WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sympathy Pains? Are they real?

One thing my mother taught me about was Sympathy pains and the real power of love.  Sympathy pains are felt by someone who loves another person who happens to be in pain.  The pain is felt in the same location as the person who loved and actually feeling pain; whether it be a heart, shoulder, bones, or even teeth.  She told me that when ever I felt pain (if I hurt myself); she would also feel that very same pain and to back this up; there were many examples of the power of motherhood and knowing if a child is in trouble.  She told me of many moms who had lost their children and right before doing so felt a horrid pain from what that child might have experienced prior to losing his or her life. 

Well today I got to experience that; I get so many pains all the time and many times my honey will feel those pains himself in his love for me.  He hates more than anything to see me in pain and always reminds me that I'm tough as nails and/or the toughest person he knows.  I don't feel tough in any way; I can barely do anything without feeling pain but I do have to endure quite a bit each day and I am more than happy to do that; just to live and to love this fabulous man.  Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair that I have to suffer so with this disease; I wished so much there was a cure. Anyway back to those sympathy pains.  A couple of days ago I placed some freshly washed shot glasses up in a special place on top of the refrigerator where I had seen him put them there before (all of our cabinets are full to and over capacity).  He was reaching up on top of the fridge for something? and ended up knocking those shot glasses all over the floor. There were literally hundreds of tiny pieces of glass all over the floor and we didn't think anything of it until last night when my husband complained that he felt a piece of glass in his right eye (near the middle of the eyelid).   I felt so bad for him; I had made him cornish game hen, corn and peas, and something else?  Anyway he enjoyed his meal and then his eye started bothering him.  He was trying to not dig in the eye but it was too painful for him; about 15 minutes later; I started feeling as if my eye was being cut open; it was horrible pain but the pain finally subsided for both of us as I utilized our Vaporizer; I also had abdominal pain from another bowel blockage.  It just never ends!)  Those can be so painful!  I just knew this eye pain was a result of the love that I have for him; I was having sympathy pains for him and it's definately not the first time I have done this.

When he hurt his knee back in 2004 (he had to have surgery to replace his ACL and Miniscus); but I definitely felt horrid knee pains while he was enduring them just prior to his surgery and even while he was healing.  We both had to heal from our own surgeries that month of April in 2004.  I had an emergency Abdominal surgery just 2 weeks before his surgery and then about 3 weeks after his surgery; the cat needed surgery to remove his penis?  He had crystitis; God bless his soul, they cut off his blocked penis and made him a  Pussy cat!)  What a sad healing family we were!  All three of us had surgery in April!

 One accomplishment my honey and I completed was getting both Tonto and Blue Belle washed!  They are both so incredibly soft that we just can't keep our hands off of both of them; they are not complaining at all.  Tonto was so happy to have his bath that he has been sitting in the corner of the room kissing at me.  Now cats kiss with their eyes; they will blink their eyes at you to kiss you.  It's really cute.  I know Tonto doesn't look so happy in this photo but he was when he got home.  He hates the entire car ride to the vet or to the grooming place.  We use Pet Food Express for self service baths.  They have a nice size grooming table and the shampoos are all organic.  Tonto likes the orange peel shampoo and the Aloe and Oatmeal for his itchies.  I couldn't find a flea on either of them; so we are pretty lucky.

Well this horrible abdominal pain I have been experiencing is from being blocked with food.   My system is just not ready to handle digesting food and I have to face that fact.  I still starve to death even though I am getting TPN nutrition; I just can't help being so hungry.   I tried to eat some Thai food on Friday night (mostly soup) and I'm thinking that it's not going through my system even though I chewed everything until it was beyond liquid (slop).  I haven't gone to the bathroom all weekend long and hopefully we won't be visiting an ER room anytime soon.  It does have me worried.    I'm doubling up on the Senna and Col-Rite and I'm also draining my G-tube regularly.   Well with my serious lack of a sex drive; I would prefer having a G-spot rather than a G-tube! LOL.  OK sick joke, but it is true; it sucks to be lacking in that department.  Everything  happening to me has been pretty scary and I have also been puking all week long.  I  just can't seem to hold anything in no matter how hard I try.  I'm also still getting those horrible urinary infections and  I went to see a doctor today as he showed me my CAT scan; how freaking weird was that?  I wished so much that I could post that very interesting CAT scan here so that all of you can view it.  I was able to see all of the electric components of this Medtronic Pain Pump in my stomach and the twisted path of my nephostomy Stint.  I sure hope the surgery is successful in 3 weeks. Yes, I'm getting the Stint replaced because it is about that time to replace it.  So many surgeries and so little time?

I thought I would do something different and perhaps at least try.  I was prescribed Premarin after I got my total and complete hysterectomy and then some because I had to go through sudden Menopause and sudden is a bit understated here.   Anyway, this is just another form of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapies).  Premarin is actually made out of pregnant horse piss!  Can you believe that?  Well these horses are made to stay pregnant and the poor babies resulting are sent to a slaughter auction at as early as 3 months of age.  Apparently there is a huge market in Europe for young horse meat; primarily in Japan.

  Since this drug and those horses helped me in first 2 years of living with the disease; I feel it is my obligation to try to find homes for these beautiful babies  for which I would love to adopt but have no place or energy to keep them!(.  I have always loved horses! I love their smells, their intelligence, what they do for me and probably others too in being around them; I could go on and on.  I love their bodies especially!  They are the most beautiful animals!  Here is a baby girl with Blue Eyes that I would love find a home for.  Her name is Treasure and she sure looks like a Treasure to me! I was told that they also call her the Barbie Doll Girl because of her blue eyes and natural black eyeliner around her eyes.  She looks just a Barbie doll!  Oh how I wish I could adopt her; you can also sponsor a horse as well because this poor organization is having to feed these beautiful babies which I'm sure eat more than a dog or cat.  Every little bit helps and I commend this organization for doing what they do to help save these magnificent animals.  I wish these horses could be trained for police work; they are part Draft and could carry a heavy police officer.

Here is the contact information for those interested in adopting some Premarin Foals and Horses or just sponsoring a few or just one. 

Wow! My life and all the pain I have to live with!.  At least I have lot of love from all over the world and many prayers and good thoughts for my healing.  I do have hope and some days are good and some days not so good with the pain; but no day is wasted for me even if I have to sleep most of the day; at least my body is getting it's vital rest.   Peace and Love to all of you!

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Anonymous said...

i wish there was something i could do to make all of this go away for you! i feel so terrible that you live in such pain, my thoughts are always with you! amy

Cindy Lamprecht said...

Ohhh Jayne, I finally decided to put everything in my life aside and dig deeper into what is going on..for me its like..reliving so much its..hard. I would post to you on the other page, a couple words here and there.

To now read your journal down this road, touches my heart even more so as I knew it would, I can so relate as you know to so, so much of what you speak of, scary to relive it thru your words at times, knowing. Just knowing.

Except my partner of seven years tossed me aside like a broken barbie doll at the mention of cancer..I did not know that support you have. I was on my own, they played with me cause I wasnt supposed to live anyhow..did stuff they had never done to any other woman, like take my lymph nodes from between my legs, which now sometimes swell up sooo big it feels like my toes will surely pop, its called "lymphoma, or lymphodema", its a newer thing cause not many make it to this stage, lucky me.

I do now have that same support when my first "steady" boyfriend at 13 found me here and we married a few years ago, he didnt care about all the scars and...stuff. Now that I am 27 years later dealing with radiation poisoning and another death sentence I couldn't imagine going through all this again without him. You are blessed in your husband who loves you, the pics of you two are so beautiful.

You have the right mind set, you are doing the right things, you have soo many around you who truly care..I have given up on their..care, trying on my own with nutrition and trying to push this..junk out of me all these years later. I know you are scared. No one but another who has been where you are can truly understand the depth of this..outrage of..everything right and..good. Yes, sympathy pains are real, as is mothers intuition, womens instinct..my son was shot over a hundred miles from where i was, and my nose started bleeding, went into the bathroom, pee'd blood..got the phone call, the bullet missed his heart only because of the edge of his shoulder blade..

focus..dont let them tell you how things are going to be..I know you are scared. so am I. But so many surround you with love..focus on that. Feel the energy of all that love surrounding you. Keeping you safe and keeping you strong.

May you be always held in that love you share with the animals, and your man..holding you close at hand. Your heart is good.
You can beat this.

Peace be with you.

Cindy Lamprecht.
27 year survivor of ovarian, cervical and uterine 3rd stage cancers..now with radiation because i wasnt smart enough to run from the cure. Now trying to help others win.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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