Sympathy Pains? Are they real?

One thing my mother taught me about was Sympathy pains and the real power of love.  Sympathy pains are felt by someone who loves another person who happens to be in pain.  The pain is felt in the same location as the person who loved and actually feeling pain; whether it be a heart, shoulder, bones, or even teeth.  She told me that when ever I felt pain (if I hurt myself); she would also feel that very same pain and to back this up; there were many examples of the power of motherhood and knowing if a child is in trouble.  She told me of many moms who had lost their children and right before doing so felt a horrid pain from what that child might have experienced prior to losing his or her life. 

Well today I got to experience that; I get so many pains all the time and many times my honey will feel those pains himself in his love for me.  He hates more than anything to see me in pain and always reminds me that I'm tough as nails and/or the toughest person he knows.  I don't feel tough in any way; I can barely do anything without feeling pain but I do have to endure quite a bit each day and I am more than happy to do that; just to live and to love this fabulous man.  Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair that I have to suffer so with this disease; I wished so much there was a cure. Anyway back to those sympathy pains.  A couple of days ago I placed some freshly washed shot glasses up in a special place on top of the refrigerator where I had seen him put them there before (all of our cabinets are full to and over capacity).  He was reaching up on top of the fridge for something? and ended up knocking those shot glasses all over the floor. There were literally hundreds of tiny pieces of glass all over the floor and we didn't think anything of it until last night when my husband complained that he felt a piece of glass in his right eye (near the middle of the eyelid).   I felt so bad for him; I had made him cornish game hen, corn and peas, and something else?  Anyway he enjoyed his meal and then his eye started bothering him.  He was trying to not dig in the eye but it was too painful for him; about 15 minutes later; I started feeling as if my eye was being cut open; it was horrible pain but the pain finally subsided for both of us as I utilized our Vaporizer; I also had abdominal pain from another bowel blockage.  It just never ends!)  Those can be so painful!  I just knew this eye pain was a result of the love that I have for him; I was having sympathy pains for him and it's definately not the first time I have done this.



When he hurt his knee back in 2004 (he had to have surgery to replace his ACL and Miniscus); but I definitely felt horrid knee pains while he was enduring them just prior to his surgery and even while he was healing.  We both had to heal from our own surgeries that month of April in 2004.  I had an emergency Abdominal surgery just 2 weeks before his surgery and then about 3 weeks after his surgery; the cat needed surgery to remove his penis?  He had crystitis; God bless his soul, they cut off his blocked penis and made him a  Pussy cat!)  What a sad healing family we were!  All three of us had surgery in April!

 One accomplishment my honey and I completed was getting both Tonto and Blue Belle washed!  They are both so incredibly soft that we just can't keep our hands off of both of them; they are not complaining at all.  Tonto was so happy to have his bath that he has been sitting in the corner of the room kissing at me.  Now cats kiss with their eyes; they will blink their eyes at you to kiss you.  It's really cute.  I know Tonto doesn't look so happy in this photo but he was when he got home.  He hates the entire car ride to the vet or to the grooming place.  We use Pet Food Express for self service baths.  They have a nice size grooming table and the shampoos are all organic.  Tonto likes the orange peel shampoo and the Aloe and Oatmeal for his itchies.  I couldn't find a flea on either of them; so we are pretty lucky.

Well this horrible abdominal pain I have been experiencing is from being blocked with food.   My system is just not ready to handle digesting food and I have to face that fact.  I still starve to death even though I am getting TPN nutrition; I just can't help being so hungry.   I tried to eat some Thai food on Friday night (mostly soup) and I'm thinking that it's not going through my system even though I chewed everything until it was beyond liquid (slop).  I haven't gone to the bathroom all weekend long and hopefully we won't be visiting an ER room anytime soon.  It does have me worried.    I'm doubling up on the Senna and Col-Rite and I'm also draining my G-tube regularly.   Well with my serious lack of a sex drive; I would prefer having a G-spot rather than a G-tube! LOL.  OK sick joke, but it is true; it sucks to be lacking in that department.  Everything  happening to me has been pretty scary and I have also been puking all week long.  I  just can't seem to hold anything in no matter how hard I try.  I'm also still getting those horrible urinary infections and  I went to see a doctor today as he showed me my CAT scan; how freaking weird was that?  I wished so much that I could post that very interesting CAT scan here so that all of you can view it.  I was able to see all of the electric components of this Medtronic Pain Pump in my stomach and the twisted path of my nephostomy Stint.  I sure hope the surgery is successful in 3 weeks. Yes, I'm getting the Stint replaced because it is about that time to replace it.  So many surgeries and so little time?

I thought I would do something different and perhaps at least try.  I was prescribed Premarin after I got my total and complete hysterectomy and then some because I had to go through sudden Menopause and sudden is a bit understated here.   Anyway, this is just another form of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapies).  Premarin is actually made out of pregnant horse piss!  Can you believe that?  Well these horses are made to stay pregnant and the poor babies resulting are sent to a slaughter auction at as early as 3 months of age.  Apparently there is a huge market in Europe for young horse meat; primarily in Japan.

  Since this drug and those horses helped me in first 2 years of living with the disease; I feel it is my obligation to try to find homes for these beautiful babies  for which I would love to adopt but have no place or energy to keep them!(.  I have always loved horses! I love their smells, their intelligence, what they do for me and probably others too in being around them; I could go on and on.  I love their bodies especially!  They are the most beautiful animals!  Here is a baby girl with Blue Eyes that I would love find a home for.  Her name is Treasure and she sure looks like a Treasure to me! I was told that they also call her the Barbie Doll Girl because of her blue eyes and natural black eyeliner around her eyes.  She looks just a Barbie doll!  Oh how I wish I could adopt her; you can also sponsor a horse as well because this poor organization is having to feed these beautiful babies which I'm sure eat more than a dog or cat.  Every little bit helps and I commend this organization for doing what they do to help save these magnificent animals.  I wish these horses could be trained for police work; they are part Draft and could carry a heavy police officer.

Here is the contact information for those interested in adopting some Premarin Foals and Horses or just sponsoring a few or just one. 

Wow! My life and all the pain I have to live with!.  At least I have lot of love from all over the world and many prayers and good thoughts for my healing.  I do have hope and some days are good and some days not so good with the pain; but no day is wasted for me even if I have to sleep most of the day; at least my body is getting it's vital rest.   Peace and Love to all of you!

Maybe blocked again and more pain...

Last night was my first night to sleep in my own bed and I thought for sure that I would sleep like a baby. I didn't fart at all the day or even throughout the evening or even the day that I left the hospital and I was starting to feel the pain of what could be a small abdominal blockage with pain that tipped the scale of 10 (on a scale of 1-10) with sharp, singes just going through my heart, my stomach and even my lower abdomen all through out the evening.

I really thought I was going to die and I kept contemplating; should we go to the emergency room? My honey was totally on my side and trying to comfort me in any way that he could. We both didn't want to go back but I had a feeling that it might have been from me coming off the pain pump; stronger intravenous medicine versus pills (which perhaps my intestines were not quite absorbing them). They were indeed not strong enough for amount of pain that I was in.

When ever I would try to lie down in bed to try to sleep the pressure in my abdomen would make it difficult to breathe and it felt as if I had rolling pain pain singes that kept getting worse as the night progressed. I kept having to get up to go to the bathroom many times through out the night to go pee and each time I was proud of myself that each time I remembered to pick up my heavy backpack of food instead of getting hung up and pulling IV cords.

We got into a very strict schedule of doubling up on the Percocets and then I would take an Ativan in order to be ahead of these violent outbursts of pain.

I really hated that I was keeping my husband up at night too but he was right there by my side no matter what; not even irritated at me for keeping him up. I cried and cried and worried about the outcome of all of this; will I survive this? I sure hope so and will try my very best to beat this. I feel that light inside me called a will and so much to live for; I am going to be as strong as I can and if I have to yell and scream from the extreme pain; then so be it. It helped relieve the stress of the pain in my abdomen.

In all, Wednesday night was just a long night of waking up throughout the night and each time having to walk around carrying my heavy backpack of food all night long. I'm in a constant confusion state of when I am hooked up to an IV and when I am not. At least I have the brains to check before getting up each time whether I am hooked up or not. LOL

The next morning my husband decided to call in sick in order to take care of me. We did a couple of Dilaudid and an Ativan that knocked me on my ass until noon which was nice. I needed to be knocked out from this horrible pain. My husband has been so totally stessed from my pains and I feel like total shit for stressing him out; sometimes I feel like he deserves so much better than this but he always insists that we will walk hand in hand through this together and no other way. He is in love with me no matter what; it's just a very stressful time right now of worrying whether I will survive in the coming days.

At noon, it was finally time for me to be unhooked from the heavy backpack of my TPN. The freedom of not being hooked up rocks and it may only be 6 hours of freedom; but that's only 6 hours of being able to walk around without having to carry a heavy backpack or a try to make the most of an IV line; sometimes I have to plug myself back into the pump when the TPN is on but during those 6 hours of freedom = no IVs!).

My very first day at home has not been easy and while I did take a suppository; it didn't totally help with this block; I mostly had to cut out food; yesterday I had eaten a small amount of Chicken Soup with rice, a few pretzels and a cut up apple with out the skins; today only 1 Yoplait yogurt and 0 appetite. I have been having hot flashes all throughout the day; I know it's from the TPN pump. At least with out my appetite I am at least getting some nutrition. It's scary that surviving this can be so hard. I wish I could eat and not have to worry about how everything can get through my system.

I just knew that I was facing going back into the hospital and hoping and praying that I could tough out this pain and hopefully be able to improve and stay home. I stayed drugged up for most of the day and mostly just watched trashed TV in drugged state; it was either that or doubled up in severe pain. I did get to go on a walk outside with Blue Belle trying to get some air out of my intestines and hopefully getting things woken up and working again. I walked up the block to mail some letters and cards, then walked around the pool area, got to hang with my neighbor's daughter for just a few minutes; then the pain started to get rough and I headed back home for more pills.

When I got home and doubled up some more on Percocets and a few hours later; still not working so I took some more Dilaudid and it kind of worked and I mostly stayed on the couch mostly feeling doped up until 9pm.

My sincere apologies for posting this painful looking photograph but it really is the realities of what I am going through. You can just see the pain in my face as I am crying. At this point, I really had no idea what was even going on inside my body and why I am hurting so much. My husband was out enjoying a beer with some friends when I called him and told him that we need to dial 911. I knew in my heart something was indeed wrong.

He got home and did the usual drill of locking out the animals so that they wouldn't try to follow me or exscape. I was so incredibly miserable from the pain, crying and screaming (they were even able to insert an IV and give me a shot of morphine which helped tremendously) once I got inside the hospital I was ignored much of the time. I was that crazy screaming woman that annoyed everyone within 20-25 ft? I don't know how far my voice was traveling but I couldn't help it. As far as they were concerned; I was belonging to a psychotic hospital unit and just needed a padded cell all to myself. I was so miserable in pain. I was next to another woman who was taking my screaming quite well. I tried not to scream but the pain level was too much to even handle. I honestly thought that my intestine was going to burst and the pain would just come in waves. I had to get ahead on pain medication before I was even comfortable.

My husband was totally pissed that I was let out of the hospital not able to poo or fart and I felt it was partly my fault for wanting to go home so bad. We had our warning signs when I was just walking out of the hospital and then the excrutiating pain that I had been experiencing.

To Be Continued.....