Well I have been inspired by one of my readers to name my tumor Palin or Cheney; I like Palin. It's kinda closer to Pain which is what I feel most of the time from it; it makes me puke just like Palin's thoughtless remarks. Well the whole ordeal seems to be pretty risky to even try; but I did get my CT scan
done on Wednesday at the Cancer Treatment Center
at my local hospital and I didn't even have to drink anything nasty like barium or that other CT gooky, nasty fluid that has the most horrible after taste!) I was ecstatic about that; why can't that be done in the ER? Why do I always have to drink that horrible nasty shit every half hour (2-3) cups. One amazing nurse
in the ER
was so incredibly brilliant that she allowed me to drink the nasty shit in one shot then chase it with water rather than mixing the shit with the water in turn making puking almost inevitable. I begged this one huge brutey dude nurse
to allow me to do that on another ER
run and he would not allow it; secretly I think he just got off on seeing my funny faces and me dry heaving after each swallow. I couldn't even finish it; but some nurses will allow me to do so and other just stick to the rules with their blinders on in learning new things especially from dumb ass patients.
Well the very first thing I did (prior to the scan) was to go into a quiet, relaxing
room (with a little water fall, dim lighting) to talk with a nurse; I was kinda nervous about going into the room because I was a little bit afraid that they were going to tell me that I didn't have too much time left
(Oh God I was thinking; please don't do this!); I hoped and prayed that wouldn't come up but instead I began first and talked very personally with this nurse; I told her about how 40 is just not old enough to end my life;
, "I'm practically a newly wed (= almost 8 years) to most amazing man ever
and we would like to spend at least another 10-15 more years together if at all possible (I couldn't help but tear up as I told her all of this); granted we can have no kids but we still wish to be together, (sometimes I almost feel like we are no different than gay couples
who are also unable to have children; should we not be allowed to marry also?) she agreed and she also admired my courage and strength
about putting up with so much pain each day in order to live for my sweet husband; I don't care about the pain as much anymore; well only if it gets to a point and good thing that there are drugs that can help me with the horrid pain in order to make it more bearable. Well I'm sure glad that we are all on the same page; to prolong my life as long as possible. No one is ready for me to go just yet.
One particular herb
(I refuse to call it a drug
; it is technically to me; herbal medicine
) I feel that a drug
has more artificial components
or chemicals added to it. For instance "A Major Drug Bust
of Methanphetimine
"; that is just an example or all those drug commercials that you see so often for like PAD, Allergies
, Periods
, and so much more. This is an herbal medicine
because it does help me more so than the sugar pills
"Prilosec
" which does absolutely nothing for my horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid heartburn that makes me puke up potential poundage (it pisses me off)
My cat
is always making me laugh
; all I have to do is to take him outside on a walk and he will find things and do things that just make me laugh
. He felt so good to go on a walk the other day that he had just learned how to climb a tree up to 4 ft, the other week it was 3 foot. I'm not allowing him to go much higher than that; I think he's way too heavy
to go much further. Oh and those poses
on his back; I think I must have thousands of photos
of him just lying there on his back.
My honey makes me laugh
as well; sometimes I will say things to him and he just cracks me up
which in turn makes me crack up
so hard that it feels like my stomach
might rip open. We do laugh quite a bit together (and I love every moment of it!); it could be the cannabis
most of the time; we do get so silly and such little things
amuse us simply. Peace and Love
to all of you and may you laugh together
enjoyably!
2 comments:
Why do you drink that shit at all? Whenever my son has to have contrast I just put it in his g-tube. They might try to make a fuss but toss a syringe in your ER bag and have your husband help you draw the contrast up into that and squirt it in when they're not looking if need be--if you've got a tube, USE IT :)
Wow! Silly Me; Tricks are 4 Kids! I suppose I could ask if I can use the tube; never even thought of it! Brilliant! Mine is just for expelling decongestion? that is totally the wrong word it is decompression; kind of a big difference. Chemo brain!
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