Election Day and Chemo Day....

My father had called me recently to let me know that he was pondering the idea of getting an airline ticket to visit us arriving Thursday, November 27th. I got an email with those exact dates and am quite excited to see him. He got me an amazing camera for my birthday which was a little late, but its my fault for that.

My sweet neighbor Nick offered his spare bedroom for any visitors in the time that I'm sick. He knew that I wouldn't be able to travel and perhaps family would need to come and visit and a nice bed and own bathroom with out having to fork over money for a hotel. It's great to have a neighbor like that who just seems like family. My neighbor Jan is also the same way. These are kind hearted people that are rare and genuine. See these are the good Kharma things that I like to write about; nice people who do good things for me and for others. I can never take nice things for granted. I cherish them so much that I write about them just remind myself and others that the world is not a bad place.

I have been trying a new thing lately with my book 1001 meditations.
The key to this book is to pick out 1 meditation every evening prior to going to sleep and try to focus on it when I get distressed or in pain. Last night's meditation practice worked for me even this morning. The meditation asked that I close my eyes and imagine that someone experienced is massaging my shoulders, take deep breaths and focus on areas that I would want to be massaged such as my shoulders, lower back, arms and anywhere that feels good to be massaged. How relaxing!

Well this morning we woke up bright and early (8am) to get ready to go to the hospital for my chemo treatment. The extent of getting ready for me was not even taking a shower but just putting on some clothes like a t-shirt and stretch paints. I then feed Blue Belle and Tonto and then took Blue Belle out for her potty walk.

Time flies and before you know it you are running late for the appointment. We got stuck in a little bit of traffic; probably from people voting.

I got to my chemo appointment about 15 minutes late and had to sit in the lobby for another 15 while they got my chemo station ready. I talked with another couple in the lobby because I had recognized them from having my chemo chair right across from them and then next them another time. It was just another great couple going through the sickness and in health issue of marriage. It was comforting to see how loving they were towards each other.

So many couples are not like this and I had seen just the day before, a regular couple in a BMW pulled up as I was getting coffee. They pulled into their parking spot rather fast, and all of a sudden the passenger side door opens and arguing and screaming at other. The man got out of the car forcibly and slammed the door as he called the woman who was driving a fucking bitch. His face was even bleading as if these people with violent with one another. It kind of scared me.

Anyway this other loving couple in the infusion center might have been just a few years younger than myself and my husband but definitely too young to be going through the hells of cancer.

It was finally my turn, so I went in and followed a thin blond haired woman who ended up being the one the best phlebotomist I have ever had. Now I did do my meditation which made it much easier to get my IV. This amazing phlebotomist was able to find a vein on the inside of my left arm. Now this hasn't been accomplished in several years, mostly because the Taxol and the Carbo have forever damaged my veins. She wasn't confident at first that she could even find a vein but she did. It wasn't even painful and she did in like 3 seconds. I'm definitely requesting her next time. I forgot her name and should have written it down for my next appointment but I know I won't forget her, that's for sure.

Here I am getting my chemo. You can see that my hair is thinning from the Etoposide but I still have hair! It's very thin, but its there! I'm not doing the Donald Trump comb over yet, its coming! I also have some hair on legs too! I didn't wear any make-up or even moisturizer! I look mighty ruff and tuff! Yes, I went out in public like this! I am sporting my Obama Sierra Club T-shirt!

The amazing phlebotomist kept coming back to check on me and to make sure that my Avastin was complete. It was only a 30 minute drip. Most of the other nurses I have had will usually forget about me and 1-2 hours later reappear. This nurse was way different and I was in and out in about an hour and 15 minutes. I had to wait in the lobby, then 1/2 hour wait for my Avastin, and then the half hour drip. She took off my IV in record time too! I wasn't expecting that. Wow! An angel indeed!

She wanted to know what time worked best for me for my next appointment and gave me a 10-10:30 appointment! 3 days before Thanksgiving. Wow! What an awesome nurse! Life is good!

My husband picked me up shortly after and we went to downtown Campbell for a wonderful lunch at AQUI. Just look at those Vegetarian Enchiladas with a pumpkin puree and balsamic vinegar!

It's going to be an exciting day but too bad I will be konked out for most of it from the chemo treatment. We got home around 2pm and I slept for next couple of hours and awoke shortly after 5pm.

I took Miss Blue Belle out for a brief walk in the beautiful rain and watched the President polls and votes come together on the road to 270. I was very hopeful throughout this exciting race.

I woke up in time from my short nap just before 8pm to witness a very beautiful moment in history. In fact I believe it was the most beautiful moment I have ever witnessed in history. Tears of joy and disbelief came streaming down my face. I was also experiencing a great bit of pain, but the pain was nothing compared to joy in my heart! My best friend called me a little choked up and we both were. I had tears still streaming down my face; those tears of happiness and joy!).

We have our first ever African American President and that's not all about him, it's not the fact that he is black, he is also educated, possessing strong leadership skills, and the patience to handle a major disaster. He will work everyone qualified to do so. I have so much trust and respect for this man and he truly inspires me. He really surprised me a lot when he would not fall for media attempts to slam John McCain on many issues or Sarah Palen. He played the game fair and clean and kept his cool as I saw it.

As I watched the news unfold, tears were streamed down my face and the emotions were high! I can't explain it, but its a wonderful feeling! I'm so inspired now and I know now that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything! Maybe I can beat this cancer?

I also witnessed a very wonderful speech given by John McCain. He was very gracious and accepting. His speech was very inspirational and it made me want to fight even more to enjoy what the future has to offer. I admire John McCain even more than I ever have as he spoke to a group of his supporters. It made me even more hopeful that we all can work together despite our differences. He said he is there if he is needed and it would be an honor to serve. I thought that said a lot. We can all do something for change in our country if we all work together. He is obviously moving on and that's what we should all do.

I see here and watch President (elect) Obama speak so inspirationally. I am definitely hopeful of this new future! The rest of the world has a new respect for us as a nation now! If you are stressed out and scared to death, chill and give this new Administration a chance; don't fret the future, just cherish the moments we are all given! It doesn't make things any better to stress out over them.

I gave the last Administration 2 chances and I certainly didn't stress out over the future; I just cherished each moment that I could with my husband and those who love me most! Be happy for what you have and to have right now is a true blessing! Enjoy it for what it really is, we are witnessing history no matter what!

To be quite honest, I have been suffering in lots of pain from another abdominal blockage. I will be working hard tonight to try and unblock it. Here is a video I just uploaded to document this experience and so that you have a small idea of what I commonly struggle through. This one isn't as bad as the emergency room incidents because I am not to point where I am screaming and crying. This is about a 7 on the pain scale and we call 911 when it hits 10. It's not pleasant but I can do it!




Part 2



Yes it will be one of those scary nights, but so much to keep fighting for! I'm still very, very, very happy! It's still been a wonderful night despite the pain I will endure throughout the night. I had to take an Ativan to calm the muscle spasms and a large glass of prune juice and water with MiraLax.

So tonight's meditation will be #252, "The heart of the spiral: Visualize yourself walking into a maze of massive stones. Step by step you feel yourself becoming lighter, more connected to the spirit. In the quiet axis you feel in touch with your intuition. Do not break your mediation by asking any specific question: just remain silent and still, in the knowledge that all the wisdom you need lies deep inside you."

Next Chemo Infusion....

Just had to post these gorgeous flowers that my lovely neighbor brought me just prior to me leaving to get my blood drawn. She got these flowers at the local farmer's market. God Bless Her!

Well here is the update. I just completed my first treatments (1 super infusion of Avastin on 8/12 + 14 pills = 2 weeks of Etoposide 8/11 - 8/24) Granted I did skip 3 days, but I took all of them! The Etoposide taken orally for 2 weeks, then 1 week off was the most difficult to deal with.

The Etoposide is supposed to cause hair loss and knocking on hard wood, I have noticed my hair thinning just a little bit. Not much, but my skin color is pretty pale.

I decided in order to prep for the hair loss and basically become more psyched is to not shave my legs, under arms or bikini line, eyebrows and even hair above my lips. So far, I am starting to look like a real bonafide hippy chick. My legs are getting darn pretty hairy and I don't know if my eye site is just bad, but I don't notice too much hair on my arm pits, just a little. My eyebrows are also allowed to grow into unibrow if they want to be! My husband really loves my big bush, so NO complaints from him just yet! So yes, the hair is still growing all over for right NOW!

My hair could fall out after the next cycle or any day now. I remember the first cycle of Carbo and Taxol that my hair fell out around the 19th day and it was right before Christmas.

Now here is a sad photo my husband took of me when my hair fell out the first time (12/02). I'm crying in this photo because it is a sad day on the reality of cancer. You can see just how dead my hair is as it had come out in handfuls. It wasn't the end of the world, but it did add more insult to injury.

Another serious side effect with the Etoposide is very painful abdominal cramping most because the pill goes into my stomach where it has to sit there while my body tried to figure out what to do with it. The pill is very corrosive so sometimes I have this really bad metal taste in my mouth. Then I feel like I have razor blades in my stomach as my intestines try very hard to move those razor blades through my intestines. Of course pot helps me get rid of this pain, so no worries there. Problem, solution! That makes me happy. I also laugh at myself as I do stupid things throughout the house. In all I didn't do anything dangerous to myself or others except drink my nasty PediaSure!

Every evening no matter what, I still get an abdominal blockage for which we have to handle in the most natural way possible or I could end up in the emergency room getting my stomach pumped (ng tube). We have to avoid it in the best way we know how. It's extremely painful to experience and I can still hear loud noises in my intestines. I plan to record those sounds once I get a stethoscope so that you too can witness those sounds. (I don't have one yet!)

BLOOD TEST TODAY

In order to prep myself for my next infusion (Tuesday, September 2nd 12:15pm), I had to go and get a blood test. Blue Belle came with me and wore her official working vest. She was a good girl the whole time and just sat by my side watching everything. I even got a photo of her being patient and walking by my side and then of me getting a blood sample. Of course all of the Flabatomists(sp), had to come over and get a better look and a handful just dug into the soft pretty fur. She smiled gently at each of them but just continued to watch me as my blood was drawn.


Not that this is a terribly interesting photo, it did help ease some fears of getting my vein stuck with a needle.

I can't wait to get a real camera and that will be when every Ritz Camera decides to send me my back ordered Nikon D80. Once I do get that camera, there will be much better quality photos in each of my posts. Too bad I only have this crappy Canon S500. Some photos appear pink at times and I can't for the life of me figure out how to fix that. No more worries about crappy cameras. More later!