WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Friday, July 9, 2010

More Radiation for an Abdominal Tumor?

 Well I have been inspired by one of my readers to name my tumor Palin or Cheney; I like Palin.  It's kinda closer to Pain which is what I feel most of the time from it; it makes me puke just like Palin's thoughtless remarks.   Well the whole ordeal seems to be pretty risky to even try; but I did get my CT scan done on Wednesday at the Cancer Treatment Center at my local hospital and I didn't even have to drink anything nasty like barium or that other CT gooky, nasty fluid that has the most horrible after taste!)  I was ecstatic about that; why can't that be done in the ER?  Why do I always have to drink that horrible nasty shit every half hour (2-3) cups.  One amazing nurse in the ER was so incredibly brilliant that she allowed me to drink the nasty shit in one shot then chase it with water rather than mixing the shit with the water in turn making puking almost inevitable.   I begged this one huge brutey dude nurse to allow me to do that on another ER run and he would not allow it; secretly I think he just got off on seeing my funny faces and me dry heaving after each swallow.  I couldn't even finish it; but some nurses will allow me to do so and other just stick to the rules with their blinders on in learning new things especially from dumb ass patients.

  Well anyway; it was the usual thing of getting a gown made for a half ton person; I did wear one of my many CT scanning outfits (clothing with no metal= I quit wearing bras this year since well now underneath the huge tarp of a gown.  As for me not wearing bras anymore; the reason being is that I only have dried up teats for tits and they end up falling out of the bra anyway; almost cutting my teats in half; somehow  they always seem to find a way to fall out of any bra; then I do look like I have dog teats; hell Blue Belle has more teat than I do and plus hers looks  so much better than mine; is it crazy to be jealous of my dog's teats= I suppose so?) Sorry to be so      obsessed with my boob size; or lack of.   Anyway I just wore the huge tarp over my clothing and sat on this cold hard, thin looking table with this little circle thing for a pillow (almost looked like a hemi pillow); well I had to place my head on that and the whole time I'm thinking; has anyone's ass been on that pillow that I'm sinking the back of head onto?  What a strange thing to think, but sometimes I'm always looking around at things that are funny to me.  If laughter is medicine then I'm gonna do as much as I can to laugh and to not stress out over all the dumb things in life.  I also think to ask the most difficult of questions because as I lay there with my head on the butt pillow; one of the technicians was photographing different areas of my body and I asked him; how could I go about having these photos emailed to me for my blog?  Well no one had ever even thought to ask such a question so they will be getting back to me about those photos and I will be so excited to post some interesting photos here for others who may read my blog just to find out more about getting a CT scan with out having to drink yack.  

  Well the very first thing I did (prior to the scan)  was to go into a quiet, relaxing room (with a little water fall, dim lighting) to talk with a nurse; I was kinda nervous about going into the room because I was a little bit afraid that they were going to tell me that I didn't have too much time left (Oh God I was thinking; please don't do this!); I hoped and prayed that wouldn't come up but instead I  began first and talked very personally with this nurse; I told her about how 40 is just not old enough to end my life;, "I'm practically a newly wed (= almost 8 years) to most amazing man ever and we would like to spend at least another 10-15 more years together if at all possible (I couldn't help but tear up as I told her all of this); granted we can have no kids but we still wish to be together,  (sometimes I almost feel like we are no different than gay couples who are also unable to have children; should we not be allowed to marry also?) she agreed and she also admired my courage and strength about putting up with so much pain each day in order to live for my sweet husband; I don't care about the pain as much anymore; well only if it gets to a point and good thing that there are drugs that can help me with the horrid pain in order to make it more bearable.  Well I'm sure glad that we are all on the same page; to prolong my life as long as possible.  No one is ready for me to go just  yet.

 One particular herb (I refuse to call it a drug; it is technically to me; herbal medicine)  I feel that a drug has more artificial components or chemicals added to it.  For instance "A Major Drug Bust of Methanphetimine"; that is just an example or all those drug commercials that you see so often for like PAD, Allergies, Periods, and so much more.  This is an herbal medicine because it does help me more so than the sugar pills "Prilosec" which does absolutely nothing for my horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid heartburn that makes me puke up potential poundage (it pisses me off)

My cat is always making me laugh; all I have to do is to take him outside on a walk and he will find things and do things that just make me laugh.  He felt so good to go on a walk the other day that he had just learned how to climb a tree up to 4 ft, the other week it was 3 foot.  I'm not allowing him to go much higher than that; I think he's way too heavy to go much further. Oh and those poses on his back; I think I must have thousands of photos of him just lying there on his back.

My honey makes me laugh as well;  sometimes I will say things to him and he just cracks me up which in turn makes me crack up so hard that it feels like my stomach might rip open.  We do laugh quite a bit together (and I love every moment of it!); it could be the cannabis most of the time; we do get so silly and such little things amuse us simply. Peace and Love to all of you and may you laugh together enjoyably!

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MFA Mama said...

Why do you drink that shit at all? Whenever my son has to have contrast I just put it in his g-tube. They might try to make a fuss but toss a syringe in your ER bag and have your husband help you draw the contrast up into that and squirt it in when they're not looking if need be--if you've got a tube, USE IT :)

Shopping Kharma said...

Wow! Silly Me; Tricks are 4 Kids! I suppose I could ask if I can use the tube; never even thought of it! Brilliant! Mine is just for expelling decongestion? that is totally the wrong word it is decompression; kind of a big difference. Chemo brain!

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

The contents of this blog including all images, (except images from third parties) and the name "Shopping Kharma - what comes around goes around" belong and copyrighted to C. Jayne Armstrong 2008-2010
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