Old Dogs Telling me Something?.....

Well today turned out to be a very successful day as far as getting things done. I left around 11:15am to have lunch with my husband at a Round Table Pizza in order to utilize our Shark Tickets being that the San Jose Sharks had indeed scored at least 4 points during that game so we qualified for some free pizza only I wouldn't be able to eat pizza, but I did order a sandwich. What kind of sucked was that this particular Round Table would not honor the free pizza deal with our Sharks Tickets. You have to utilize those tickets before 7 days after the game and today was indeed the 7th day. Well didn't get to use those tickets after all again!

After the lunch with my sweetie, I was able to wash my dirty car and then go home and make an appointment for Tonto at 4pm that same day. He has this scab on his side that we couldn't figure out what it is. My husband was worried about him and we thought it might be cancerous since he had thought that over the few days that the scab was getting bigger. I honestly couldn't tell, but we did shave his side which looked kind of funny. Since he does gets to go over to our neighbors every so often so I was tempted to fix his funny hair cut and shave "Obama" on his left side for now. It would have been cool to walk him with the "Obama" on his side and for my neighbor to see. I didn't but I am still tempted too!

I decided to take Blue Belle with me while I took Tonto to the vet. Last time I took him by himself, he freaked and was mad at me for 2 days. He thought I was picking on him so I took her to calm him in the car. The two just sat in the backseat together and he cried for a little bit at first. They both sat on the examining table together and the vet was able to examine him even though Blue Belle was also on the table.

He didn't have anything life threatening on him and it turned out to be a bee sting and he had an allergic reaction to the bee sting. It makes sense because he does love to chase bugs and eat them too. He does need to loose around 5 lbs or 1/3 of his weight. We just changed his diet to "Wellness" Healthy weight cat food which only has 8 % fat of which most cat foods have around 18-25% fat. He exercises about 40 minutes per day and sometimes we even get him to exercise for up to an hour.

After the Vet visit I took both of them to Pet Food Express for a bath. Tonto cried for a while and then got over it and enjoyed his bath. They both feel very pretty and proud to be clean for now!

Once my husband got home from work we took a friend of ours to dinner at Aqui in Downtown Campbell for some great food on their outside deck. What a gorgeous October night. Blue Belle got to sit outside and show everyone there how pretty and soft she was. We later went over to our friends house (the couple who made me the black and gold bear with love). They have 2 Manchester Terriors. One is around 10-12 years old maybe older and he's partially blind with cataracts. The other is a female (Rosie) and she is about 5 years old. Here is a little something I figured out for myself during this visit.


OLD DOGS ARE SWEET

I just figured out something cool about some old dogs that I have had the experience of being around. These older dogs belong to friends of mine but they have some sort of bond with me where they gaze into my eyes, look at me compassionately, then they will sit next me lovingly and then fart. Some farts are loud and some soft, but they all stink in the worst way! It is unpleasant for all of these old dogs to come over and fart next me. Sometimes, it turns my stomach and makes me want to throw up, but thank god I had just smoked a bowel and was stoned because it really did make it easier for me to sit there while those old dogs farted next to me. Sometimes even old men will fart next to me in the grocery store. Maybe its just me, but its almost as if the world really wants me to be able to fart. Bless their bottoms!

These blocks I sometimes suffer make it where I can barely fart and its so incredibly painful. My bowels will make lots of noise trying hard to get things through but something in there is blocking me. Its frustrating that I have to face this almost daily, but I'm ALIVE!!

Its always a blessing to wake up each morning because sometimes I wonder if the end will be anytime soon. I know that might sound a bit weakening on my part, but I can't help but worry sometimes. I love life that much more!

I actually feel that I get stronger each time I listen Barack Obama speak! He really is inspiring me more and more and its almost as I can forget about the pains that I may be experiencing at the time. It's like a feeling of excitement and a connection to this inspirational leader. I really look forward to having a new future with such an inspirational likable leader. We may even be able travel proudly all over the world without being dogged as stupid and foolish. America smart?

Another day for pain....

What makes me so happy and keeps me going is this wonderful man in this photo. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me other than life itself. We fight this disease hand in hand. We are pretty powerful together.

I fight this disease so hard and am so tough and also hard headed to the pain, but sometimes it does get the best of me. I started this blog with every intention of making others feel better about their own situations as I fight mine. This cancer has taught me and maybe others quite a bit about treasuring your life, your right now and trying to improve the future or the outcome.

I don't even have children but would fear bringing them up in the world today. Fear is a horrible thing that our government utilizes as a tool. I wonder about cancer starting out with fear and the body feeling fear and stress, as muscles tighten, constrict and then releasing toxins into the body. I am not at all a doctor, but these processes really make me wonder. If the government is going to scare the crap out of all of us to control us while the stress of their control causes unlimited amounts of health problems, the least they could do is to provide us with universal health care.

I feel the actions within my body daily. My abdomen reacts strangely especially after 4 abdominal surgeries where each time my intestines were taken outside of my cavity and worked on whether it be scraped for cancer, inspected for holes, stapled or sewn together. That's what happened to them and I know they are not the same and will never ever return to being the same. I don't blame my intestines or my body for making such a fuss when I accidentally crave the wrong foods. I'm still learning.

To get back to my pains; I just made the mistake of eating on an off day and succumbing to my weakness for my favorite food ever, Pizza. See, I'm not perfect, but I do live by the moment and how I feel.

My intestines have been stirring very violently and its also very painful. They swell up, make violently loud noises as they struggle with the difficulty of digesting food. Then all of sudden, it feels as if I just got kicked in the gut. It takes my breath away and I fall to my feet. I struggle with breathing trying my best not feel the intense pain. I hold my stomach gently as I wish the pain away, I meditate, breath slowly and then vaporize.

The doctor had told me, not to take any medications or pills for pain because of the dangers of getting further blocked and side effects. If I do, I taste the pill coming up my esophacus and it tastes so horrible that I don't feel the need to drink anything or consume anything.

My intestines are blocked at this point and nothing can get through and so its the waiting game until a miracle happens. I can feel the gas because every once in a while, I can sometimes force out a burp. My husband farting in the back room doesn't make things much easier for me although I do sit there and wish it was me releasing that pressure. If you can fart, I hope you consider yourself lucky! Farting can be such a blessing! I can't right now and my body really wants to. Didn't mean to get to this topic, but its real and feel free to laugh because I certainly am. Other people just wish for complicated things, while I just wish for simpler (like taking a dump!)

The vapor dissipates the pain for right now as I breath more slowly and am able numb the pain. My mouth feels so dry and the taste has gone away, so I drink more water and can't get enough of it. I close my eyes and slow my breath as I meditate and pray to god that the pain go away. I thank him each and every time my husband who takes care of me and all those around me. All the good people in this world that make a difference. The meditation and praying helps me to calm the pain. For me and hopefully you too, every day is a new miracle to make the most of time.