WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Still more pain & hopes for relief....

It is now more apparent that I am suffering from another abdominal blockage. I did speak with my Oncologist yesterday as he told me that he didn't believe that I could survive another surgery and that we are running out of options. It's recurrent and its chemo right now and it will weaken my system. If we can avoid a surgery, that would be best and we can.

For right now, I can't take any pills for pain and that's OK with me. At this point he said it in so many words, (I like to read between the lines) But if I really need some comfort from the pain, I can do some meditation after I get the strongest weed I can get and to utilize for for pain relief because right NOW that is the only option I have at this point. It's working for me for now and for me, living in the NOW is the only way for me to live. After doing so, I like to just laugh at myself because it is so much fun to do once I am pain free.

I had a very good friend of mine stop by to help me clean my house yesterday just a little bit and she also had her kids take out my trash and brush my kitties. I was overjoyed!

I couldn't find any recent photos of both my kitties (I would take one but they are both preoccupied by their naps - one behind the couch= Toonces and the other watching birds and squirrels while making funny noises at them=Tonto), but just managed to find this one of Blue Belle and Tonto getting a bath together which I have to do from time to time. It's pretty cute. Tonto doesn't look very happy here (he was later on that he was a clean handsome kitty), but he is a very vocal kitty but the cool thing is, he really doesn't struggle at all and he even manages to gently allow me to clip his nails each time.

I gave both of her sons a lesson on how to clip the nails of the cats from my previous experience in working in a vet's office. I showed them with Old Toonces. Those were the good old days, but it was only a $6 an hour job which was all I needed for the NOW back THEN.

My friend then dropped me and Blue Belle off at my friend's spa where I did another Poo out of my feet. It was first a question of what to do with Blue Belle because she really wanted to join me up in the Pilot's Chair or so it seemed. My friend gave me a medium sized pillow for my lap while Miss Blue Belle sat most comfortably in my lap as the water in the tub changed colors.

Its always so fascinating to see the mystery colors in the little tub. This time the water had lots of foam which indicates Lymph Nodes and then it was kind of Greenish which indicates Bile and then it turned a sort of Turquoise colored with specks of metal. That's pretty trippy, but that suggests Kidney Function. I will take a picture of the sign next time so you can see for your self. This particular Detox session certainly helped significantly in the pressure that I felt in my abdomen. It relieved some pain; just a little bit. The headaches I was suffering from are now gone. The head aches returned 4-5 days after my other foot detox (Wednesday, Aug. 13th)

After the Detox, me and Blue Belle walked two blocks back home and then we went to the hospital for my X-Ray. She wore her red vest and when ever she wears her vest, she is working and that she did. She stayed right by my side even in the waiting room, I gave her a carrot which kept her busy for the entire 45 minutes that we waited. After my name was called, I had to undress into a gown then into the room for my X-ray. I told Blue Belle to stay right there by the door and she did. When we were done with the X-ray, I got dressed in the tiny dressing room and then we were on our way to the Lab for some Blood tests and then I also needed to do a fecal (wow just like Blue Belle and the kitties!) since my Oncologist was so concerned about internal Bleeding.

See I have lost lots of dignity while having to fight this dreadful disease, so much so that I have no shame and would rather others feel thankful for what they already have. Quit complaining about the silly stupid things in life and be happy for what you have; somebody out there has less and they are content. I don't like the feeling of jealousy and of wishing you were someone else. There is a purpose for why we are who we are.

My Pain Relief

Imagine if John McCain were President. If it were up to him, I would be arrested and put in jail and perhaps my Oncologist too who has saved countless lives or prolonged lives because of his knowledge and skills. There just is no sense as to why the Federal Government claims there is no medical evidence that this miracle plant really helps to relieve pain with out severe side effects such as constipation, or abdominal cramping. In other words, its whats keeping me out of the hospital.

I can still have a quality of life and am able to eliminate the pain and suffering even if it is only temporary; believe me those moments can be lasting. I don't see the harm in it at all; as I am not harming anyone while I am in my home relieving myself of extreme pain. I don't deserve to suffer in pain as the Federal Government and not my State Government, but the Federal suggests that I do. I just love life and I plan to live it despite. What works for me, works.

I still feel strong physically and was able to swim a few laps in a pool last night just prior to smoking a small bowl from my water pipe. I can relax, relieve the pain and keep on living!

And even more good news!

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel for you-I was born with an intestine looped around itself that finally squeezed shut in 1993. I had to have immediate surgery to fix that, and I've had 2 more surgeries since. In all of the pain I've had in life, I don't believe that any is worse than a bowel blockage.

Keep fighting the good fight. You are in my thoughts.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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