lit since your buddy has some pretty bad gas". He agreed with me as they both burst out laughing and so did I as I placed my items into the car and went back to pick-up my pizza. I could tell the other kid was a little embarrassed as they drove off. We just waved good bye as it was all good humor.

I got home and since I was quite starved, I ate a few pieces of pizza and then placed the rest in the oven for later. I didn't order any pepperoni on the pizza just the specialty toppings. I figured, I could just walk over to Safeway, get some wine and some pepperoni, reheat the pizza for my husband so that we could enjoy some really good movies from Netflix.

My husband arrived a few minutes later as we relaxed a little and then took Blue Belle on a nice walk up the street to another store that we never frequent. They have great prices on good wines or so we had been told. It was about 45 minute walk round trip and Blue Belle really needed a good walk being cooped up all day. I also got to pick up his pepperoni for the pizza. We walked back home hand in hand. It was a lovely walk.

We got home and watched "Step Brothers" with Will Farrell and John C. Reilly. This was an incredibly hillarious movie for ADULTS ONLY. We laughed all the way through this movie, the dialogs, the adventures, and more. I think we had seen really bad reviews for this movie but it was absolutely hillarious as we had to stop and rewind to see many of the funniest scenes. These two men are great together! My husband was also pleasantly surprised to see that I had pizza and I even added his pepperoni and more cheese for his slices. The wine was perfect too and the perfect addition for a lovely evening together.

Before I went to bed, I took one of my chemo pills so we will see how I feel tomorrow as we drive down the coast to Capitola!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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