WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Love will get us by...

Here is my new and improved Entertainment System as of right now.  It comes equipped with a second Comcast (cheapie second room adaptor), a 13" TV, DVD player that doesn't work / is not compatible with my Old School TV, an amp that doesn't work with the TV, and the best part of everything is the medical box my little TV gets to sit on.  Blue Belle of course adds some beauty to an already junky looking Entertainment System. She is entertainment all herself!)  She can just sit there with her beautiful perked up flipped ears and entertain us plenty.  If someone is at the door she makes her fluffy tail look just like a flower as she barks so effeminately at the door to let us know that we have a visitor or she just sits down right next to you so that you can pet her soft velvety plush fur and I just got some new barrets that look amazing on her; yes I can play girly with her hair if mine shall fall out again which I doubt it will.  We have lost faith in chemotherapy.  Now I just need to get my body strong enough so that I can kick some Cancer Ass!

Well yesterday morning as my husband was watching the Olympics; the sport that matters most to us was the Hockey games; US and Canada.  The big TV crapped out on us and now we only have my little 13" TV to get us by.   My husband and I both have our very first TVs that we bought when were first on our own.   Actually he had an old one before back in the early 90's and when a Packer Game was to be on; he went shopping I think it was the day of a very important Green Bay game; well now it's US Hockey and we need a better TV to watch the rest of the Olympics, my dumb reality shows; I could care less what I watch those on and would just as happy with my 13" little TV which I bought at Wal-mart for $99 when I first moved out of my mom's house at age 22.  She tried and tried to get me to stay with her so that I could pay most of the bills and I finally saw what she was doing; wasting money on more animals, vet bills, and so much more that I needed to get out of the nest and I was ready; she wasn't and still isn't.  

Last night was so sweet; my honey and I just sat and held each other despite the TV being on the Fritz with nothing really to watch; we just enjoyed the warmth of each other's company.  He isn't looking forward to going back to work and because the doctor had told him that I only had many 6 months left; he would like nothing more than to spend those 6 months with me or all time that he can spend with me.  Now that is love; I don't care if we have to live with a 13" TV; it's worth it with you honey" I told him and even living for $850 in a 450 sq. ft. apartment in Mountain View, with black tar roof top that cooks everything with in like a hot car; no air conditioners allowed here; it would totally seem like a crime to charge so much and get so little for what we had to sleep in, but that's the joy of capitalism.; no pet allowed; so where is the quality of life here if you can't have a pet.?  I don't get landlords who don't allow pets.  It's inhumane in my opinion.   I think that is one thing that I can't stand about certain Landlords.  How can you expect someone to live with out their pet or expect them to give up their pet?  That's like sorry you have to give up your child for adoption or else you can't live here.  Small Children can be far messier.   I am so convinced that pets really do make a difference and life is way too short not to have a pet in your life to cheer you up when days are not so good at work or where ever you happen to be with out your pet.

I was so happy that we had snuck in Toonces; because he made such a difference to me especially during that initial diagnosis.  I could just hold him and pet him for hours with tears streaming down my face.   He certainly saved my life that one evening when my intestine had ruptured from a small surgery to insert a port.

 We always have loved the time we spent together because we were not at all paying for the actual living space; it was all about location;, we had lots of fun to do there; we road our bikes almost daily on the trail that was only a block away, went to tons of concerts during the summer; we just made sure that not one single ticket went to waste (no one walked in with an unused ticket) at least they would get a beer for sharing the kharma and sometimes we road on our in-line skates until snowboard season started and then spend the whole winter practically enjoying all the snow in the Sierra's!  My honey and I get by everything we endure in life with our strong love for one another.   We are basically best friends who live life having a blast together; well right now it's not quite a blast; but the pets sure do help.  I'm not quite strong enough for us to have a total blast; although I still ride my Lahaina Beach Cruiser Bike. 

He has always told me how vulnerable he felt that moment in the operating room not being married to me (he couldn't make a decision for me) when I was operated on that first time.  They took so much out of me and he regrets not having them just sew me back up and just let us live our lives;  (more than likely I would be living a much longer life sentence) instead so much has been taken out of me; I was practically gutted like a fish and that is how I feel  even with  the 5 other surgeries after that  first one.  Love has gotten us by and it continues to. We continue to be strong no matter what.

Well today my honey went to go pick out the TV and I personally do not trust my bowels for a feat such as that.  I just want him to pick out what we he wants in a TV; I have no clue and TV isn't really that important to me in the first place except when I am feeling lots of pain and can't really move or  am confined to the couch.  This little 13" is OK.  As long as I can hear what's going on; I guess I am OK.

I went with some friends to go see the movie with George Clooney (he looks almost as good as my honey).  Up in the Air which was actually quite depressing and Blue Belle could sense I was in a little bit of pain; she kept jumping off of her seat to come check on me and finally I had to go to the bathroom.  Oh how I hate that I can't last long with out having to go!  She is such a good dog.  Well this movie was nominated for 6 Academy Awards; maybe because it is so depressing.  Maybe those who choose the Academy Awards should walk a mile in my shoes sometime!  I go to movies to be uplifted and this movie was in no way uplifting.  Why do they make movies that are so darn depressing and why are those movies always the ones that get nominated?  My life can be plenty depressing; I don't need a movie to remind me that I need to be depressed!(.   Wow!  Well George Clooney is hot but no where near as hot as my honey.   They both have those amazing deep set eyes! My honey has those amazing eyes that I could just look into for a lifetime!  He is so amazingly hot!  How I love him so!

Now we have our taxes to sweat about. Ick!  I'm so not looking forward to getting those done!  I hate having to worry about doing taxes! They suck and I am very, very happy that we at least have a president who I feel will be more responsible in knowing how to spend our tax dollars and not be so irresponsible as the last clown was!  He was so hideous and dumb;  I honestly feel that he had no idea how to manage money but he sure could drag a business and now a country into the ground.  I kind of feel that a child that has never put in an honest day's work and always depended on his parents to bail him out isn't at all the ingredients to a good leader.  

Not to worry, we will become great again and we will get back on our feet.   I am really excited about Health Care being overhauled and improved.  I don't want there to be a death sentence for Cancer Patients as I feel that it is now.  I hate that my doctor is giving up on me; I want to live and I wish that the FDA didn't have his hands tied so that I could try Alternative Therapies that have proven to save lives.   I hope that insurance companies don't get by with turning down patients with pre-existing conditions.  That is so sad; As long as I don't watch the news anymore (or see those cold hearted Republicans who just care about Obama's policies failing and him just being a 1 term president); I'm OK.   I just don't wish to see their ignornace any more.  I will believe what I want to believe and I just know in my heart that  this President has our backs and I'm not at all worried.  He calms me with his brilliant speeches; with Bush I was so worried that I would get serious anxiety attacks.   Hey, cannabis is close  to being legal and that will create tons of excellent paying jobs rather  than depending on the good old smuggling from other countries; we can grow it right here in our lovely state of California or more states shall they wish to join in.  Hemp is wonderful industry and more people need to know the truth about it rather than all the lies that the goverment came up with.  I feel that many people will begin to get along much better and the world will be safer.   I just hope our Government becomes more honest and open with us and not so secretive.   It's scary when they hide so much from us and much of what they do tell is turns out to be lies.  What do they have to hide?  Alright enough of my liberal thoughts! I could go on and on and on; but I do highly recommend this book "The Emperer Wears No Clothes".  Sorry this is the book but it is excellent!  A must readI love it! In fact its worthy of being a part of your own home collection! Although there are many films based on the book:

Anyway, we have our home nurse about to come by and hope to post another video again soon.  All the best to all of you! Don't take anything your body does right for granted even it makes a few mistakes; I'm OK with mine!   On another note, I just received a call from that wonderful organization that provide free massages to Terminally ill patients and will getting my first massage on Wednesday at 1pm.  I will update and let you all know how it went.  So many of us are doing with out something but we still have to be happy for what we do have in our lives and cherish just that and more!  Peace and Love to all!

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...


wow, Tonto does great on a leash! I tried to get my cats to go on a leash. They were like 2 year olds, throwing themselves down on the ground and tantrumming, refusing to walk! Then when I finally got them to walk, they FREAKED OUT when I decided to stop them--they didn't realize that THING was connected to them, they just about had a heart attack in the bushes. That's when I gave up on walking the cat.

That's a great pic of blu belle in front of the TV. She is gorgeous!

I love watching your video blogs.

Sending you warm thoughts and wishes for improving health.

your friend in sac

Movie & TV Show Preview Widget


My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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