San Jose PD still using Racial Profiling.....

You all know how much I adore my husband and how awesome he is in helping keep me alive with his amazing nursing and doctoring skills.  I'm amazed each and everyday.  He literally rocks in bandaging my gastric tube; I have never had a nurse bandage it better than him.  So he definitely deserves a break every once in a while and I give him those breaks most evenings when I'm not having so much trouble with my pains.  He is able to  relax  at his favorite local pub most days which is just a small walking distance from our lovely home.

Oh does he deserves to relax!)  If something ever  happens to me; he is able to race home from there and be at home with in about 3 minutes or so.  This little local pub is every sports fan's dream; it's kind of a man cave being that most of the times its kind of dark in there with exception to all the TVs.  It has many flat screen TV's playing all kinds of sports, pool tables, pin ball machines, a down loadable jukebox(where you can look up most songs), and a huge shuffle board table.  There's probably lots more stuff that I didn't mention but really; most people work hard all day long and they come here to relax and not be stressed out.  Sometimes there might be an idiot who can't handle his alcohol, but most of the time; it's kind of peaceful.

Well the other night (Monday?)  night he came home pretty upset and it upset me just to see him this way.  He was pretty pissed, but thank god he's over it and it's just another bar tale about some stupid cops who violated their right to privacy.   He really did not deserve being treated unfairly by our local San Jose PD officers.   Two young rookies in uniform walked into the bar convinced that most of the people in the room were Sureno's or had assumed there were  some gang members inside this local pub.  Most of the people that frequent this pub are most often working class; they have jobs, they pay taxes, and many have mortgages.  Well anyway these 2 cops (more than likely rookies who just wanted to flaunt some power towards the common folk citizens- maybe wanted to see fear in these people's eyes) promptly walked in  and announced that they were doing a bar scan or check?  (I'm not even sure this is even legal)?   I believe they had asked my husband first for his ID and then his friend David who is about 25-26 years old, he too has long dark hair like my husband, but he has a full beard; anyway they had my husband's and his friend David's ID and  somehow got them mixed up; one announced "David born in 65'"  as if he might be a criminal and his friend David corrected the little power hungry cop; "that would be James".  I don't know but it just seemed like they were focusing more so on my sweet husband and his sweet friend David because both a dark haired and might cause some trouble because of their long hair and semi-dark skin.  Racial profiling is supposed to be illegal but sometimes cops do not see any way around it?

I totally feel that this was completely unjustified and my  sweet husband was doing nothing illegal  (unless drinking a Budweiser  and watching sport is now illegal?) as these cops repeatedly called him  "Polamulu".   It seemed like some sort of racist thing that they were doing; thinking my husband was Samoan? the way that they kept referring to him that way.   They continued to repeat "Palamulu" every time that they referred to my husband.

Well these little cops wasted their time inside the bar doing background checks on all of my husband's friends and a few others in the bar that they deemed dangerous looking?  They could have been doing what their job entails which is protecting the public from danger but it seemed that they were to scared to do that; instead frighten law abiding citizens.  Instead, they go into a public establishment and instill fear to everyone in there?  Is it even legal for them to walk in to an establishment and just ask everyone for their IDs and then do background checks just like that?  No one was even applying for a job to be a cop?  Do we have freedom anymore or is this a Police State?  I'm terribly confused and it sucks if we have to continue to loose more freedoms; don't we have any right to privacy anymore?  That would really suck if we don't.  I found this interesting article on finding a new police chief and middle ground on the East Side of San Jose.  

http://www.siliconvalleydebug.com/story/THEYEAR2010/100110/stories/newsjpolicechief.html

It really sucks for people to have to fear the cops rather than the gangs in our city.

There were no warrants for anyone but having them automatically do background checks on everyone because they happen to be in a bar does not at all seem warranted or even legal.  Can they also go into a restaurant and do the same thing?  They don't need to treat all citizens as criminals.  It's totally uncalled for.  They could have just gone and done their job and checked in the dangerous neighborhood  which is just across the main street from the bar which perhaps these cops were too scared to go check out .   Instead of investigating the more dangerous part of the neighborhood, they would much rather push their weight on something much, much more easier; law abiding citizens.  My poor honey was just sitting there at the bar with his friends watching Monday night football; relaxing and basically having a well deserved good time with his buddies.  I'm so behind that.  I love all of his sweet friends!)

It wasn't yet time to hook me up to my TPN just yet and I was basically sitting at home with my sweet little animals who were basically cuddled up on the couch with me watching a very, very cute animal movie "Baily the lost puppy", (I didn't realize how much cute animal movies mellow me out= what a great destresser!).   Everything was good for me; I was smoking my pot and puking and draining my tummy at home.  Well until those cops came into the bar and stressed everyone out for no reason at all?

Now there is plenty of crime in my  little San Jose neighborhood  (we are kind of on the edge of where lots of Sereno's reside and at night sometimes it can also be downright frightening like many other drug violent neighborhoods.   I'm not really scared like I should be to walk around outside at night.  We mostly get lots of foot traffic on our street  with occasional yelling and smashing things,  until past midnight.    Well anyway these cops were way out of line messing with my husband and his friends. There is more that needs to be done in our little city, then mess with law abiding citizens and I so wished I could have been there so that I could tell those inexperienced power hungry little cops that they are ruining a good thing; they are infringing on people's rights to relax after a long day at work  and disturbing the peace.  Everyone there deserved to relax; not be terrified or hassled by some little power hungry cops. It kind of makes me sad to know there are still those kind of cops out there that have no heart  or seemingly don't in what they do.

Anyway, I researched the dude "Polamulu" in which they kept referring to  my husband and yeah he kind of resembles my hot husband; well anyway he just happens to be this  very, very hot Football Player who plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  This guy has a long flowing mane for hair (Kind of like my honey).   P &G (he had been using Head and Shoulders his whole life) insured his mane for $1,000,000.  Anyway, he plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers;  he isn't quite as hot my honey but he's still pretty damn close.   After looking him up, I would say that is kind of compliment to my husband; because this dude is a total bad ass and my husband is too!  Wow!   So those cops were kinda being cool referring to my husband as hot!)  They just were not when they had to hassle most everyone in the bar.

I just hope that one day those three cops will mature and become much better cops and not be such total ass's to other law abiding citizens trying to get in some relaxing time.    I also hope that  one day i they come in again; that I'm in there and  if they try to ask for my ID,  I won't give it to them especially if my only crime happens to be sitting at the bar, drinking water which is what I normally drink.   They must tell me what I am doing wrong in order for them to request to see my ID or I can also ask if I can see their IDs and I must be able to do a background check on them too?   Yes, I'm difficult sometimes and very, very stubborn and stuck in my ways.   My honey always has to calm me down once I start going.

I've actually had some pretty pleasant experiences with some of the cops in my neighborhood just walking my dog over to 7/11. They stopped me so that they could get a better look at my dog and to pet her of course.   We had some wonderful conversations about real things in life.   They seemed inspired by me and also told me they were glad to have met me.  It made me feel really good.  They were completely open and honest with me as I told them about me fighting for my life.  I opened up and told them how lucky I am to be alive and how I have been using cannabis to save my life so many times.  They were completely behind me 110% on that.  One even told me that its' kind of secret but sometimes other cops who suffer from PTSS often use it to relax and sleep at night.  It helps them and they deserve to sleep and relax too.

Since everyday is a blessing to me and I'm grateful for each and every day I am provided with; I wish all of you lots of Peace and Love and hope that one day we will once again have a right to our own privacy when we decide to go out and have fun!)   Maybe most towns allow for Privacy inside a bar but apparently not San Jose PD.

Another beautiful horse who needs some help. Either adoption or donating for his hay and food will do.  His adoption fee was reduce to only $700; of course the Adopter must be responsible for transportation by picking up the horse at the Animali Farm in Santa Maria or arrange for some transportation. Charlie was born in May 2009 and is a gelding.  He is a mix of Percheron, Quarterhorse, and Paint.  He has a beautiful gait and will one be the ultimate riding horse for some lucky somebody!)  Charlie did go to Monty Roberts in September; he is now gentle and halterbroke, picks up his feed, and will gently follow you into any horse trailer.  If interested you may contact:  Jennifer Johns or Cheryl Forbes (805) 938-0174 or animali@aol.com.
The Animali Farm is located: 3401 Tepusquet Road,  Santa Maria, CA 93454

 

 

A day to give thanks...

I had originally been working on this other post about some cops that racially profiled my husband a few nights ago.  I'm still working on that post; so I just wanted to publish this first to let you all know how completely thankful I am for all of my family, friends, all of you readers and everything else liife has to offer me!   It just didn't seem right for me to publish the other posting on Thanksgiving because I know not everyone is like those San Jose PD Rookie power hungry cops.   

I would love to live forever with my honey; if I had it the way that I wanted; I would die a tenth of a second before my honey and my pets but you just don't always go when you want to.  I'm thankful for each and every morning that I wake up; no matter what; even if I happen to be in horrid pain; it's just a reminder that I am alive and with my soul mate who takes such good care of me.   He loves me no matter what!)

Well I just had the most wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner yesterday with my loving neighbors in the back of the complex.  What a wonderful cook my neighbor Sharon is and I'm still kinda enjoying her meal (lots of left overs) even though I'm eating, then puking, then eating again and continuing the endless cycle of eating and puking?   Even though I have this weird bulimia thing going on; it didn't matter; I just wanted to try everything out.   I know, how disgusting is that?  I've kind of gotten used to the puking and not being able to digest anything.  It just a way of my life.   The only thing is that I must also smoke a little joint which  really helps so much for  the heartburn (I'm not getting it as much anymore?) and it's so important for me to drink lots of water with my meal and boy does that little joint make me thirsty unlike the Dilaudid (which I quit taking a few days ago since a very good friend of mine provided me with this amazing miracle medicine) or the Methadone.  I still have to take it every day twice a day.  Now it's up to 2 and half ml twice a day.  It has to be increased every week or two. 

  Hope everyone else was able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving and now it's Black Friday.  I can't partake in all that craziness; I might get hurt by being pushed around or knocked down by angry or excited shoppers.    Online shopping for me is the best way for me to shop this holiday season; I already have most of my shopping done that way (for my honey).  Many are offering free shipping which you really can't beat; so there's no looking for parking spaces (except on the couch), no standing in line; just searching for that credit card or using Paypal.  That's it and you get your receipt in your email and that's it!  

 I was so happy shopping at the Van's store getting my honey some replacement shoes since his others are getting pretty worn.  They really are fast!  I couldn't believe that I practically got them like the next day or the day after.  I still need to get some wrapping paper (across the street), I only wrapped one pair and I still had a larger brown box with another shoe box inside that bigger box.  Somehow Tonto got inside the bigger box but he wanted to get into the shoe box, but those damn new shoes were in his way; so he pulled out the new shoes and really enjoyed tearing up the tissue paper that also accompanied those new shoes.  Thank God he didn't tear up    the new shoes being that they did have some tempting shoes strings in there as well.  I heard some noise coming out of the bigger box as I was watching TV; it was kinda of shaking back and forth so I just knew Tonto had climbed in there and was up to no good.  I went to go check and Tonto was just having a blast sitting in that empty shoe box with the new shoes just strewn about inside the big box and of course the tissue paper torn to bits.   I was a bit mad but very understanding.   He looked up at me with his mischievous eyes and it was too darn cute!  I had to put a heavy towel on top of the big box until I can get the other pair wrapped.   

Since we are just starting to decorate the cat tree his is finally using the cat tree once again.  Yeah!  We are going to use the cat tree once again or our tree.   I just don't see bringing in a messy tree; maybe we will since this technically could be my very last Christmas on earth?  For now, I'm kind of against it; I like just decorating the cat tree and so does Tonto.  He freaking loves it!  He feels special with his cat tree all decorated and stuff!

Peace and Love to all of you!  I hope this holiday season is special for all of us and I hope and pray that Greed will once again be looked at more seriously as a character flaw in so many.  We must take care of one another; pay it forward!)

My Teal Toes and more....

These last couple of days have been somewhat good days; I had some wonderful visitors on Wednesday, not Saturday (as I had previously thought; no wonder it seemed like just yesterday?) and I was feeling pretty good.  We had some good quality time and both my pets had a blast with them.  Tonto is starting to dig getting compliments from others now.  He always knows if we are talking about him and he digs being the subject of conversation.   He is really warming up.  The nausea I've had lately has been under control thanks to our visit with a friend on Sunday.  

We had been actually running quite low on cannabis and at times I had to take the Dilaudid for pain.   I smoked a few buds  (buds NOT the Dilaudid) right up in my water pipe and one in my Vaporizer.   Using the Vaporizer; it works so amazingly well for several hours just   in getting rid of the horrid heart burn pain.  It's been so bad lately.  Anything over the counter usually does absolutely nothing for this heartburn.  This heartburn almost feels like a heart attack almost.  It also feels like someone is pouring hydrochloric acid right onto my heart.  It freaking sucks and sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night with the worst case!

Then on Sunday we went to see a good friend of mine in Santa Cruz who helped me greatly in just giving me some very, very good quality medicine which has been working wonders on my horrible nausea and painful, painful heartburn.  I didn't think pot could be so strong enough to help with that?  My heartburn really is the worst and I hate when it comes because its so hard to get rid of.  Sometimes things work for it and sometimes they don't.  I have try different medications in order to get rid of it just for a little while, then it comes back again.  Each fight it's own battle.  That's kind of how we have to live our lives in getting out of certain predicaments. Lifes changes. 

As the days have been passing; the heartburn has unfortunately been getting worse.  Sometimes I have to pull out the heavy duty arsenal of medicines for that heartburn.  It's so miserable and for a plant to work on that kind of pain for me  really is a miracle.  It was like night and day for me using the cannabis.  I was so happy to go visit with my friend who also has  2 of the very cutest children and they are so incredibly well behaved.  Good, Good, Great parents!  Some people let their kids get by with murder and the kids can be very stressful for me to be around; but not these kids.  The baby was to die for!  Especially for Blue Belle.  She has a very, very hard time listening to me when it comes to babies. She just wants to give the baby a kiss or maybe lots and lots of kisses.   She just  loves children to peaces and its such a treat when my friends bring their kids and then the kids get to enjoy my sweet animals.  Its a good experience for the kids to be able to play with such a safe dog that you don't have to worry about biting. the kids instead the  kids biting the animals.   She won't even bite another animal or even protect here?.  She's totally passive; well kinda like me.  We are both just too nice sometimes.  

With children; knowing that my dog is in heaven, it makes me smile at their wonder as they give love to Blue Belle.  She's a little show off where she will walk up and do her little bow then she might go in for a quick kiss on the lips preferably.  She's so freaking soft and smells great (I brush her often and sometimes use conditioner/dander relieving sprays on her.   Kids could pull her hair, step on her accidentally and  still no worries about her ever biting.  She's that sweet.    Its  always fun to watch the neighbor's kids as they play with her.  She loves children and I wished so much that I could have been able to volunteer with her but I do share her with the world as I live it.   Sometimes I have to stop and share my dog when I take her with me anywhere, shopping, on walks or on my bike rides; her fur is so irresistible and that little Sheltie smile with the flippy ears back.   She has such a cute little foxy  face!  Many who have had Shelties; recognize immediately what she is.   They usually are drawn right to her.   I've even seen huge burley bikers dudes freak out on her cuteness factor.   I totally understand that need to just dig your face into that soft sweet smelling fur especially after she gets a bath or brushing.   I know how it is; I have seen many cute puppies that I just want to hug, hold and love on!  My dog happens to be one of them! 

Yesterday it definately felt like the end could be soon because trying to eat my favorite foods has increasingly become more than just painful for me.  The vomiting factor is making me question eating more and more?  I'm practically starving (the TPN sometimes just isn't enough to satisfy my cravings or maybe its the munchies from the good pot?) but as of right now I am absolutely terrified of having more heartburn that is so hard to control.  It's so freaking painful!  Sometimes the pot will work for it and sometimes nothing works or it takes forever to get rid of it?  I do know that the Vaporizer works the very best of this kind of pain for at least a few hours and then when the pain returns and by then I have no energy to fight it.   Sometimes I puke my brains out and try to drain out the acid in my stomach with my R2 where that seems to the root of the pain; its just so tiring to fight sometimes.  It's usually any kind of food that I eat.; even water?   I still crave pickles, and oh does that give me shitty heartburn!  I love pickles so much and sometimes my cravings are strong enough where I warrant eating pickles like I don't mind having to puke them right back up.

Today, I didn't eat anything because my friend treated me to a pedicure and it  sure felt wonderful!  I didn't dare want to sit there and puke my brains out as I'm getting my toes worked on.    It tickled like hell at first but it was awesome to get out and  even have some good old genuine fun with my friend.  I thought I had picked out a teal color but I think it looks more green than Teal?  The little flower cheers it up all the more but this photo really doesn't do my flat feet justice!  They are much prettier in person!  Oh God is that a hair I see on my big toe? Ewwww! sorry folks!)

Well the nurse I went with was my first home health nurse whom I have missed  so dearly.   We have created an unbreakable bond and will forever be friends.  I love her so much!  I love her kids too; whom I have never met and of her dog too!  What an awesome friend and she is always just a phone call away if I have any questions or if I want somebody to go to a movie with!)  What a wonderful nurse she is and how I wished I could have kept her for my nurse but I do love my new nurse.   We have also created a bond.  

I just love nurses!   There really seems to be a huge shortage in this country for them.  Maybe some of that stimulus money could go to educating more nurses here?   We sure need them!  If I could do it all over again, I would definitely be a nurse.    I think with all of those great nurses I have had the pleasure of having have inspired me more than anything with their compassionate love and care for me.  Oh I have had my share of bad nurses too, but those great nurses I have had make me forget the bad nurses I had.  Remember the one that farted in my room and she blamed me and I couldn't even shit much less fart yet after that kind of surgery; OH how I wished it had been me but she blamed me?  I really have  been blessed with the best home nurses and hospice nurses too!  They are all angels. 

That's another reason I don't understand why everyone seems to think that Obama's healthcare plan is so evil.? My own mother is benefiting so much more than before  and I surely am.   It takes a huge load off my shoulders to know that she's finally covered.  She is able to get her medications so much easier than before and so much cheaper; more affordable.  Imagine that?  I'm very thankful that I have been able to get onto Hospice care with my TPN.   Before I would more than likely have had to pay $2-3000 per day to stay alive?  How is that great?  Please someone answer me on that?  Now I don't have to?  There all kinds of benefits in his plans but everyone seems to be  so brainwashed into thinking its all bad.  If we can afford to fight a war with a country that never attacked us in the first place; we can afford health care for our own.   Hello, a death panel?   That turned out to be a total lie along with so many others.  How can people be so gullible to everything they broadcast in the news?  I always have to check sources and make my own opinion.  I can't be swayed that easily because of my bull headedness mostly.   I think it has to do with where I was born (MO = show me state!)  I have never read there was ever such thing as a death panel; maybe before there was; but not anymore.   My life is definitely worth saving along with so many others!)

I guess you can say that I am living on borrowed time even though I am only 40 years old.  Yes, hospice is usually against keeping someone alive; especially someone who is in my shape, artificially.   With out the food bag I might be alive for may another 2 weeks or less.   I am still  being questioned about when I feel that I need to turn off my food; I guess it will happen one day., but I don't feel it should be anytime soon.   I don't feel the need to just  yet, I just want to stay alive at least till next year or Valentine's Day or  maybe even my 45th?  Time is just going by wayyyyy too fast!  I think I need more time to be able savor some of these great days that I get to spend with my honey!)  He's really taking great care of me and just being an overall great husband.  I'm so proud of him!  Oh and he's so HOT!

Most days I take lots of naps and am able to do some small things here and there  around my home like a few loads of laundry, dishes and cooking meals.   I can't take those small abilities for granted.  I know one day I won't be able to get out of bed and I sure am thankful for every day that I am able to get out of bed.  I do get out everyday and am able to take Miss Blue Belle and sometimes Tonto out for a walk.  Yes, those two are responsible for getting me outside everyday; rain or shine!) 

I really love being able to make my honey a meal; it just sucks that I can't eat it  every time with him; how I long too!)   As long as I can stay alive and am able to put up with the pain that I have to deal with; I'm OK.  I just  love waking up each morning with my honey and every time that I do its always  a great day to be alive!  Life is a blessing to me and I cherish every day I can with my honey; I'm not tired of the pain just yet?  If I were to turn off the food, it is said that I may last a week or two, but so far I just don't feel up to it yet.  I still have some hope that my intestines will figure out how to deliver food to my poopers?    That would be so freaking cool!  I bet everyone takes that for granted; I sure as hell don't. It is such a fantastic day when I get one of those out!  It's happening on some days!)  Thank GOD!

As for my Pet Therapy Animals.  They always make me feel so wonderful!  Blue Belle  is so freaking sweet and such a nice little girl.  She always listens to me; Tonto does sometimes.  Blue Belle and Tonto are great, they have been so close to me lately; not wanting to leave my side.  Tonto  loves to sleep on his chair that is right next to me.  I took all kinds of photos of all precarious positions that I could have never dreamed up?  I still keep laughing and I think he loves it when I laugh at him because his face is just full of himself like he just did something great!   Sometimes he will sit up and look right at me, I noticed this after I awoken from a nap and just happened to look up at him to see if he was there and he was just staring right at me; kind of watching me sleep.   I know this is boring stuff but staying home and healing; I notice these little things that my pets do that show their love for me.   

Sometimes Tonto will get off of his chair and he will just sit on the rug that is right in front of me.   He has totally gotten out of his old shell of hating all company or just being very jealous of them., he really get jealous of the phone (he will scream and scream if I on the phone sometimes; its absolutely hillarious and cute at the same time for someone on the other end); sometimes he gives a visitor very dirty looks; mostly at children but he is starting to trust more people that he deems are good people which has been most of my friends who have come to visit.     He is much more friendlier than he ever was.   He doesn't like someone just going to grab for him; he's not a touchy feel kind of guy.   The only annoying thing is that he keeps telling me that he is starving to death (he has to loose 2 more lbs!) and his big fat butt keeps heading over to his empty bowl  (of course his butthole always seems to be winking right at me as if it were a single eyeball?) (no tail on this boy, hence "Bull Cat") where he will continue to lick his empty bowl.   Sometimes you can hear a little slurp? ick! but just as loud as he possibly can.  "I'm sooooo hungry mom!"  It is the most blatant "I'm starving" that I have ever seen!   It's as if he is giving me some sort of a hint, hint?.   So I have to deal with those kinds of little mind games (Tonto just hates being on a diet) that he often likes to play with me; its usually  a long 2-4 hours till dinner time when he starts his crap.  Some days he OK and he doesn't bug me about it.  Plus its been cold lately and the doggie door has to stay closed so that we don't waste electricity and boy does he go through that thing when it's open.  He will gallap through the house really fast with his huge heavy giganto feet; "thumpy, thumpedy, thump" he goes!., then bang right out the doggie door as it flaps, one, two and sometimes 3 times.   When the doggie door remains open, he may goes through it at least a couple hundred times during the day.  Each time it opens and closes, cold air now comes right on in.     Being the little skinny ass (102.5) that I am, at least I'm maintaining the weight), I get cold very easily.  Sometimes my temperature will get cold and that usually scares me.  But yes, Tonto always seems to make me laugh even in the most dire circumstances.  I might be sitting on the couch in horrible pain, crying sometimes (if its bad enough) and he will bring out a little hot pink feather ball toy.  He will sit up  and smack it right at me.  So then we get to play some kitty bad minton or he will fetch it and drop right at my feet.  I think he hates seeing me in pain; they know something is up. 

Anyway, I hope everyone is happy to be alive today! Peace and Love to you all!