Pain Pump Surgery on Friday....

A week ago Monday I was in the ER suffering from intense pain (a 10 on the pain charts); my honey and I had just accidentally pulled out the gastric tube (again!!!!(     I can't bare to place all of the blame on him but we did dial 911 when it came out and we had been having trouble getting it to drain and for me to go to the bathroom (#2)  Yes, the tumor that is growing near my colon or what's left of it seems to be blocking shit that wants to come out; yes that's exactly the way it is; no pun intended.

Well anyway; I get to ER and they give me Dilaudid through my picc line /IV and of course this isn't doing a damn bit of good for my pain; I keep crying and crying in misery and it's like "why on earth did I even come to ER?"  why?  They can't do anything but put in the corner and hope that my pain would go away or even better; that I would mysteriously go away.   I told my honey to go home while I delt with this pain on my own; he needed to get some sleep so that he could go to work the following morning.    It was already known from a previous scan where the blockage was occurring so there wasn't going to be another scan; just wait the following morning for Interventional Radiology to fix my Gastric Tube.  Our weeks have been all about trying to get my honey's 20 hours in each week so that we don't loose our health insurance.  We need it now more than ever and are we very thankful for it now!)  It may not work at times but having caring nurses who at least try is comforting enough.  I am starting to understand more and more where my faith just might be heading; although I am still refusing to go down that rode; I just wish to live my life one day at at time and try not stress over things I have no control over.

Anyway I am still in severe pain and unable to sleep much; the gurney had been rubbing  up against a new tumor that was just found on my back (damn it!(   It hurt like hell and what we had failed to realize was that it was past time to change my Fentanel patches.  Yes this is why the pain was so severe and I even start convulsing and hitting myself uncontrollably.   I hate pain so much! 

I almost felt like I was put inside a tiny broom closet and ignored the whole night but I still managed to get about 14 doses of dilauded throughout the night which didn't do much to ease the horrid pain I had been going through.  The young nurse tech that was taking care of me on Tuesday morning (5/11) told the hard truth of what I was facing; he told me that with just 2 doses of Dilaudid he would have slept for 2 days and with 14 it could have easily killed him.  I thought to myself; "wow!  I must really be tough; I'm ready to battle the war called cancer; especially with the love of my life!"  

As far as my gastric tube was concerned; they were not able to stick the original tube back in; but they were able to stick something temporary in to keep the hole from closing up.  I felt that Interventional radiology had to know me enough to know what kind of tube to stick inside me; I am not one who eats my food with a feeding tube; I use it simply to drain shit out; I must have told them over 100 times and they had stuck the very same wrong kind in me before.   How I wish I would have opened my eyes during the surgery and not had the faith that I had in them that they would insert the right kind but for some odd reason I had trust.   

Well I got to go home with the wrong tube stuck in my body the next evening and that I was still in a shit load of pain as I got in the truck with my honey; I just so damn happy to be going home.  Hopefully the upped dose of Fentanol would do the trick and help with the pain.  It was only a matter of days before we were back in Interventional Radiology getting the correct tube put back in me.  They really did think my tube was for feeding?  Wow?  I told them it wasn't and they still put the wrong tube in?  It still really baffled me as I had told them that I needed it for just simply draining?  

I am going in tomorrow morning actually the major surgery is scheduled for 2:30pm tomorrow afternoon to put in an internal pain pump.  I won't be updating my blog for a while since this old hospital is with out internet access; I should be in the hospital through out the weekend and perhaps the week too since it usually takes forever for me to fart or shit after any surgery.  So here's to me farting and/or better yet shitting right after the surgery!  Peace and Love to all of you and may this surgery work.  I should be able to have a much more normal life and without so much pain.  I will explain the pain pump in a later post.