Well I have been experiencing more abdominal pain and this morning awoke to the taste of blood. It's kind of scary and I just got my results from my last CA125 which was taken last Monday, Nov. 3rd. This one seems to have gone up 2 points and this was with the Etoposide. Prior to this CA125, it was at 24. If it goes up again, more than likely I will need to change chemotherapy treatments. I pray there is something new and am hoping for a chance for a study in analyzing my own tumors and then building a vaccine like treatment. I know this sort of treatment is showing promise.
These treatments seem so hopeful and I certainly hope and pray I am qualified to utilize them. For now I am just going to hold on to hope and faith that things will get better. The snow is coming and nothing is going to stop me from going snowboarding. If I have any addictions, then it is definitely the feeling of going very fast down a mountain with the cold wind hitting parts of my face, flying through the woods, hitting natural jumps. Even when I do fall, it's a reminder I am still alive and well; despite the cancer. As I go faster and faster down a mountain, I imagine cancer cells dying. In fact when ever I am exercising or doing anything physical, I imagine cancer cells dying.
This is just another bump in the road.
Today's meditation for today: #214 Practice this visualization to give you the strength to keep going when problems seem insurmountable. Visualize yourself at the bottom of a mountain whose summit is enshrouded in cloud. You embark on the long and arduous descent - the path is steep and rocky, the damp air chills your skin and the mist grows even thicker. You concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, trusting that the path will deliver you to your destination. Near the summit the clouds disperse and the way ahead becomes clear. You realize that as long as you have the strength to keep going; all challenges conquerable.
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