An Over Due Explanation in the hospital...

Well I'm here (hospital room) and well rested; I was going to try last night (to type up this update) but was way too emotional; perhaps I still am.  As I went in Monday for my final 10 zaps on Palin; I had to see a nurse first because we had gone through many fevers for the entire weekend; (even a few that totalled 102.3; the ER run amount) it was mainly stressful for my honey who was wondering whether we should be in the ER or trying to fight this BS at home.  Of course I always favored the two of us against the world; no ERs for me; or at least I thought.  I can be so freaking stubborn sometimes; but when we went in for my final treatment on Monday; they weighed me; then  they took my vitals, temperature and then it was agreed that the best place for me was in the ER so they took me there.  It was a very long wheel chair ride over there while my honey was outside waiting for me; the nurse and he walked me over to ER and right into a room almost immediately.  I was quarantined for fear that my immune system was very low and I had infections in my blood.   I had to had to wheeled down for CT scan and it was confirmed that I do have an abdominal block; I had tried to take several sennas through out the weekend and of course they were not working; what a first; I hadn't been constipated in months!?    I was beside myself and just knew that I would go sooner or later.

I absolutely love this photo of my beautiful husband and dog together; this should be on a greeting card; but instead; it's on my blog; the best place ever!

We finally got to talk with my Oncologist whom I keep surprising; he makes these outlandish predictions and I seem to go the opposite of what he expects; that's OK;  I hope and pray that I will keep surprising him and many others; we have a good run this year; it wasn't expected at all that it would be this smooth; OK maybe some of it wasn't so smooth but in all it wasn't at all expected that I make it this far; we might have a few weeks is what I understand but I have this very strong will to survive so we will see.   My apologies for not making this update any sooner.  

Well today I expect to get a nice visit from my beautiful sweet Blue Belle whom I don't have too many photos of. Forgive the dirtbag photo of myself; I haven't had the pleasure of washing my hair since Saturday and it's hard being hook up to my gastro-tube and IV (well I have to admit it sure it nice to not have to hooked up to a nasal gastric tube (NG)) That is the best part of it all; instead it's just a little tube in my tummy that has almost come out a few times??; they rarely give you the opportunity to be free of  many, many tubes; but I did put in a warning that I would like some clean hair finally? Hello!) 

 My honey is staying home today as it is a very emotional day for both of us; we have to enjoy every day that we have together as much as possible.  I still feel very strong inside but it puzzles me that this thing could kill me.  I'm still holding onto hope that my intestines are not the toast that the doctors are saying that they are; it seems the radiation may have done them in; I do have a serious kidney infection; bladder infection, and some blood infection which could be from the picc line being in my arm for so long.  The dressing is due to be changed sometime today.  Perhaps I can add some updates as  I receive them.

ONE SMALL UPDATE I FORGOT TO MENTION WHILE IN ER:

I did have the worst nausea ever while I was in ER and we were able to calm it down  some; it is now.  While in ER they attempted by hooking up my gastric tube to a container deal that didn't quite do the trick because it wasn't hooked up right? Go figure?  How does that happen?; they hook it up and forget that I'm just there suffering somehow but I just sit back and look OK seemingly; this skinny little girl I am; I must look about 10 ish now with my girlish or boyish figure. and old lady face.   Anyway, as for the nausea; a young man nurse had suggested that I get a shot of this drug that actually had an active ingredient found in cannabis known to stop nausea in it's tracks; I was like "bring it on!" and he did.  He had to give it to me in a huge needle; in the right ass cheek bone; GDAM did it hurt!: "OMG!   What the Fuck just happened?"   I cried a little bit; tears did come out; I have to admit; I was a chicken monkey at first; scared, yes, ; and some more an hour later, 2 hours later; 3 hours later, why is it still hurting just as bad?  it mostly just felt like someone kicked my ass really, really, really hard or ran into me with a moving vehicle?  It didn't even touch my nausea at all; perhaps it was meant to distract my nausea by causing at that wretched ass pain?  

How horrible it hurt and it kinda still hurts to some degree if I put any weight there; didn't feel the anti-nausea at all. but I sure felt the pain with out any doubts.  It sure don't hurt like that when I smoke?  How it that harmful? and that fucking stupid shot isn't?   Now this kind of medicine needs to improved; as a tester of this drug; I do give it 2 thumbs down and I would never ever subject myself to this kind of torture myself in this manner ever again; believe me; I have tortured myself in many ways with this stupid cancer shit; hell I am continuing to with stupid Palin!  The Tumor of Society who knows just as much as my bloody tumor does! OK that was bad; but how true could that be?

& As Always;  Peace and Love to all of you and more updates to come!