Happy Birthday Miss Blue Belle!

Today Miss Blue Belle is officially 4 years old and it is raining like crazy outside.   Happy Birthday Miss Blue Belle!)  She is such a good girl and so patient with us as we got to sleep in to the sound of rain outside our window.  I love that sound; it kind of reminds me of getting everything all packed and ready to go to Tahoe; but definitely not this year.  My intestines and strength would not be able to take it.  I can't even take a trip to SF which is only about 45 minutes away.  

Blue Belle is kinda sad that she is cooped up inside and has to be towel dried when taken outside for pee pee or poo break.   Tonto somehow got himself inside this clothes hamper to relax and hide.  He cried to me and I had to grab the camera for this shot of him looking up at me as if to tell me "Look what I did!).

Well also this week; Blue Belle finally got all of her paperwork from Therapy Dog International including her tag, ID Card with gorgeous photo of her, a certificate and a bandanna.  All I need to do  now is to go to the hospital and complete my volunteer paperwork, get a TB test and of course show them all of Blue Belle's paperwork and we can then start volunteering.   I'm hoping that I will be able to do this and that I will have the energy to walk Blue Belle around the halls; I may have to be pushed in a wheel chair since I can't be on my feet for very long; (that's why I use my bicycle a lot to walk my dog).   My bike kind of acts like a wheel chair for me so that I don't have to stand and feel that horrible burning, pinching, cinging pain of my intestines feeling as if they are being stretched and pushed out of my ass.  

OMG does that hurt when that happens and most of the time it's my intestine relieving themselves.  (lots of pooping and needing to stay at least 5-10 seconds to bathroom!)   But life usually goes on and I get by!)  I also get the worst case of hiccups sometimes when those spasms occur and then the painful vomiting.  It burns quite a bit when it comes up.   Yes, that kind of  pain is so sucky and to have wouldn't you say?  Yes, it's embarrassing but I have to deal with it daily and my cannabis use really does help me quite a bit in dealing.   It is a blessing to have and to use!  I laugh a whole lot more and that is so important these days!  My kitty makes me laugh all the time!

Well back to that miracle plant, it is a God Send for me; I am so thankful for this plant in so many ways.  I don't feel I could live through this kind of pain and then to have relief in just smoking a joint; I feel I deserve that relief.    I'm so happy that finally this plant is just starting to become accepted in many states for other patients such as myself.  I love California just for that reason; we have a lot of compassion for people and I see so many people who are so giving to me and I'm very thankful to have so many around me for which I write about.  Their kindness inspires me in so many ways. 

Well, I'm also on lots of other types of pain medication because of all of these surgeries which I hope has not damaged my intestines for good (I really want to be able to go back to work; I  really miss everyone so much!( and I hope some of this pain isn't the cancer itself which it could very well be.  I just know in my heart that if I do have any ounce of energy it will be used to enjoy all the great things that I do treasure in my life.   
 

Well today we plan to enjoy the rest of this wonderful day and pamper our little girl since we can't do the play dates we wanted to with her friends.   I got wash my hair with this amazing shampoo!  Don't worry, I have my own brushes and Blue Belle has her own too!  Now we both have amazing hair that we can sport together!   Please don't worry about me and my pain; I am gaining weight slowly (I'm up to 115lbs!) Yeah!  I hope I can maintain it and with the heavy backpack and IV I weighed 121.5!  Wow!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!  Peace and Love to all of you! 

Needless Pain sufferered with relief provided....

I do have to warn you that this post may offend some, but it is honest, real, and heart felt. It might even seem politically charged, but these are my true feelings.

Being a cancer patient, I do know what kinds of pain is felt. Does anyone really know for sure what that pain really feels like and that they can make an unknown decision that a cancer patient deserves to be jailed or put in prison for trying to relieve themselves of pain?

OK, what exactly does the pain really feel like?
Well here is the real honest pain that I suffer and not to worry, I live in California where I hope and pray that I can continue to relieve myself of this pain in the most natural way possible; a way that for thousands of years my ancestors were able to relieve themselves too. There are several ways and in combining those ways, pain relief is possible.

You see, I have had 4 major abdominal surgeries and each time, my intestines were placed on an operating table 4 different times. The 1st surgery was the painful cancer debauking surgery in which several organs were removed and cancer was scraped off. 1 surgery was paritonitus and the other 2 were painful bowel blockages of my intestines.

Do the intestines ever get back to normal after going through something like that?
No they don't, but I am blessed with an herb that has no side effects such as constipation, stomach cramping, and pain that returns with a vengeance. OK, you can count laughing, a case of the munchies, incredible thirst for water, and relaxation as side effects that are not at all harmful. In fact, that thirst for water is what gets the system running again.

How exactly does it feel when that pain is occurring?
Well, at times, I have a pin like pressure in my intestines and sometimes it feels as if there are beetles eating me up inside. Have you ever walked into a forest and heard crunching sounds? Those sounds are beetles eating up the insides of the trees. It kind of feels like crunching inside and those are the less serious of the pains.
Now if my bowels get kinked or twisted, then the pains that I feel become more serious, more like spasms inside my intestines that feel like a crushing pain. Those types of pains will come and go and sometimes I am on the floor crying because the pain is so great. My husband and I have sometimes felt like filming me in this pain in order to prove this point and to show how effectively and quick we are to relieve this pain naturally.

Those types of pain almost feel as if my intestines are going to burst through my skin. At times I have even felt like that scene in aliens when the alien was bursting out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach. The scary truth of it all is that feeling happens every once in a while and it is rare when that does happen.

I'm a tough cookie and I won't ever give up and not to worry, I am able relieve myself of this pain nearly instantaneous whenever necessary. Thanks to the California voters who d for Proposition 215 back in November 1996. It doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. I feel that I don't deserve to suffer in pain like this which is why I utilize the natural medicine when necessary. I am a good person and god provided me with this miracle drug for a reason. My oncologist also supports my decision. It helps keep me out of the emergency room (most of the time) and I am able to enjoy a good quality of life.

What I am talking about is medicinal Cannabis for pain. I know the government is against using it and has even filled the Supreme Court with justices who have no idea about the pain and suffering of cancer, AIDS, and other patients who suffer needlessly. This drug was legal for thousands of years and only because of a newspaper company was propaganda utilized to make it illegal. It isn't a gateway drug at all. I don't feel like a criminal at all attempting to help others with cancer. I am just being honest about my experience with the drug or plant.

Ok, what about alternatives for pain? Well, I could use Vicodin, which on numerous occasions caused a temporary relief for the pain, 45 minutes to take effect, 30 minutes of pain relief, then the pain returned with a serious vengeance. We also have morphine which is what I am giving when hospitalized with a bowel blockage for which Vicodin eventually will cause me. In Canada they have a spray that is supposed to work well and I will utilize it when it becomes available here in the US. I tried the pill Marinol which didn't work at all for me. It did cause a tummy ache, but that's about it.

What's really disturbing is a country that can't work together and it seems that this administration has done just that. We all need to work together to find a cure and to help those affected by pain. I voted in the primaries in California for Obama, not because he is a black man, but because I felt his heart was in the right place. He has true compassion and understands what is like to suffer. Hillary is OK too even though she isn't as in touch with the rest of us. McCain is more than willing to jail patients and is mostly interested in continuing war instead of peace. Please do look up each of the candidates view on Medicinal Marijuana and vote with your heart.

Here is McCain Views on Medical Marijuana and he does state that he will continue to uphold the current laws against Marijuana and that it continue to arrest patients. To me, that is out of touch with reality and placing politics ahead of lives.



Here is Clinton's view:



Finally Obama even more convincing and of course hope for those suffering. He seems more of realist in approaching this subject and he is right. There are far more important threats to tackle than arresting people for smoking marijuana.



To find out more on this subject, I am also working on my other Blog "Sex and Cancer" in touching more detailed on this subject in answering much unanswered questions about Medicinal marijuana. It's very controversial and the government is so against its use and for no particular explained reason other than it is a gateway drug.? This other blog is by invitation only and it is currently under construction. I plan to get other writers involved with various levels of expertise. Please email me if interested at sexandcancer@shoppingkharma.com.
Because life does go on after and/or with cancer.