WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Home Improvements begin....

Well our flooring arrived today and we cleaned out our living room and dining room in order to get prepared. We will be taking out baseboards and ripping up carpet tomorrow. Actually, I won't be doing any of the above.

The couch, cat tree, and my honey's favorite lazy boy will have to sit outside on our patio for most of the day. They are calling for a 20% chance of rain tomorrow and to me that mean's a 0% (I hope I don't jinx it for them). I will need to go out for the day and am planning to drive up to visit a friend with Blue Belle. Tonto will be staying a few days with my neighbor who he absolutely loves and has a blast with. He may have to come home at night in case we miss him too much. We will see.

As for my health, my intestines are still not letting up. I am still puking and pooping at the same time (mostly at night, not so much during the day) and it's painful to have to deal with (having to take icky pain pills). The puking episodes usually happen in the middle of the night. I do get the urge in the middle of the day but am better able to control it. I have a routine now and that is the Sitz bath every time I have to wake up to go number 2 and my honey gave up his favorite Packer popcorn bowl for my puking sensation. (that's how much he loves me). My poor bottom is always sore and sometimes very, very itchy from having to go so often and then my tummy aches from the vomiting and the severe heartburn.

Sometimes I feel the need to hit my chest as hard as I can when the severe heartburn acts up. It can get downright painful and frustrating. I think it just gets so severe at night because I am lying down trying to sleep and then I puke uncontrollably simultaneously as I shit. How freaking annoying is that? This happens at all hours of the night after 3am.

I'm still alive and I hope and pray that I am healing and not getting any worse. This surgery really did kick my ass more than I ever expected it would. I don't know if I am just getting older or perhaps this really was a severe surgery but I am not recovering in the same way that I did after the first 4 surgeries. Now Way!(

This one like really kicked my ass!( I hope that I am good, able and ready to return to work on the 23rd, but if I feel anything like this; I just know I won't be. It's really hard to predict my healing at this point when I was the prior surgeries I have had. I can't help but be frustrated for not healing as well as I did before; I just don't get it unless this really was the heavy duty surgery? I think this surgery was like 9 hours long but it sure did take a lot out of me. I feel like I am at 50% capacity (50% healed) of what I was prior to the surgery.

I can kind of sort of feel where I might have stitches in my intestines (as weird as that might sound) when food or stuff is going through my intestines. I can feel what feels like needles poking and then a pressure of a kick. Sometimes it takes my breath away but I am dealing in the best way that I can. God I hate taking those damn pain pills! I wish I didn't need them, but I do hate suffering in immense pain. I have to admit that I have been getting stubborn again and my honey has been on me to take the pills for pain.

I healed up much faster during those other surgeries and was even at work in less than 2 months after those other surgeries. This one really does seem like the monster surgery. Maybe it's the fact that 1/3 of my intestines (small & large) were removed and the pathway to digestion must be quite different or that I keep getting these unexplained infections. My intestines are confused, something is wrong and I intend to find out in the coming days (on the phone with another advice nurse). I still feel quite cut-up and nauseated (haven't smoked any pot yet today but that will change soon!) I will be calling the Gastroentrology(sp) department tomorrow to make another appointment about this puking and pooping problem!

Tonto gets to hang with my neighbor tomorrow while I get to drive to see a friend with Miss Blue Belle. The living room will be torn apart tomorrow and hopefully a new floor put in. Not sure how long these projects last but they are expecting it to be around 3-4 days. Tonight is my last night to work on the computer and watch TV. Everything will be unhooked for the next couple of days! Now the countdown till my family arrives (brother and father) and the big "39" and the stint internalization surgery!)

Well gotta go get some Gator-aid as the Advice nurse seems to feel that I need it!) I wish all of you the best and may you never feel the kinds of pains that I described here. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemies although sometimes I think that cold hearted politicians deserve to feel this kind of pain much more so than I do! Here's to me healing and to me eating a special brownie for pain (no perocets tomorrow!)

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Unknown said...

Hey girl,
I'm so sorry you're having pain and digestive problems. Don't worry about work too much... we'll all be here when you are ready to return, be it June 23rd or later :-).

I can't wait to see pictures of the flooring! My husband and friend installed ours in our 'big room' and wow, is it NICE! I bet you are all going to love it.

Hope your visit with dad and brother are wonderful. You are always in my thoughts and can't wait to see you soon :-)


Unknown said...

Here is to you ! You just worry about what you have to do to help yourself feel better. You are an inspiration to have it in you to think about others. I know that when I was going through surgeries and treatment that I was thankful it was me and not someonelse i loved. That is why you and me are fighters! God makes sure of that! Positive kharma to you today and everyday!
Crystal xoxo

excited about your new flooring too!! 8)

Andrea said...

You're an incredibly strong person, and I admire your strength for sharing your story. It gives me a reality check because I suffer from Gulf War Syndrome, and sometimes start feeling sorry for myself because I usually don't feel well enough to do what others are doing, but you are so strong! I don't want to give unsolicited advice, but I have used some natural remedies for stomach issues that actually help if you ever want to try them (don't worry, I don't sell anything!)

Dynamic Home Improvements said...

Hope things pick up for you. Reading your blog makes me realise how lucky I am to have my health and good luck with your home improvements.

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My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.

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