Almost out of the woods....

Well Friday I slept most of the day and was pretty much groggy all day long (probably from the sedation drugs during the surgery). When I awoke my pee hole hurt like hell and so did my back; so I had to take those dreaded Percocets (ick!). It did the purpose of alleviating the pain but I don't like the side effects of feeling like a kook (somewhat in shock from the pain), watching worthless TV and doing pretty much nothing at all. Yes, prescribed Pharmaceuticals can make you feel more lazy than smoking pot. However, they still have a purpose and we can all live peacefully together!)

I also hardly ate a thing that day; I did not have an appetite at all (tried to eat some pretzels and crackers and couldn't even stomach those). I just knew I would be dropping some more weight. I had just got my weight up to 118.5 before this surgery and was so proud of myself for that achievement. Clothes were finally starting to fit me and I could see a few curves, but still a few bones here and there (OK all over).

I just want to live my life, have fun, and do all the things I was meant to do but lately it seems all of these surgeries have really frustrated me but I know in my heart that I must keep fighting to get stronger. At times it seems I'm not getting any stronger at all and then there are days when I look at the scale and am so happy that I'm finally gaining some weight. It's been a while since I've been frustrated at the scale because I had been maintaining.

I sure was thankful to have hung out with my family last week, I will still have those hard days and then those great days. I deal with my pains in the best way that I can and just try my very best to keep on living. I have everything in the world to live for and its so worth fighting for. Oh, you already knew that about me, huh?

On Saturday (Friday sleeping all day, waking up, watching bad reality shows on painkillers) morning I awoke in a puddle of sweat, my sheets and pajamas was soaking wet. We had a few little home improvements completed that morning; now my beautiful floor is complete. My neighbor's daughter came over to see Blue Belle and we walked out back for a little game of ball. Then I had to go in to pee (been doing that a lot lately and it's not that painful = just burns a little!) I had also made my honey some breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, swept my beautiful floor, then mopped it, completed several loads of laundry and then it hit me; I was freezing to death. I shivered and chattered my teeth and I could barely get a full breath of air with out coughing. I had to sit down and cover myself up.

I had told my husband earlier to go have some fun with his buddies at his local pub because he has go back to work on Monday. I also failed to eat much too on this day. I didn't know what to eat; I had no idea what I could stomach or even wanted to eat. I tried to eat some soup (chicken & rice), that totally nauseated me, but the little bit of crackers and pretzels were all that I could stomach and I couldn't stomach much. I drank about a quarter of a Muscle Milk and couldn't eat any more after that. The diarrhea had started but thank god it didn't last long (don't think I had much in my system to get rid of!)

I then went upstairs to lie down and my head started hurting as if I were running a high fever. I went to look for the thermometer and checked my temperature. 102.3, I checked it over and over again and it just kept getting higher. I grabbed some small towels and soaked them in cold water; 1 was wrapped around my neck and the other on my forehead. I also ran downstairs for an iced cold glass of water and 2 Extra Strength Tylenols.

My husband returned early and found me upstairs with cold compresses and not looking so good. He did everything he could to wait on me hand and foot; he even walked across the street to get me some Thera-flu Night Time Relief? so that I could konk myself out and sleep through it. He also kept changing my compresses often and bringing me more ice cold glasses of water.

Yes, Saturday night was all about getting that fever down to normal and my honey and I finally did it. We were so relieved when the reading came up at 99.3 (It was 103. 4) and that we were not spending the night in the emergency room. I was so darned stubborn; just not ready to go there just yet (my face is finally clearing up from all those antibiotics).

Well most of the night I would wake up freezing from being soaking wet in my clothes then I had a small case of severe diarrhea (painful asshole!(, the whole 9 yards. I did sleep some and the coughing had subsided but the shortness of breath remained. I utilized my Vaporizer for the butthole pain (it worked!) and then I ran downstairs and drank 3 large glasses of iced water and then konked out. I awoke again in another puddle of sweat but the fever was gone. It was 98.4!) We were both stoked! The fever is gone finally!

Well, as the morning progressed; my honey and I slept in and at around 11:15 the severe chills started up again. My teeth were chattering and I couldn't get them to stop. I didn't have the strength to move so I just laid there while my honey went downstairs to get me some more Extra Strength Tylenol to hopefully keep the fever from going up. I felt like I was freezing to death only I wasn't. He had to keep going up and down the stairs and bringing more water. I took my temperature and it was up to 100.1 and I knew it was going to keep rising and rising it did. I remember my friend Nikki calling me to check to see how I was doing and at the time I had the thermometer in my mouth and it finally beeped. The reading nearly made me fall out of the bed - It was 104, and I kept checking it over and over and over again and same thing.

This could very well have been emergency room time but I still did not want to go. Screw that! My honey went to the bathroom and brought me some cold compresses and some ice and we started to bring it down some more. I took a Motrin (600mg) in hopes that this might help too. I I did go into the bathroom and weighed myself at 111. All that hard work; gone. Well I will just have to start all over again.

My friend Nikki came over later on with her boys and helped me make a fabulous Father's Day - Brats and Cheeseburgers on the grill (I still can't eat much, but I did eat corn on the cob, potato salad that sucked, and some more pretzels and some High Calorie Tiger's Milk? Well she also helped me get my fever back down to normal by making me shaved ice, plenty of cold compresses, making sure that I was comfortable on the couch, and bringing me refills of water when needed. I just needed to eat something and I just didn't know what to eat. Everything seemed so icky and nauseating that was in my refrigerator and the cupboard. I did drink lots of water and Emergencee Vitamin C packets to keep me from getting more sick.

I don't have a whole lot of energy yet to stand up and cook for too long (sometimes my peehole hurts and sometimes its my butthole!( and would rather just have my food ready as lazy as that sounds. Sometimes I have these laziness spells and will just have to work on trying to get stronger. My honey goes back to work tomorrow and I'm on my own healing. I can do this and I also will need to start chemo soon. I had tumors on top of my right rib cage before I started the chemo last time and they kinda sorta went away and now they just resurfaced. It's my duty to talk with my oncologist tomorrow and a nutritionist who can finally help me gain weight the right way!) So much to do in this lifetime!)

A Mystery Illness...

I had my chemo treatment of Avastin on Monday. Prior to my treatment, I was asked to sit in the waiting room for about 15 minutes. There was a woman in wheelchair who was moved sort of close to me. She looked pretty sick and was maybe about 5-6ft away from me.

When ever I get sick or get some sort of illness, I always try my best to remember how I got sick. Well anyway, Tuesday came and went and I had gone to work. I felt fine in the beginning and many had commented on how great I looked; in that I looked very healthy and refreshed. I went to lunch with a friend and then about 2pm I started getting a really bad head ache, I was literally freezing to death and started feeling really dizzy as if I had a fever. I did feel my forehead as it felt very hot to touch. I also felt really groggy and my abdomen ached as if I had done over 100 sit ups. I knew it wasn't anything that I had eaten because it wasn't that kind of pain . I also noticed I was getting a shortness of breath which kind of scared me.

I emailed my carpool friends to let them know that I was not feeling good. We finally were able to leave; just a little before 4 pm. Well I almost survived a full day at work. Once I got home, I put on some warm PJs and curled up in the down comforter.

I called my doctor and of course he was in surgery. The chemo nurse asked if I wanted to schedule an appointment with him on Friday at 1pm. Well the problem is it was Tuesday evening; so I just asked her kindly to have him call me tomorrow. We would try our best to deal with this temperature. I then called an advice nurse who had suggested that we immediately drive to the ER and of course being the hard head that I am; I was not about to give up. I already knew what my fate would be if we were to do that. We would wait in the emergency room for upwards of 10-18 hours or longer and then sit in the hospital for maybe a week. Yeah, we could always call 911, but no way. I was not down with going to ER, getting violated, stuck, probed, and so much more. Not worth it; I figured my husband and I are strong together and we can get through this.

I was still freezing and when my husband returned home he found the thermometer to find out what my temperature was. It shocked me that I was getting closer and closer to 104.5, then it got up to 105.1. I got really scared then. I had remembered my mother telling me that if the temperature got up to 106 that brain damage would then ensure. So then we stripped all the blankets and tried to get my temperature back down. I drank some iced water and I took some Motrin and then some Theraflu. Hopefully the temperature would come down. It was officially a waiting game.

After about an hour my temperature finally got down to 99.1. We were ecstatic and I ended up crashing early. I think it must have been the Theraflu. It was such a long night.

The temperature finally came back and I sweated so much that I soaked the bed. It kind of stank a little bit (weird?) My husband sometimes gets cold during the night and while my temperature was rising; he was at least able to keep warm even though I had soaked the sheets. My temperature finally went away around 3 pm and I felt much better but then around 5pm it started to rise again.

My alarm went off and I awoke briefly to take my temperature and to make a decision about work. Should I go in. Well I felt quite groggy but then I could tell that my head was quite warm just by touching it. It seemed to take forever for the darn thermometer to come up with a reading. It went past 99, then 100, 101, then it finally beeped at 102.3. Shucks! I thought.

I just wrote an email to my boss and then called my carpool buddies to let them know I wasn't coming in for work.

I took 2 Motrins and some Tylenol Cough syrup prior to going back to bed since I could not stop coughing. I wasn't really coughing up much, it was mostly the shortness of breath. I slept in most of the morning and just waited to hear from my doctor. Before I knew it, it was already 11:30am. My bed was soaking wet and my temperature was down to normal. I felt incredibly groggy as I changed those wet sheets and took a shower. I never called another advice nurse as I thought I might need to.

My doctor finally called later in the afternoon and wanted me to email him and if I had severe symptoms as I had last night to go to ER. Still hard headed am not heading there just yet. I'm starting to feel better.

For now, I will just get as much rest as possible, drink plenty of fluids, and try to get better. As far as replenishing my body after the huge night sweat, I have been using these Electrolyte Stamina which comes in individual packages and you mix it will a small glass of water; then I'm drinking lots of water or at least trying to. The vaporizer helps quite a bit with that. I still feel groggy; mostly from the cough medicine; the shortness of breath is gone, the chills are gone, so is temperature. On the road to a full recovery.