Pooch Hotel Grand Opening and more!

Well this weekend I planned to just have fun this weekend since I could. I'm controlling the pain the best that I can; sometimes I get severe pain in my lower left abdomen that just takes my breath away but I'm glad that I'm able to control it and writing down when ever I do take a pain pill or eat something. I have to keep track of what is going in my system each day and the food and pain diary is great for me to discuss with my doctors.

Well on Saturday, I took my neighbors daughter with me to the grand opening of the pooch hotel in Sunnyvale. It was a very fun event. We first started by walking in and we ended up going on a tour of the facility with all the little dogs which Blue Belle felt way more comfortable this way. She is a little shy of larger dogs and little dogs don't intimidate her as much. She got to check out the beds and she didn't get to see the saline pool which saline is better to clean this type of pool than the chlorine and it doesn't irritate skin either. How clever. We saw the work out facility which included a treadmill and another one in water. I might try to spend the day with Blue Belle here just exercising her; we will see how much they charge for that.

We went through the whole tour and then ended up in this one huge room where there was all kinds of free stuff. They offered chocolate Fondue over strawberries and a marshmallow, beer and wine, free samples of teas (I tried all 8 flavors), little tiny cupcakes of chocolate and a Red Velvet dream cake? I forgot the flavor but it was wonderful. I had 2 of them! Awwww they were awesome! They even had the best Blue Berry Coffee Cake! My neighbor was even mowwing on rice, beans, and cornbread. I didn't want to chance my system on that. I was full from the Chocolate covered strawberries and red velvet cake muffins. There were treats on every table to give to dogs and I had to refrain for Blue Belle's sake. You can really feel her ribs very good and she is a little over weight; mostly from lack of exercise when ever I am in the hospital. I'm working on it. She will be in tip top shape soon enough.

We walked by a dog getting a massage and Blue Belle stopped right there and smelled and looked up at the dog getting the massage and I had to pull her to move on. She kept looking up that way as if she were very interested. Me and Amanda had signed up for free manicures and we waited around for those while enjoying all the dogs that had walked in; all breeds of all colors to enjoy; there must have been over 100 dogs there the entire time we were there. It was really a cool event to be at and we were having a complete blast! We finally got our manicures and then Miss Blue Belle got her manicure and after she got her manicure; the woman who gave it; ran up to us and asked if she could borrow Blue Belle for a photo in the paper of her getting services. Since she grasped her hands while getting a manicure she felt Blue Belle had it in her for getting another manicure for the camera and for the San Jose Mercury News. Well we got the Sunday paper and she didn't make it in the paper but I got all kinds of excellent photos of her that would have worked for the paper.

After the manicure she set her sights on the massage once again. This time a beagle was on the table getting a massage and he started walking around all over the table; I asked the woman if there was a line for the dog massages and she told me that we could be next. A Shibah Inoo came up and almost got in front of us and Blue Belle got up and gave the dog a dirty look like "don't you dare break in front of me; I'm next!". It was surprising to see and then a huge Australian Shepherd came up and she did the same exact thing to him too. All of a sudden the dog on the table had enough of the massage so the masseuse picked him up and placed him on the floor with his owner and all of a sudden Blue Belle jumped up onto the table and was ready for her massage. It really surprised all of us; then a few people pulled out their cameras and started taking photos of Miss Blue Belle getting her massage. The masseuse was convinced that Blue Belle was indeed the sophisticated spa dog and knew how to enjoy a real massage. She loved every minute of it and I was the proud parent of such a well behaved daughter. I couldn't stop smiling as my dog had a blast getting her massage. I was enjoying the moment and it was enjoyable.

After her massage; she didn't want it to end but we walked out of the facility agreeing that was indeed a good time; we went home and my honey had cleaned the entire house. He dusted, made up the bed, vacuumed and even cleaned up my kitchen. I was so proud of him; I made a juice with the last of my veggies and fruits to hold me over and then we all went over to Black Angus for dinner. I just ordered sides which were easier for me to digest. I was such a cheap date; but that's OK; my system is now working better; I'm going to the bathroom each day now; not suffering in too much pain and feeling like I'm getting stronger. Perhaps this is due to be off the chemo. I felt so weak and of course it's been over 2 months since that huge surgery too; I'm healing and nothing is going to stop me now.

On Sunday I went to the Farmer's Market and got all kinds of veggies and some fruits to juice with my new juicer; I made a combination juice with Kale, spinach, Pear, Apple, Ginger, and Cantelope. It was good and had a bite to it and I finished all of it which filled me up. This juicer is a bit to clean but not as bad as my other juicer. I hope to use it everyday and perhaps using the waste for making soup or breads. I'm proud of myself for eating as healthy as I can and gaining a little bit of weight. I'm not up to 120 just yet; but I'm getting there.

Bodies in motion stay in motion! It was nice not to be focused on my being so sick and just having that feeling of healing myself and getting through all of this. My mind is so powerful and I'm going to use it to cure myself if at all possible! Peace and Love to all! More fun to be had for me!

Now the Important Decision - To Continue....

Yesterday was supposed to be my 1st day off the chemo pills and perhaps off the chemo for now. I took the very last Etoposide pill on Tuesday night, the very same night of my Avastin infusion. Yippee, I am done with chemo for 1 week at least for now!

As for my diet, I still have to be extremely careful in my food choices. Sometimes I have to admit, I wait too long to eat anything and therefore I'm starving for some real food! and soup, smoothies, Ensures just don't cut it. I just want some REAL, REAL Food. Not pretend food, but REAL food. I get down and dangerous and sometimes will have a sandwich with some cheese on it because I miss cheese so much! Before my initial diagnosis, my diet revolved around cheese. I literally added a little bit of food to my cheese. I love cheese and I sure miss it!

Weaknesses sometimes happens (2-3 times a week) and I pay miserably for that opportunity. While I am enjoying my torture food, it seems worth it until I am suffering in pain. Sometimes, I just want to eat something that I at least like; is that so wrong? Well, this time, in the first time in 8 weeks, I fell off the wagon and had to have some pizza. I just couldn't help it and I had them hold off on the cheese at Mr. Pizza Man across the street. All kinds of cooked veggies with artichokes, sun dried tomatoes, real tomatoes, olives, peppers, brocolli, and more! Now this photo isn't the actual pizza I ate (couldn't find a photo of one that looked like it). It was so delicious and while I only at 3 pieces, I suffered miserably for that decision. My body just isn't ready to eat something so complex and besides I am still suffering from the after effects of the chemo pills. Dumb, dumb mistake.

I always think right before I make a dumb move like that "You only live once". What an excuse. I savor the tastes and the right now of my dumb decision while I try to remember the high lights such as the cheese pulling apart from the other pieces, the textures, the veggies, and the excellent crust. The pain was almost worth it only I am still suffering.

I decided to do an enema today and to double up on the prune juice just to make extra sure the pizza gets through my system. I can still feel the metal from the chemo and that awful feeling of having actual sores and cuts in my insides. It's kind of a beat up feeling and every once in a while, God will decide to punch me square in the stomach and then I double up in disbelief. I know its from the chemo because I am used to this pain, but it is a blockage.

I did get to poo all day long today and really couldn't go too far from a bathroom today. I was in the grocery store and had to run to the bathroom. Thank god I made it! After that, I stayed inside or close by the bathroom. At least most of it is coming out.

CONCERNS ABOUT CONTINUING THE CHEMO

My husband is really worried about me because of the amount of weight that I am loosing. He is seeing more ribs and bones as my size continues to shrink and its concerning him. He feels we need to take a break from the chemo or just stop it all together. He is sick and tired of seeing me doubled up in pain and getting so stoned that I am looking drugged up. The pot is the only thing that is helping me for right now deal with the extreme pains. He also hates watching my National Geographic like intestines do the weird things of swelling up, making horrible explosion sounds as food and stuff try to get through my intestines. I hope to document this for all to see. Its quite fascinating but it scares him. I can tell he hates seeing me suffer like this. Its called love.

Now this is a photo I found on the web of an actual Colostomy Bag. My husband and I have been discussing this solution lately to my intestinal crisis. We are weighing in the benefit of having a colostomy bag. My husband suggested this as I was taking a bath. I started to cry just thinking about having a bag attached to me and having to clean it out several times a day. Having a part of my insides, sticking on the outside of me just like that. It made me feel more vulnerable. He told me "at least you won't have to wipe you ass!". We both cracked up but it is another reality that I just may have to face. Its called the waiting game to see if my intestines will be able to handle digestion.

I plan to be extra careful tomorrow and just stick with my Ensures and possibly a smoothie. Each day is a new day to test my decision making.