No this picture is not of me, but it is of Tonto my silly Manx kitty who is trying hard to make me feel better. He likes to make faces as me just to hear me laugh at him. It worked!
Lately, I have been suffering the effects of another painful bowel blockage and debating if I am ready to return to work a week from Wednesday (October 22nd). The pains from my current blockage comes and goes and what happens is that same feeling of getting kicked in the stomach accompanied with the sour milk, then my stomach swells and then it tries to move wastes or what ever it happens to be through my body.
It is fascinating to watch but the sounds are a bit disturbing. I do have to admit that I worry sometimes that what if this violent explosion sounds really are my intestines exploding from the harsh chemicals of the chemo deteriorating my insides.
I just started back on Etoposide for right now. I plan to take small breaks in between in this two week treatment. I have to look out for the best interests of my body and if it becomes to painful, I may just have to stop. Its the watch and wait game for now.
I stumbled upon a support group on Facebook for people whose lives are affected by Ovarian cancer. Its amazing how many wonderful women have lost their lives to this disease; some seemingly strong like me, I read some of their journals of their struggles and then see the last entry completed by a loved one who announces that the battle is over and that another angels has gained wings.
Its really sad to read these journals or blogs, but despite the grim realities of these women who often face death right around the corner; I still have faith in heart that I will survive this. I don't know what it is but I just have faith.
I do credit medicinal cannabis for now; I'm not suffering to the point that I am in total misery. The natural medicine does make it much easier for me to maintain a normal function in life for right now. That normal function involves me being able to get out of bed, take the dog for a walk, exercise, eat, clean my house, just do things rather than lay in bed all day.
I also have to give credit to the supportive people in my life right now.
In my previous posts about negative people, the truth to that is that I can't be around those who feel sorry for themselves, play victim, or are negative about life in general. I need positive support right now and those who talk badly about others or just place blame on others for things in their lives that may not be perfect. We all have a bit of control in each of our destiny's.
Life is to be treasured and to find the positive in the right now rather than focusing on the negative most of the time. Its good to acknowledge the bad, but take the good with the bad and you can get by the harder times much easier.
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