WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A birthday then a good kharma day...

Sunday was my husband's birthday and most often Sundays are about watching football for him which I don't really have a whole lot of interest for. I can watch hockey on TV, even though in person its so much better to watch; much more exciting! I can't watch that many other sports on TV but I would rather watch in person and have even tolerated watching an entire football game in person (it was actually fun to be there at Lambeau Field) but have never ever been able to get into it on TV. It's just not exciting enough to get my short attention span or my chemo brain involved. While he was out watching the game at his favorite pub on the huge big screen, me and Blue Belle were out shopping and she was definitely getting a bath this day.

You see earlier that morning Miss Blue Belle had an unfortunate little accident on the bed of all places. I had just made some fresh coffee for my husband with some yummy Pumpkin spice soymilk cream and enough Splenda for him (none for me). We were both sipping our coffee on the bed and had a nice little spot that Blue Belle could comfortably join us. I smacked the spot for her to jump up and join us and instead, she popped up right into my lap spilling my coffee all over me and her and the bed of course. What a dumb, dumb move on my part. Since her fur was all sticky and stiff from spilling coffee on her; it was indeed bath time. Thank god it wasn't too hot. Instead of the caffeine waking us up, it was pure adrenaline!

We stopped at the park to play with her boyfriend Jagger for a little while as she got pretty muddied up and dirtier and all the more worthy of a good bath. Then we stopped and got her all pretty and clean then stopped at the grocery store (Whole Foods) for something quick to eat for me. My stomach was needing something in it and to calm it down some. It gets pretty noisy especially the morning after taking my chemo pill (Etoposide).

I had used my vaporizer that morning so the pain was gone, just at the point of starting to feel the motion of my intestines moving things around. They get blocked so easily and are not able to handle digesting food that could cause gas and extreme pain for me. At this point right now, and its quite unpleasant so if you can fart, consider it a blessing. Lately I have been having serious issues with the problem of having gas. Now if I do feel I have to fart, its a shart; so needless to say, I avoid it unless I am seated on a toilet. Most of the time, my intestines do get blocked and therefore I am unable to do so. Just a couple of years ago, it seemed I farted non-stop. I kind of feel that the chemo drugs may have caused the further deterioration of my intestines that now I am unable to fully fart to my bodies full potential.

Now, instead, it just becomes so incredibly painful and for some reason I am now able to feel the loss of part of my colon due to these complications. I am blessed to still be alive and I accredit the use of medicinal cannabis in my situation. I know if I followed government propaganda on this very, very useful plant; I wouldn't be alive. It has saved my life so many times. It is a blessing to live here in California where I can legally use it. I know in my heart and soul that this is NOT a dangerous drug.

To get on with my day, I got some comfort food to calm down my irritable intestines and sat outside a table with Miss Blue Belle. Now she had sat outside the store as patient as could be greeting customers as they walked inside. As I sat outside to eat, several customers came to sit next to us just so that they could get the pleasure of being next to Miss Blue Belle.

These two really nice ladies sat at the table next to me as we had some wonderful conversations about the wellness of having a dog for therapy, the Sheltie Breed, herding dogs, and psychic abilities. Very stimulating conversations and even a church which is about 2 blocks from my house and its very small and open to my beliefs. Not a pushy type of religion but one I will definitely check out. One of the ladies spoke of her husband who is apparently scared of death and is fighting for his life with a particularly deadly type of cancer. One of his treatments involved a very radioactive chemo pill for which he was forbidden to be around anyone because of his radioactivity. In order to take the pill, he had to be isolated as the pill came in this tube that was completely electronic as is dispelled the pill. He had to be careful not to touch the pill on his lips or mouth and just down the hatch it had to go. Wow! When you think you have it bad, there is always someone out there who has it worse and is fighting just as strong if not stronger. This woman was incredibly courageous and just like an angel. She had this wonderful glow about her. She didn't fear death but felt it was just another part of life's many journeys. In heaven you get to meet all of your pets that had already passed on and your families. It was wonderful to meet and to talk with these wonderful women. Everything happens for a reason.

I went home and cleaned up the house, did the laundry, and got those deserts ready for my husband's 43rd birthday. I had already given him his gifts weeks earlier and felt bad that I only had a card for him. He just wanted my love and that's enough for both of us. I feel the same exact way!

The following day (Monday), my husband had to go to work and me and Miss Blue Belle needed to find the perfect Christmas dress for my company party on Friday. We walked all over Santana Row searching. We finally got to the place White House/Black Market.
This was the same place I had gotten my Wedding Dress just six years earlier. I had an appointment at the Mac store to get my Ipod Battery fixed so I had to deal with that first. I was able to replace my Ipod completely for only $59. I had a brand new Ipod conveniently inside my purse.

Afterwards, I continued over to White House/Black Market for my dress as the nice ladies had a dressing room with lots of great dresses all ready for me to try on. I did find the perfect dress and in addition they even gave me the largest dressing room they had just so that Miss Blue Belle could be comfortable enough for me to try on several dresses. I finally found the perfect dress and purchased it. I also found a great jacket to go with it, but it wasn't on sale as the dress was. I paid $133 for the dress and the jacket was $298. The nice sales lady even suggested this sweater which was $78 and a huge "made in china" label which completely turned me off. I felt I could find a better deal and I did later on.

We were finally ready to leave the mall (Valley Fair) as I went to sit at a bench so that I could comfortably put on my jacket and bundle up for the walk across the street over to Santana Row to continue my search for the perfect jacket. I got up and proceed to walk out of the mall after I had gotten my jacket on. As we were walking out a friendly security guard approached me about Blue Belle and asking if she was a service dog. I told him she was and he smiled at me and continued on his job.

10 minutes later we were outside of the mall and ready to cross Steven's Creek Blvd. over to Santana Row for more shopping when I noticed that my purse was no where to be seen. I instantly had a small panic attack as I struggled back to that bench that my purse just may still be. I had cash, my new ipod, credit cards, and my whole identity in that purse. I kept trying to get some fresh breaths of air to relax me which really didn't do a whole lot of good. I went to several benches and finally to the one I thought it must be. Nothing and then I saw two young boys sitting there so as I asked them if they had seen my purse. Still nothing. I went to several of the stands that were close by and still nothing. I walked over to the information desk as the gentleman there told me that he had seen nothing and that doubedly my purse would even be up there in the Security office in such a short time. No one had even turned anything in. I then walked over to one friendly Russian guy where he told me where the security office was. In his broken English as he wished me good luck and smiled very gently at me and Blue Belle. I took the elevator as he suggested and proceeded to the Security Office. I walked around a corner and then saw my purse sitting on a desk. It was the first thing I saw as I generously thanked those nice security guys in the office as they loved on Blue Belle.

They gave me my purse and I hugged one of them and continued to thank them and told them this is proof of Good Kharma!) As I walked outside the Macy's to continue over to Santana Row, I pulled out all of my money (which was only a $10 bill) and placed it in the Red Salvation Army container. I wished the bell ringer a Merry Christmas and continued on my shopping trip. I was very thankful to get another chance with my purse and my forgetful chemo brain.

I did find a jacket for $30 and Shawl for $10. I had to go back to the Macy's for my husband's winter white sweater for the party later that night. The sweater was $49, then the young man ringed it up as it was on sale for $33. I was surprised and said Wow! It's on Sale! Then he smiled gently at me as he went to ring it up again with an employee discount to get the sweater for $25. He told me he feels personal satisfaction to give just 1 nice person his employee discount each day that he works. See the power of Good Kharma! This is what I like to write about so that all of you reading this can witness that what comes around Goes around!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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