A 5th major abdominal surgery...

Finally a laptop that works inside a hospital so that I can finally update my blog properly. I couldn't see what the hell I was doing with the stupid iphone and the comment that posted didn't get posted.

So what really happened that Saturday evening when my husband drove me to the hospital? As we walked in the door I was crying in pain. There were 1 man and 2 women ahead of me and my husband was sure to to a hospital doorman that I was indeed an emergency case. He announced that I was a 6 year survivor and that have a serious radiation burn on a tumor on my stomach. I pulled it up for all to see. Both women walked over and hugged me and then another nice lady from behind the desk immediately brought me over to get me a room (my very own in emergency). I sat in emergency all night long and then was brought to my very own room upstairs around 8am. We were told by our doctor that the red hot fried tumor was instead a fistula which was about to burst (emergency surgery needed). The nurse had marked the area which was red. iphones don't tend to pick up those colors in certain light situations.

By 9:15am I was wheeled into emergency surgery and had been told of the consequences of having such a surgery but we had not choice. We were indeed frightened of me having to get a bag and all but in all I just wanted to live. I didn't care what kind of bag I got; I just wanted to live. We were wheeled into surgery and the rest was a success except the mistake of getting the epidural.

The doctor was able to cut out the whole fistula itself, and of course this was cancerous and had become entangled in my bowel; it took a whole team to work on me and to make this 1 and half surgery (what was initially thought) a successful 9 hour surgery. This surgery included resewing bowels, debulking several small and large tumors, and resectioning intestines; an even bigger surgery than my very first surgery. It was a tremendous success in that there was no need for any bags (puke or shit bags).

Fluoroscopy / Radiation Burns and more....

This hot tumor on my tummy now makes more sense. Since it has been feeling like a burn (sunburn or scalding burn) I put 2 and 2 together. I got lots of x-rays that day I was getting my fluoroscopy scan. Heavy, heavy lead is used to protect only my legs and of course the radiologist having to go into a totally different room to take the photo ("Breath in") What about protecting my boobs? Nothing I remember was even put on top of them? Yes, I am just thinking of this just now. Just my hips and legs protected?

I am just thinking of all this but the burn has gotten progressively worse as the week has wore on. I wonder about the poor tissue inside that may be burned? I don't care much about the tumor but what about my poor bowels? Here are a few articles I just researched on x-ray burns or fluoroscopy burns.

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/health_science/articles/2004/05/11/radiologists_warn_of_needless_x_ray_burns/

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/118784873/abstract

http://www.ajronline.org/cgi/content/full/177/1/21

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=2103107

Well back to this hot swollen spot. I have been icing it and it seems to help some but the burning is just unreal. It's also very swollen and looks as if I have an alien in my tummy. My temperature is normal and we didn't freak so bad with it being normal (thank God!)

My honey's family is here to visit and its so wonderful to see them again. I haven't traveled in a few years mostly because of my medicine and worries that the stress of flying might cause some problems in my intestines or being away from my dog. How stupid right? She calms me and it would be nice to have her with me calming me and all those around me with her cuteness.

Anyway its always great to hang with family and of course them seeing my tummy was a little uncomfortable and scary probably for them. My honey was convinced I needed to go to the emergency room and I just didn't feel like spending my evening waiting and waiting even in pain thirsty, hungry and knowing that I won't get to eat or drink for days. That's how I always think of the emergency room. So many things in life to do and to be stuck here. I cried a little in front of the family and assured my honey I felt OK and I just want to experience this tour and not be spending all night in the emergency room. Yes, my tummy looked exceptionally bad but I just wish to live on no matter what. Pot will make it OK for right now and it did.

Well anyway we went on our flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House at 11:59pm group 48!) last night. I had eaten a hash oil brownie (a piece of one)just prior to leaving in order to help me with the pain and to get me through this tour with out feeling as if my guts were going to fall out. Oh and did that work so great! We had a good time; it wasn't the hype but I can say I have done it (a midnight flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House!)

As you can tell from the photo of my badly burned tummy it appears to be going down some (using ice and aloe). We will see and till them more fun to be had!)

UPDATE: We are heading to ER tonight. My temperature is at 101.1 and we will be waiting and waiting and waiting for as long as it takes. Here's to another recovery!)

Fun at the Park...and update

To be honest I had been feeling a little weathered this week. I stayed home and continued my vacation on Tuesday, healing myself of a cold (and cleaning up our pig pen!); not sure where I got it (was it=cold: from my honey or at work?). I thought I was getting a sore throat like he had on Saturday; mine was on Monday morning but it seemed to clear up just a little bit or at least it started but never finished; I got into some coughing fits on Monday, Tuesday, and some on Wednesday which really did not help my tummy at all. There was a little coughing today but not as bad. I had way more energy!)

I dragged myself into work on Wednesday (had a Theraflu the evening prior) because damn it I need to get to stronger and yes I am a hard head. I wanted to have fun, see my friends, get some heathy food in my system and just show everyone that just because I am going through the rough bouts of cancer that darn it Life goes on despite.

My moto to life; do your best and don't be lazy. Things have to be done right the first time and I learned this from my honey. He teaches and proves to me everyday and I'm always so impressed with his work ethic. I could never get tired of his stories!

I'm also very excited the family will be here tomorrow and I'm glad that he and I can spend time with them; and most of all with each other. All the many reasons I love him! He makes my tummy feel so much better!)

My poor honey is worried about me and I'm convinced that things will get better. We held each other one night this week and we cried together. We comforted each other and it just felt amazing to have that kind of strength with me to fight! We just let it out! You have to cry sometimes to feel better.

Check out this encouraging news which I have not seen in the major news (I guess they prefer to only report the bad news); well here is some good news!

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/88262/Cancer-cure-is-step-closer


Clinical Trials are supposedly 3 years down the road! I'm not watching the news (only the selective good news) because I don't need any bad news right now.

UPDATE: My tummy knot is still red and has been burning up for about 2 days (how weird?); so I am using some ice packs on it and that has been working like a charm. I should have been doing this at work but I forgot because I was so busy. No hot tub for me right now! I'm also drinking aloe juice, plenty of green tea, vitamin shakes, cooked vegetables, and soups (only things I know that will be easier on my system to try to digest). I already know that my system takes a good long while to digest anything (learned that from the scan!) and I just had a very green detox drink for lunch yesterday because I felt that perhaps the pain in my tummy could be because I have a block. I have lost some weight and am currently weighing in at 123 with my clothes on.

Well that certainly got rid of that! I had such a huge blowout and it felt absolutely wonderful to relieve some pressure off of my abdomen! In fact it was one of those that makes you go awwwwww!) We all have those (a good nice shit!) It felt so good and to know that I may have a limited amount of time before that right is taken away (surgery=colostomy bag); so believe me I treasured this one.

These photos that follow are different angles of the tumor on my tummy. Yes it will go soon (surgery)! The cool thing I have noticed about it; is that it can keep any pair of my pants on. Yeah that's looking at things from the bright side!) At least it can keep my skinny ass pants up!)

I had so much energy today and just felt incredibly amazing; I couldn't believe it. I had a good day and I got lots done. Now I have tons of housework to continue. That's why I'm not updating as much and of course my class! Yes, I dragged myself into work on Wednesday because of that Medical Terminology class which will save my life one day. I need to know what's going on and I seem to learn more and more each week or at least understand more and more. My grades may not be so good and I may not catch up as well but at least I am getting a few things out of the class. Knowledge is power!)

I'm also trying my best not to lift any heavy things and sometimes I can't help it but I do shift whatever I happen to be carrying to the most comfortable position possible. Every time I do any amount of exercise; I try to imagine those cancer cells dying.

So what exercises am I doing with that funky tummy? Well mostly Yoga stretches (gentle ones: tree, doggie, baby, lying on the ground breathing) and these particular evenings (yes ever since Sunday!)of throwing the frisbee at the park for Blue Belle. I have been taking her each day since it's now light. She loves it and so do I! My frisbee dog!) We almost didn't go on Tuesday (sick) but the look in her eyes made me not resist. We just went for a little while.

Well this evening after I dropped my honey off to watch his beloved Sharks (they have been having a serious loosing streak and just broke it the other night) We got to watch that game together at home as he was healing himself of his cold. Meanwhile, Blue Belle and I went to a different park (Mary Jane Park).

We normally go over to this dog park behind an Osh Hardware Store, and sometimes to this elementary school after all the kids are out and we get to play in a huge field. I feel that since we pay our taxes we should be able to use this field just for a little while. I always clean up after her (curb my dog) and also walk around the field and pick up trash. Yeah I know that sounds a bit insane; but it's the least I can do. The field can be littered with kid's trash. As we drove by the school; there were tons of kids in that field so we drove on by and I stopped at this little Mary Jane Park. There is a playground full of children having a blast, the dogs there were very sweet and I was surprised not one ran over to take away Blue Belle's frisbees. This happens often at this other park.

At this Mary Jane Park is this nice little field with some hills where I threw the frisbee for her perfect each time and she even caught quite a few. I did notice a few watchers.

We were playing with about 3 of 5 frisbees. Then Blue Belle walked up to me and looked like "I want my favorite purple frisbee PLEASE" which flies so perfectly and far too!) Well it certainly flew far and since there was this fenced in area right next to us with a 9 ft fence and no visible entrance (yes the frisbee flew in and Miss Blue Belle was devastated). She's going to have to loose another good frisbee! We have lost a few in back yards every now and then and in fences like this. It takes her some time to get over a loss like that. I had noticed these cute little kids ( a little brother and sister playing with a kick ball close by). The father was very sweet and was impressed by Blue Belle's ability to jump up and catch those frisbees. He could tell we wanted that frisbee back and there was no way in hell I would drag myself over that fence to get her frisbee. No way; not with that sore tummy; NO WAY! NO WAY!!!

With that, this sweet family goes over to where the frisbee had gone over and he picked up his 6 year old son over the fence gently as he climbed over and ran to get Blue Belle's favorite frisbee. We walked over when we saw this and thanked them as the children lost them selves in Blue Belle's fur. The little girl was about 4. We chatted for a little about my dream dog and my husband's dream dog (he always wanted a frisbee dog) and he told me how he had never seen a dog do that before. He thought it was amazing! I was proud! I wished them a good evening and thanked them once again particularly that little boy. I told him Blue Belle thanks you for getting her favorite frisbee back. The little boy was shy, bless his heart.

I got home and I dealt with my hot burning tummy in the best way that I could. Now I can actually tolerate this pain (red abdomen) as the pain level is only about a 3-4 while at work; but when I get off work; that pain just has to stop. I used the ice and relaxed on the couch this evening.

I also found some great thin, thin, thin paper in which to roll joints for my pain and I was able to breath in without coughing. It helps me immensely (saving my life) with the pain, nausea, and making me thirsty. I refuse to do any at work, but in my evenings and in the comfort of my own home; I now have a right according to the state of California!) I drank a whole vitamin shake that had lots of calories and I feel completely satisfied. These shakes are much better than Ensures and don't have nearly the sugar (feeding the cancer).

UPCOMING: Tuesday at 7pm; Blue Belle takes her TDI (Therapy Dog International). I have found her Canine Good Citizen Certificate and her test which was requested. She is much better with the distractions since she was only a pup when she took the test (there was circle but a check under that portion of the test.

On Wednesday, I get the results of my scan, my oncologists will get to examine that hot bump on my tummy and we can also talk about our options; get the surgery, more chemo, what ever; I'm actually getting better and better about the whole colostomy bag situation. At least I will be alive and there is no price for that!)

I can still function with that contraption if others can. After my surgery; I will plan to take more time off work to heal from that surgery and to get plenty of practice and experience on how to clean and do what I have to do with that thing. I'm so thankful for my job being so understanding of my situation. I live for right now and to make each moment count; no bad news, no stress; just doing my best which is the best I can do! Lots to life to look forward to!)

No Snowboard Adventure for me....

Everything was set; doctor said it was OK, I had everything washed and ready to go and then my honey started getting a sore throat. Colds just happen to be going around so we didn't want to chance it. I took good care of him making him Chicken noodle soup and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, going to the grocery store for other items he needed, made him his TheraFlu and some tea for his sore throat. I did everything I could think of for someone I love so dearly. I have to take good care of my honey!)

Relatives will be arriving on Friday the 13th and our house still appears to be inhabited by pigs. We still have tons of cleaning to do and a snowboard adventure just wasn't realistic enough for us this weekend. It just would not have been responsible to go.

Oh I wanted to go and had even considered just a day trip by myself but the snow report doesn't look so good and there isn't any fresh snow or hasn't been for at least a couple of days which means most of the fresh snow is either tracked out or frozen. No ice for me! This would have been dangerous for me since I do prefer the fresh powder over the ice. The temperature these last couple of days has been warm; exceptionally warm; more like t-shirt weather. I had to take off my hoodie both Saturday and Sunday and today is a little bitter cold and windy. Not like yesterday or Saturday.

I did get to have a few enjoyable shopping trips with Miss Blue Belle as I picked out a whole new bathroom theme for our downstairs bathroom. We are retiring the old Sun and Moon Celestial Theme and in with the Bay Area themes. The downstairs bathroom now features a Pigeon Point theme with some light houses, beach, and seashell.

We have a Bay Meadows Photo to hang and have also been looking at tapestries; mainly Thomas Kincaid (I'm obsessed). He supposedly lives just a few miles from us in Los Gatos. Why not and his kids happen to go to the same school as a former car pool buddy of mine?

We already have a golden gate photo that I took a few years ago of the Golden Gate Bridge. I photoshopped it to the point that it looks like a painting and then picked out some matting and a frame. It's our home together and it's small but we love it!

Now to my health.

Well it has taken several days to get the barium out of my system. I've been going number 2 quite often and it's so incredibly weird to be shitting out white matter that looks like Soft Scrub with Chlorox Bleach. Sorry for the honesty but at least my system is still working!) It sure would be ultra cool if that Barium could clean my toilet like the Soft Scrub.

I plan to call my doctor tomorrow to find out when we can get together to discuss our next plan of action. My system has been making the loudest noises ever while trying to digest and I pray it keeps working. It kind of reminds me of a scary movie where the pipes keep making loud noises (like grinding up bodies or something). Yeah! That's exactly what my intestines are sounding like!) The gases built up can be scary in that the burps are still rather loud at night. I'm not passing gas as well and that usually takes work and it's painful on my abdomen to try to do. It's still quite sore in that spot (yeah it's still there).

If that's the case; why the hell did I want to go snowboarding in the first place? Because I'm one crazy cancer patient who just can't get enough fun!) I guess I would rather die having fun than to die sick in a hospital and my doctor knows this very well. With this disease it's best to cherish your good days as much as possible.

We had sushi last night and I didn't eat a whole lot but I did moww down on the ginger and the miso soup. I also ate some salmon and some California rolls. A cheap date I was.

Almost forgot: I did get to take Miss Blue Belle to the park to play some frisbee which was very fun. We even gathered a little crowd cheering at each frisbee she caught. These little kids and their parents were entertained more so that the usual of going to the park. Blue Belle got 4 Days in a row; getting exhausted at the park!) She's one happy pup who has 1 more fun days to go! Yes, I am still taking my Tuesday off! Lots to do and icky taxes!!!!!!

Something else to look forward to....

A dream of mine has been to get Miss Blue TDI (Therapy Dog International) certified. Yes, I went to this website and saw exactly where the tests were being given. Since there is one being given on the 17th of March. I was able to place the Date, Time, and location into my new iPhone. It's such a trusty little device that I am able to make plans and keep them right there. I won't have an excuse of missing an appointment ever again. This is the very first step to getting your wonderful pet certified to do therapy work. It has to be satisfying because I will be sure to write about all the following subsequent steps involved.

I had a wonderful conversation with Toni Hyland who will be meeting me at the Camden Community Center with my CGC (Canine Good Citizen) where she will go through the test and do everything else involved for the TDI Certification.

I told her to look out for Green Prius, my Obama bumper sticker when we meet her on the 17th of March. (OK that elimates lots of Green Priuses in San Jose and then my Shetland Sheep Dog sticker (that will help) or my Sheltie looking out the window for her and Blue Merle Sheltie at that. I briefly told her (like any proud mom) how Miss Blue Belle helps me so much to drive my Prius!. Some drivers hate bad Prius owners. I happen to be a very good Prius driver (very considerate of others)!

OK sometimes I can be a butthole, but I am worth being a butthole driver and I mean that in best possible sense! OK enough about being a butthole driver!) I also told her about how many drivers don't like Prius Drivers and how sometimes I will turn on my left blinker and how some drivers will just speed up and be like "Pius People are not allowed in front of me! I wish to inhale toxic fumes and not your fresh air!"

Well anyway, if they feel that way I usually try my next weapon of choice. I still need to turn left and they try blocking me and they want me to miss my turn. It somehow makes them very satisfied for someone to just miss an exit? I will open the the left back window and will tell Blue Belle "left window please". She will get up, look out the window at this aggressive driver who wish not be behind a fresh air Prius. Blue Belle will look them right in the eye with her very cute face and then they will automatically slow down on the brakes because the signal is very clear. I wish to turn left! Thank you Blue Belle! Same goes for the right!

Well anyway, once she gets her TDI, we would be qualified to visit together in many facilities to bring her in for patients. She would also be my very own certified and not just Doctor recommended.

So what began this? My husband had told me about a TDI certification that was held held a few days ago near his job. It just sparked something inside my brain. I must make a dream come true; to get Blue Belle certified. We all have them (dreams) and sometimes in life you have to jump at these opportunities and this is an opportunity to be helping others; even if I am only able to do this just a couple of times. We will see.

Every since I was a child (just like the Sheltie things); I had this vision of a rest home in the country where many seniors are unable to take care of themselves and hopefully loving souls are helping them and me bringing a pet and visiting with them. I could finally go visit a place such as that with what better than Miss Blue Belle.

I watch reactions and there you notice so much more. Dog people are not all bad; we at least know how to share. I always remember those who have helped me get by so many years not having a dog. I have lost myself pet a cute little puppy or just a beautiful dog in general. I will write about my experience here in hopes that I will inspire my readers to do something fun and for helping others in your own neighborhoods. I'm a sick person in medical terms but dog gone it I can still live my life and follow my own dreams while I am still around?


UPDATE: I had sent that cone tumor photo from my previous post to my oncologist. He sent me an email back for me to go snowboarding and to call his office when we return to go over the scan. So there! I get to have fun tomorrow and Monday! I have Tuesday off to recover and get a massage! Yes, I will get one!) I'm treating myself anyway and then cleaning the house some more! So yes, we are going boarding in South Lake Tahoe so me not posting a new post will mean I'm only out have a blast and later on I hope to add a video or something hillarious!

Here is a nice lovely conversation with a painfree cancer patient:
I did go to Starbucks this morning and made a mistake. I got the Grande Expresso Truffle. God that read out to be very fantastic. I bet it would be so yummy I thought! I had the munchies for something good! I should try that! You only live once right? Well wrong! That was a completely and totally a nauseating experience for me. It tasted exactly like a greasy, greasy donut?

Expresso (what the hell!( How do you come up with a big fat greasy donut for an Expresso and Truffle? I didn't know that truffles tasted like big fat greasy and totally too sweet donuts. What a horrible experience! Ewwww! I was hoping for so much more than that! I'm only telling others that the "Expresso Truffle Latte" is not at all a good experience if you happen to go to Starbucks. I only had a sip for that horrible price ($4.05). No I did not go back and stress myself and the workers out by demanding my money back. The poor girl took the time to make me the nasty thing. Oh well we all make mistakes and have to move on! It was amusing enough.


I didn't post any photos because for some reason my blog is very slow with all these photos (I may not be able to resist!) and videos to enjoy while here!)

The Big Scan....

Well this scan definitely did not take thousands of photos as I was told but it is called a Fluroscopy Scan and it basically takes photos of the digestive process. My process takes much longer than just 2 hours. To start with I had to consume 2 1/2 bottles of Cherry flavored barium stuff. They seemed half full compared to the usual banana flavored CAT scan barium solution. They also gave me a funky big straw as if I were wanting to have fun and pretend it was a Big Gulp!

I almost had to wear a gown but instead I wore my CAT scan pants (warm comfy pants with out any metal) and just a little t-shirt. It was so freaking cold but thank god I wore my sweat shirt and a jacket. I would go in and lie on a cold cold table with just my tiny little t-shirt. After 3 times (1/2 hour in between); I asked the nurse? (not sure what she is called nor did I think to ask!) if we could place a sheet over that extremely cold table and she obliged but little did I know I would need a bunch more photos/scans. In fact after the 3rd scan; and that was at 10:30 they really thought that the whole digestive process was over because it appeared that the solution was indeed going through my large intestine.

Oh! but no! It wasn't, I had to go to another x-ray machine thingy for about 3 more scans each 1/2 hour apart. Now these were exactly like an x-ray. I had to hold my breath while they shot 1 single image at a time. I think in all I must have taken about 12 shots or more (is that what they call them?) It sure seemed as if they were shooting photos; just 1 at a time. I was there until 2:30pm (8am -2:30pm); so 6 and half hours is still better than the 8-10 we thought it would be!

Now during all that time; I got to massively almost catch up on that Medical Terminology class. I was so seriously behind (2-3 chapters) I actually had fun with all that waiting. I had more than enough to do with all that free time. I was learning about all kinds of fascinating stuff and I did cry just a few times just worrying about that cone shaped thing on my tummy. I was mostly afraid that I might need some emergency surgery and I would have to have a colostomy bag. I know it's not the end of the world, but why can't I cry about that? Those little 30 minutes waiting in between each of the scans just wasn't enough for me.

I did pray to god when I was walking the halls trying to get the solution through my system that I don't die sooner and in hopes that my husband and I will get to grow old together. I hope he doesn't think that 40 is old because that is my next milestone I hope to make. June 2010! Then it's 45 and 5 years at time after that! They are all gifts!)

I did get to talk with a real doctor too who examined my funky little cone shaped thingy on my tummy. He felt it and asked me lie on my left side and even touched it (cone shaped what ever) with this bad minton paddle looking thing with this half ball looking thing. It almost looked like a bad mitten paddle; only it had a half ball looking rubber thingy on the paddle part.

I was lying underneath this scan thing or x-ray which had another huge off - white half ball under it (actually his was blue). The doctor then placed the heavy duty curtains (short heavy rubber ones) up as he peered through at my intestines (probably on a camera). There was no bowel in what he felt protruding out so it must be a tumor.

Now that cone shaped thingy on my abdomen (not sure what it is and more than likely it is a tumor); it isn't obstructing any shit (no pun intended) so we are not going to worry about it. It does still sort of feel like its burned and pinched but I'm OK to wear my girdle on Sunday and Monday when we go snowboarding! I have plenty of weed to get me by thanks to Good Kharma! That so helps me! Thank god!!!! I'm not going to get arrested either because it's legal for me! It should be for other patients as well especially if they too are facing GI problems and have that occasional "cancer pain".

Now at first, many of the radiologists were a bit concerned with that potruding thing coming out of my tummy and I'm so relieved that the head doctor spoke with my oncologist about this funky thing. They actually had a conversation together about the whole thing. Not worried about it!!!! Yeah!!!!!) We will be scheduled an appointment sometime next week to go over the results of this scan but for now I get to have lots of fun and I am not about to worry! We also have to clean up my piggy house for our family coming to visit!

A very brief update...

Since my last post I have been faced with some abdominal pain in the lower region (closer to my pelvis). There is a large lump just above my pelvic bone and I've been wearing my girdle to work mostly for protection and support. It almost feels as if I am having a hurnea if I do not wear support. Yes, scary shit; at least I have been shitting!)

Here are some photos of my tummy. The area where the gut is hanging over the pants feels very sore as if I have a horrible burn and bruise just inside there. It hurts to get up out of bed or in a seated position; but it's just a temporary pain and nothing a little joint can't solve at night. There is actually a knot there (where it looks like fat drooping over the top of my pants) as big as my fist.

I sure wish it was fat instead of the scary shit that it more than likely is. I can get through this and since I am going quite regularly and I farted a few times today (Whewwww hoooooooo!) This photo is not me sucking in or out; it's just the way that I am right now. That scary tumor thingy hanging over my pants is pretty scary but I do hope and pray I get through this.

OK the cool thing is (a girdle!), Yoga, a joint, relaxation, good conversations with good family, friends, relaxing mellow music, petting Blue Belle, Tonto, and loving my husband, and so much more to get me by this little rough patch. I still have enough energy to enjoy 2 full days snowboarding at Kirkwood! I'm excited just thinking about it and of course the girdle will stay. I must enjoy those good days as much as I can no matter what! Be spontaneous and fun!)

My honey took me out on a date this evening and we went to my favorite organic, healthy, inexpensive restaurant in Campbell (Aqui) for their Thursday Special "Blacken Mahi, Mahi with mango salsa, mashed sweet potatoes, and a cilantro cole slaw! Now I have to fast for my scan tomorrow!

I got through 4 days in a row at work; only sleeping 6 hours one night and up all night long pooping the other 3!) Yes, the insomnia is quite bad but with a little hope I can get some sleep tonight prior to the big scan!

The Next Snowboarding Adventure....

Well I'm working Monday - Thursday this week; with Friday being the day of the huge scan (do I need a shit bag or a puke bag?) I'm hoping and praying I need neither. I am hopeful for a miracle and that all of these vitamins will be the answer. The scan will be scary enough but I have a snowboarding adventure to think about but not that I won't be scared shitless of the results of this scan or how long will this scan actually take (2 hours or all day long)? Will I have time to wax my board, or clean up the house some more so that my visiting relatives don't think my husband and I live like pigs.


Kingsford Goes to the Beach

Hope you enjoyed the cute piggy video one of my carpool buddies sent me! Too cute not to include especially since my husband and I will be rushing to get our home cleaned in time for our family (brother, sister, niece, and mother= hubbies side) arriving from Wisconsin on Friday the 13th. We will be doing a Flashlight tour at midnight at the Winchester Mystery House that very night! We don't have much time to prepare and to plan our snowboard adventure; but I sure as hell need one!

I just started taking the vitamins just a couple of days a go because I got too impatient to wait to ask my doctor. Reason being is that I was mostly scared of the pain I have been feeling in my lower abdominal region and just took things into my hands. I'm just not ready for surgery just yet and things are starting to feel better although I have been having a few restless nights in a row (Sunday night and Monday night) of waking up every 20-30 minutes to go to the bathroom and waking up in a puddle of sweat. Yes, it all scares the shit out of me (really shit was coming out of me all night long = that's actually good news!) At least it was coming out; to be quite honest and I really have become more accepting of my funky body functions which are not so easy to understand; especially for me. In the meantime of experiencing them; I do try my best to not focus on them (because in all honesty it does scare the living shit out of me); I try breathing exercises, even denial of even having this disease, dreams, and hopes just to help me get by.

Some side effects I have been somewhat worried about lately is the heartburn (it hasn't gotten much worse) but there is the addition of more gas in my stomach. It's not painful gas but more or less heartburn pain. Sometimes I am able to pass gas (very rarely= I even strain to get out a little pathetic pooooof) but I do have to watch it or else it's a shart!) but most of the time I have been burping (man I have I been letting those go and loud they are!); especially at home. I've actually been having loads of fun burping at my honey, laughing as he tries unsuccessfully to out burp me! Yeah they are loud!

I don't usually burp as loud as possible at work - sometimes in the bathroom I might let one go if no one else is around; but most of the time I try to silently. These burps have been heavy duty (super loud) stinky burps which usually smell like something acid-y that I must have eaten previously (sometimes up to 2 days prior or more). This is worrisome and makes me almost loose faith that my intestines just might be failing as my doctor had been guessing. Could my doctor be right but I really do hope he is dead wrong. I still have faith, but the fear is really hard to shake.

Just to change the subject of the loud stinky burps

One cool thing I saw this morning on my way to work I saw a full rainbow that extended from the San Carlos hills over to my work (all the way over highway 101). It was magnificent and I made a wish that these vitamins will work; the power of the mind and prayers. I just need to get my immune system strong enough to kill those S.O.B. Cancer cells and for my intestines to heal on their own. One friend of mine suggested I get the Pacman application installed on my iPhone so that I could zone out and gobble up cancer cells. What a fantastic idea! Die cancer cells! Die!

Back to this Colorado storm that's happening; California is finally getting some much needed rain which also means that since this storm is originating from Colorado; the Sierra's will be getting lots of excellent powder for me to play in this weekend. Yes, we are planning another snowboard Adventure in which we will be leaving early, early Sunday morning for Kirkwood Mountain Resort in South lake Tahoe. I'm hoping to enjoy at least 2 - 3 days of fun powder! Well actually the energy level I have is amazing.

Every time we go snowboarding I feel absolutely wonderful for several days and the exercise and fresh air must make that cancer completely miserable. Serves it right too; because this weekend the S.O.B. better note that I have plenty more days in which to make it miserable. Get the F*&@# out of my body!

Life is so wonderful to be feeling so much pain sometimes (it's not all the time). I don't feel it now but sometimes I do and its so great to be able to do something about that pain. It's there still when I do something about the pain but at least I have this plant which enables me to also do other things to get my mind of of the pain. It's the reality of this disease which should have a cure.

Now for the political portion of my blog.

I'm very hopeful of this new administration and each day I am relieved when I read that he is doing something about the wrong that is going on (people loosing jobs, laws that or stipulations that were passed wrongly) and so much more. He is making right so many things that I believe in especially protecting animals and nature. People will finally be working and that's a good thing. See I only read the good news and if it's bad (TV=off),

Rich people and poor people all pay taxes and we should all be paying an equal share as far as income that we have to live off of and I'm so relieved that taxation will once again become fair. You have to work your share and pick up your own weight. That rich dude in the big house in Los Altos or Los Gatos will be paying the same percentage as my husband and I pay; finally. It costs money to have more money and that's life. I just want what I do and earn to not be wasted.

I'm OK paying a little more in taxes as long as my taxes go towards making my country better and helping others to get good jobs or health coverage. I do know how important health coverage is and there is nothing wrong with having it. My husband and I make no where near $250,000 together and we qualify for a cut in taxes which is a good thing but even if we had to cough up more; I'm all for bettering my country. I would rather have people working than not working and getting unemployment staying at home. His campaign was certainly run successfully and why could he not run our country with that much success? He is basing much of this budget on the New Deal that Roosevelt passed getting our ancestor's out of the Great Depression. I have faith and I intend to keep it!)

Healthcare reform is also in the works and so is stem cell which really gives me tons of hope. So much hope to look forward to and yes there are many who are praying for failure as sick as that is but mostly for their careers in that they hope America will fail. We do ultimately survive hard times; they just make you tougher and more resourceful. Here's to all of us working to make our Country great again! That's the hope I am talking about and all of us working together!)