WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

OMG! A kiss, a trip, and it's pulled out = my Gastric Tube!

Yes, that's right, my honey and I have been having a hard time getting things moving inside my body and with the tumors still growing inside my delicate organs, the gastric tube was finally moving things out and I had been pooping all night long = yeah! -) I had fixed my honey his usual coffee, I even baked him some yummy weight gaining muffins; (they were mostly for me); only I can't eat anything at all today (because of the hole in my tummy!) and I will briefly explain why unless of course the title does just that!). Well, I had gotten up to 600cc  of puke  (well that's basically what it is) draining and I was lying on the bed sitting up on some pillows and watching my honey get ready for work.   He looks so good (I'm so lucky, I really am I think!) These are the hours that we cherish together; or at least I do; and I do know that he does too!) Anyway, he is looking at the wonderful bag that is filling up with stuff  (most would have been grossed out but for us it is life = I'm still alive!) that might have been stuck inside me and then he steps over the tubing to give me my good bye kiss, oh that sweet kiss and then  yank! (ouch! squeal and what a squeal it was; better than those wimpy Hollywood screams!) he trips, a few cuss words accidentally by both of us I'm quite sure and then we both realize the bag had been jerked out of my stomach.! What a trip!  He freaked but I managed to stay as calm and cool as possible because freaking out for me does absolutely no good in these types of situations (see we really do take care of one another) ; I didn't feel it was a big deal because I had a gastric tube jerked out of me before  (I got to jerk it out and not the doctor, or was it the doctor; hell I don't even remember; it was after I had eaten pizza so many months ago; actually it has probably been a year; lots has happened in a year; I haven't even been to work in over a year.  Wow it's taking quite a while for this body to heal after so much trauma!  2 major absominal surgeries, I'm not sure how many chemos, 2 different kinds, then some radiation, and now it's all natural until something good comes out soon that may just help shrink or even kill these tumors inside me. 

UPDATE: I called our sweet  home  nurse (now I feel like she is my sister) immediately and she told me not to worry, just cover it up with some 4 x 4 guaze and to wait until 9am to make an appointment with interventional radiology to see if they can fit me in today in order to replace the bag. Maybe it happened for a reason because we had been trying to make an appointment earlier than the scheduled date of May 5th thinking there might have been something wrong with the older tubing since it wasn't draining all that much and of course my tummy hurt like hell and sometimes it would be burning which really meant that I needed to be drained.  How weird it must be to live with a tube in my tummy all the time and I can't even take showers with this stupid thing?  Yeah, I could bandage it up really good and wrap myself completely in celophane, but that would totally take the fun out of a shower always being scared of getting that and my pic line wet!(  I don't even like the way latex feels after sweating in it= OK maybe I did at one time= yes I've had those wild days of my youth!)

OK that icky bloody bandage is what I had on when it got jerked out (by love) and sure there is some blood there, then there is the Foley bag that has some of my stomach contents and that black little curley thing is the broken balloon (it almost looks like a horrid worm or snake!) &; that had been holding the tube in there?; there was supposed to be a balloon; did it pop inside me?  All this commotion for a kiss and I say it was well worth it!)   It was a great kiss!)  I think that's why it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would!)

My honey was so worried about me and felt so horribly about this aweful accident = that face; he frantically apologized and was completely worried about having to take a day just like that; (well he is back at work now as the times are;  unprepared off; no warning; I told him to please not worry at all; just go to work; with all that he does for me;   I will get this taken care of and I did.   I bandaged myself up and then looked around for a sandwich bag in which to put the tubing in that had been ripped right out of my tummy and all I could find was a "Hello Kitty" sandwich bag in which to place my tubing.  After getting a 24 hour recording; I left a brief message and then I called our home nurse again and she was able to get through right away and asked if could go right now which at the time was about 9:30ish- 10:30ish?    I could call my honey and have him drive 20 minutes home or call a neighbor.  Well staying home all this time and having such a cute dog; I know most of my neighbors pretty well.  I called Blue Belle's best friend's mom and she was able to give me a ride to the hospital.   Love thy neighbor!)

Well I got there and was able to go to the back within 15 minutes; wow!  they are really starting to recognize me quite a bit there lately!  Quite a few of the nurses would walk by and just smile so big at me; I would smile back.   Well I  did just get my pic line replaced just a week or two ago (oh that was pretty painful! Getting a wire tube yanked and then replaced inside my vein (a main artery to the heart on my left side) Well this blog isn't holding anything back on what I endure on this journey so you will hear it all here! 

   First in order to get sedated; you need more time so I chose not to be sedated; I wanted to get this fixed right away.  I didn't think getting a new one would hurt like a bitch like it did!  YOWWCH!  When I got the tube put in today; YOWCH, have to say it again; they stuck a wire thing in my tummy where the hole is; it must have gotten stuck on the way in; then the tubing on top of that and OMG it hurt and I squealed like a pig probably; once again; it would put those Hollywood actresses to shame; OK maybe it wasn't that loud but I sured wanted to scream that loud or much louder.  Tears just streamed down my face as the poor nurses that were working on me; told me to next time to PLEASE request sedation; "I can't bear to see you in this much pain".   It was very painful and much more painful than when it was yank out; I wonder if it was because the skin had been pushed inside out? YOWCH!!  Anyway, I thought it was a balloon but instead a  pigtail wire? (that's what they called it?)  that is bent is merely holding this thing inside my tummy?  It's feeling rather sensitive and sore now.

Just to change the subject a bit; I took this photo of Tonto last night as he was resting on his Lazy boy chair!)  He just looked too happy!)  No it's not really a lazy boy but it is a good knock off!)  He seems to love it so he stretch out as much he likes!)

Well this post will be short and hopefully updated as the day progresses! Darn; I really wanted to ride my bike to the pet store so that I could  get Blue Belle some food; she is out right now and only gets the very best food; she prefer Evanger's in the Gold Bag.  She really likes their Venison and especially the Pheasant and brown rice!)  Well Tonto doesn't get all those choices; he is strictly on the Royal Canin Urinary SO but he likes it just fine.  He loves kibble but hates canned?  Why is he so fat still?  He has to loose 3 more pounds and he will be at his ideal weight.  I wish he could give me those 3 pounds and Blue Belle could stand to loose a little more  too; she needs to loose 5 more pounds and if I got all of my pets poundage; I think I would be OK except for those stupid shitty tumors!   Well my honey was able to pick me up; take me to the beauty supply store for my favorite shampoos and conditioners and then to my local pet store for her Evanger's Dog Food.

How I hate CancerPeace and Love to all of you and more updates to come!

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l'optimiste said...

OMG is right!! what a day!!Glad you got it sorted out, but NO sedation?? I'd have run away, never mind screamed! Uff!

Love the pic of Tonto ;o)

Pateeta said...

Holy shitbag! And I thought my life was rough. Poor baby! I hope the new one is stable and you have no more problems with it.

But yeah, some kisses are worth just about anything. :)


Dee said...

just catching up on reading my fav blogs . Holy toledo- I sure hope the past few days have been better than the day of this entry.
Gee I get my port flush without and numbing cream but to do what you did without sedation. You are one brave Lady!

coffeemaiden said...

Jayne, honey, you're starting to worry me. You haven't updated in two weeks. What's happening? You're bringing out the Mama in me.
Love ya,

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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