Butter & Cookies....& more chemo...

A good friend of mine kicked down some great medicine for me. Its a good thing because I was running low and the stuff I was using just wasn't working the way that is was. Your body does tend to build up a tolerance sometimes and I see this just with chemo.

The medicine my friend kicked down helped me in the following bulleted points.

• Its strong enough to dull the sharpening abdominal pain from frequent blockages
• strong enough to relieve the pain of painful digesting and the sounds of my intestines have even calmed down
• really makes me so incredibly thirsty that I can drink up even the most nasty cup of poo looking concoction (Red Rubi Prune Juice) with 2 scoops of Miralax and some lots of water.

Do you think just any anti nausea or pain medication can make this concoction taste yummy? See, looks like poo, make me go poo? This picture actually makes it look a whole lot yummier. That color black you see, it really is black and it looks exactly like I am eating my diarrhea like pooh. The actual cotton mouth and thirstiness really helps me drink this stuff at least once or twice a day every day!

No worries for me. I got to make some wonderful butter in my pressure cooker all day on Sunday. I placed several sticks of unsalted organic butter, melted it and then let it simmer for 12 hours in a bunch of buds and stems. Not sure what else to call them, but my friend had kicked this down for me for cooking purposes so thought why not get to work and make sure this doesn't go to waste.

The house had a very interesting smell to it as I cooked this concoction in my pressure cooker for 12 hours. Now I didn't stay in the house for the entire 12 hours. I took Miss Blue Belle, my neighbor and Tess the little Yorkie that is so in love with Blue Belle to the park to meet Blue Belle's boyfriend Jagger. The 3 played so well together in just the beginning until Miss Tess got tired out from running. She sat in her mom's lap and would go sneak kisses from Blue Belle periodically.

After our fun at the dog park, I took my neighbor home and then went to the Farmer's Market for some fun adventure with Blue Belle. We went inside the camping store and of course Blue Belle being the child magnet that she is stopped a few people in their tracks because of her fluffy appearance where she kind of looks like a pretty colored "Sheltie" to most. I told this one woman, go right ahead, give her a big hug and she looked up at me like "thanks, I need this". Blue Belle has a gift with people where they just melt in her fur. I think its really sad for people not to have a dog in their life and to get that dog itch out of your system, you really need a hug from a dog like Blue Belle. I have no problem at all sharing her sometimes. The woman told me to stop by her booth later on.

Here is a cool photo I made Blue Belle pose in front of this rat rod? That's what my husband called this car with an interesting background. These cars have kind of an unfinished look about them with out paint and most often with primer or just bare metal.

After a couple of shots with this cool car and the next car we saw. We walked back up to the woman's booth where she gave me lots of organic grapes, peaches, and prunes (oh boy!).

When I got home, I pulled out the juicer and juiced most of the grapes, some peaches and prunes. It was like a mixture to use with my miralax. The grape juice was very sweet and excellent. I know its a bore to hear of my constant struggles to go to the bathroom. In all reality I need to be on top of it all the time.

It's great to have so many good things in my life that can help me achieve this. Good kharma equals doing good things around me and it most certainly comes back in my case. It surprises me so much when it does and sometimes I am in shock.

After the full 12 hours of cooking, I turn off the crock pot and let it cool some, put on some rubber gloves and grabbed an old pair of pantyhose. I grabbed the tied bundles of weed and placed them in the pantyhose for draining out the butter. Finally after all the butter was drained, I poured the melted butter in a few containers and placed in the fridge.

Monday my husband had the day off and we had planned to drive to Santa Cruz since weather was incredibly beautiful. We all intentions of going, but instead we had a fun naked day together. (just being honest) It was still good quality time for the two of us. We relaxed the whole day together and I made some excellent cookies later that night with the special butter. Oh were they ever good! Mmmmmm Mmmmmm!

The one thing they do is make you constantly crave water. I drank one glass of water after then next! The last time I checked, craving water is a good thing. While they also give you a body high which basically means you have no pain, you feel a little more flexible (could easily do my yoga stretches), and of course you laugh a little more and you feel good!

I made them with Oatmeal, flax, psyllium husks, quinoa flour, and splenda and even Splenda Brown sugar. I had a couple that night and had some interesting dreams. Nothing bad or anything, just more vivid than some (more details).

I also spoke with my chemo doctor and he advised that I continue on the chemo. I went to the pharmacy, picked up the chemo on Wednesday night. I always have something to tell each time I bring Miss Blue Belle with me there. I try to sit next to a person who looks like they will benefit most with Blue Belle's presence. She drew a small croud of people 2 couples, a woman with her child and of course a very shy 8 year old looking boy who sat right next to me and just stared in wonder at Blue Belle. I told him he could go ahead and pet her and he immediate got on the ground at her level and just looked into her eyes as she smiled back at him with her ears back. She got up close to his face and did a few licks which surprised him but he lost it and completely melted for a little while.

A couple I sat next to, the woman asked me about Blue Belle's service vest and I explained to her that I am going through some cancer treatments and that Blue Belle is helping me cope. The woman agreed tremendously that this little girl could make me cope much better. The woman then told me that she was there to get her pain meds and that she was addicted to them. She had started Oxycontin(sp) about 8 years ago and had tried to get off but it was too hard. She suffers from great pain from I forgot what she had said but it was something to suffer from greatly (not like what I suffer from) but her doctor has to give her something for pain and its just easier I guess to keep her from having seizures and such if she stops this particular medication.

To me I find this incredibly scary to be addicted to something like that. For this, I am so thankful that I utilize a very mild natural substance for pain. It wouldn't be a great deal for me to just stop taking something for pain. Sometimes I suffer and sometimes I do not. I can go days and days without taking something and then all of sudden if I do suffer, I can at least make it instant fast pain relief without constipation.

Our Adventure in getting a dream puppy....

Just look at that face and tell me that she can't make you smile. She's very sensitive and sweet but what Shetland Sheepdog isn't? We got her exactly 2 years ago on the 6th of May just after learning that my cancer had returned. She certainly made my treatments much easier to take this second time around.

We named her Blue Belle being a Blue Merle and how her little ears just layed perfectly on top of her head just like 2 little bells, so how appropriate of a name for her.

She got along great with the cats from the start and respected that they were there first. We had read this about Shelties just prior to getting her anyway because we wanted our cats to not have their lives change all that much if we got a dog. We had researched several breeds thoroughly and as a child I had always dreamed of getting one. We went to the shelter several times but we were hesitant to get any of the dogs because most did not get along well with cats. The older cat we didn't want to add more stress and he didn't deserve stress having gone through all that he had with his Crystallitus(sp) condition. Normally we rescue pets but at the time we couldn't find any Shelties that needed rescuing, but this time we just felt, you only live once, so why not get your dream puppy? That's what she was to me; a dream come true; actually for both of us, she is. It made the cancer coming back not so bad at all. I hardly thought about it at all or even going through the treatments.

What an adventure she has been and she still is. I remember not being able to wait to get her. I had found her online and the picture of her is just what we had dreamed our dog would look like. My husband wanted a Blue Merle and I just wanted a Sheltie as I had all my life. I saved her picture on the screen saver so that my husband could see her. He immediately fell in love with her and told "Yes" call and lets get her.

We had to first wait a few weeks until she was old enough. The problem with the date was that we had to go to a concert just the week after she was old enough. The Concert had been elaborately planned months before and we were to meet some good friends that we hadn't seen in a while, it was expensive for the tickets, Madonna was playing and several other bands like Massive Attack, Depeche Mode, Tool, just to name a few. My husband and I had thought seriously of just blowing off the concert and getting the puppy early so that we could enjoy her. She was ready to go, but we had to plan around this stupid concert which we really didn't have much fun at anyway. It was the Coachella concert held near Palm Springs in Indio, CA. It took us 4 hours to drive just 1 mile in that the town was not wasn't ready to accomodate that many concert goers. It was when gas was approaching 3.39 per gallon and we were driving a rental gar which was a gas hog, a Dodge Magnum.

The bathrooms at the concert were terribly disgusting with ridiculously long lines for using just portopotties. I remember just standing in line in terrible pain and hearing women screaming as they walked into the hot portopotties without toilet paper or doilies.

It was about 103-105 degrees. Very, very hot! My bladder was suffering from the cancer returning and I had to go practically every half hour with the lines in access of 45 minutes. After I would finish waiting in line, I would have go back in line to wait to go again.

Because the concert was all ages, the beer garden was a good ways away from the concert stages and if you got a beer you had it to drink it before going into the concert. This was by far the worst concert the two of us had ever been to and we had been to plenty of concerts including several Lollapalooza concerts (mostly the early years 91-94), Rockfests, Ozzfests, and hundreds of bands, quite literally. There were a lot of the bands performing, but sound just wasn't set up correctly and it sounded muffled most of the time.

The concert was total misery and if we were to do it again, we would have blown off Coachella and just gotten our little fluff ball early and enjoyed her an extra 2 weeks. Blue Belle was 10 weeks old when we got her and those 2 extra weeks were blown because of a dumb concert that actually cost us 40,000 American Express Miles. Long story, big regrets.

We had walked out of that concert just as Madonna was entering the stage and even though we didn't get to see her I don't regret walking out early at all. I couldn't handle the bathroom situation anymore and we certainly didn't want to deal with all the traffic getting out of the concert if it had taken us 4 hours of getting there just to go 1 mile. We decided then that we were too old and disinterested in ever going to another concert like that. We went home thinking about waiting an extra week to get our little fluff ball puppy.

I worked the whole week thinking of her as the breeder updated us with pictures and how she took her to the vet and people kept stopping her to check out what a cute puppy she was. She couldn't walk 10 feet without people getting out of their cars just to check her out. She pranced so proudly on her leash.

It was so hard to concentrate on work when that Friday came around. Her flight was to arrive at 3 pm. I couldn't wait and everyone at work couldn't wait either. They saw the photos and were just as excited. When 3pm finally rolled around, I left to pick her up in cargo. She hadn't been taken off the plane just yet, so I went to the restroom. When I returned from the restroom I noticed a white pet carrier sitting on the counter and a few people crowded around it. I was so excited as I hurried over to get a glance at her. I looked in as her little ears were at attention on top her head, she was so tiny (about 2 lbs), and just a ball of beautiful fluff. I couldn't help but let out a "Awwwwww"; as I said it her head tilted to the right so much so that another "awwwwwww" came out and then she tilted her head to the left. She was too adorable not to open the crate and take out and just love on. She was so perfect and still is.

She has been the most amazing dog I could ever wish for and has brought me nothing but smiles, laughs, and healing for both me and my husband. She has it in her to be a therapy dog and we have taken her to visit a few people who have needed her healing touch. After getting diagnosed I had to take antidepressants but after getting her, I no longer need them. She cheers me up just fine, gets me out of the house, but can be quite a child magnet. I can take her anywhere around town and someone knows her or remembers her. They know her at the post office and especially the dog park or any of the pet stores around town I will usually hear someone else calling her name "Blue Belle!" or "Look it's Blue Belle!".

What's really cool about Blue Belle is her healing power. I know she has a healing power because I witnessed it on so many occasions; too many to count. She has made me feel healed in so many ways. I have walked her many times down the street and maybe seen someone looking quite depressed, walking with their head down, she can sense this and will walk out her way to put her ears back and get a sniff of that person walking by. She'll wag her tail as if she is trying her best to cheer this person up and usually a smile will result and so I have proved my point, she brings smiles with her everywhere she goes.












Here she is right after a bath sporting in a new bed at the pet store. The photo on the right is of her 4th best friend Tonto as the two go on a walk together. This is what we love about Shelties, they are loyal, peaceful dogs. Our kitties didn't have to alter their lives all the much. The older cat loves her and tries to sleep with her sometimes.