Tubes removed!)

Yes, you read it right; my tubes have been removed. Well I wrote an email to my doctor this morning letting him know that the JP was not leaking anything and it appeared that it was working it's way out and the little stitches had begun pinching my body. I got a phone call within a few hours instructing me to arrive at his office at 1:30pm this afternoon. My honey had gone to work today and my best friend was there taking care of me so we went for lunch and then to the doctor's office to remove the tubes.

She dropped me off at the hospital so that she could go and pick up her kids while my honey drove from work to be there for this special doctor's appointment and to be there for me for which he was. I was so thankful when we walked up and sat next to me in the waiting room.

What a trippy experience that was getting those tubes removed. The feeling was a hard pinch for each removal. It wasn't at all pleasant. The lunch; bad idea but how was I to know? I didn't actually think of the consequences of having lunch just prior to have a JP removed that was attached to my stomach and then a Gastric tube that was also attached to my stomach. So during the surgery, my stomach was actually known to my stomach wall to prevent removal of the JP and Gastric tube which would have caused the stomach to fall back into the body and a hole resulting which could have been deadly but was not. Now, as my doctor was removing the gastric tube he quickly asked me if I had eaten just prior and I say "yes". Well with that just a few seconds after he had removed the gastric tube; a volcano spew came out of my tummy from hole where the gastric tube once was.

I lay there stressed over all the spewage coming out of my hole. We held tight for just a few minutes as I tried so hard not to laugh. My honey does that to me sometimes and I had to tell him to please be quiet. Imagine being married to such a jokester sometimes in these situations. He held my hand through out the whole removal process and even during this spewage situation. The doctor had me hold the hole as best I could as he tried to find some more dressing in order to stop this serious leak. He told me in few hours around after 6pm I could try to eat again but that this leaking would happen for about 3-4 hours until the hole would close up. I have to keep this dressing on until tomorrow and I can take a shower without any tubes!) I am free to heal and no more tugging or pulling from those stupid tubes for they have been removed.

I sat motionless as possible on the couch for those 4 hours flipping through stations and trying to nap. It sure was stressful trying to find a position where I wouldn't leak and I was afraid of leaking on our somewhat new couch. All good now at least I hope!) I don't feel leakage but I do have an appetite to eat. I will wait for a little while longer just to make sure!)

Home sweet home!

Well I made it through my last night having to take a sleeping pill because of all the anxiety of wanting to come home. There is no way I was sleeping on my own. I talked on phone past midnight with my honey as we often do.

No fevers, no elevation in white counts but I still have to take care of that JP Tube and the GI tube which makes that swish noise when ever I happen to get up. I got the Pick line pulled out which is a line that I had to use for intravenous feeding and much, much more. Even blood draws, it had quit working earlier but started again mysteriously just yesterday. It was a miracle! Espy a very good nurse had made it work again. I had so many great nurses to thank for my recovery; Rosa, Sylvia, Adonis, Oliver, Avita, June, and so many others I can't remember all of their names. They loved me and I love them!)

I now walking around my own home with a cane because my tummy is still so very sore from having all of those staples taken out and from having these tubes hanging of me; the stitches do pull on my skin quite a bit. It's pretty trippy.

I'm so very happy to finally be at home and my pets can't even believe I am finally back home after 2 weeks and 2 and half days! I got to eat Sushi (take out) Yes, I can eat what ever I like but I will keep simple and sweet. Miso soup galore and simple rice with seaweed, salmon, and some tuna. YUM!!!! My eyes were so much bigger than my tiny little tummy. I couldn't even eat half of what I had ordered; just a few pieces but all of the miso soup. For dinner, I just made myself a simple protein shake with plenty of calories to hopefully put some meat on bones.

My honey went to watch another hockey game and so deserved it. He helped me in so many ways; cleaned the house, did laundry, cleaned my kitchen, vacuumed, and waited on me hand and foot. I'm hobbling around with a cane and having a hard time with these tubes. They are very painful and hard to take to take care of so far.

My bottom is finally working. Passing gas and pooing is a gem! I just can't get over that my body is finally working. I'm so happy I didn't have to get a bag and we were able to save my intestine. It's fixed for now; I just have to have to watch my tummy very carefully. There is a bump right at my belly button that we are watching.

Now the recovery and I'm so happy to finally sleep in my own bed!) Thanks so much for all the prayers and good thoughts! It's working and I got to go home and still can't believe it. Neither can my pets. Tonto has been following me around everywhere. I go upstairs, he's right there. So is Blue Belle; they are both watching over me.

UPDATE: I almost forgot, I downloaded my photos from my D80 and they are now posted with a little description of each dog in the post labeled "More Pet Therapy For me Please". Hope you enjoy!

Not another night!(

Well, I am one step closer to going home. Just to warn you I do some very graphic photos which will continue to label this blog as Adult and only caring eyes shall see. I am posting these graphics in hopes that you will look within yourself and be thankful for what you do have.

Please don't me wrong, I'm still so very grateful to bealive, to be able walk around; even though I haven't left this place; I'm still, very, very grateful.

I have a very hot husband who I am so honored to be a part of his life and to be married to him. It's doesn't seem like 6 and half years yet for we still feel like newlyweds.

This photo here is of my stomach with the staples. See the staples are due to come out later on today and I hope to get a photo of them taking them out as well. Should be very interesting indeed. Now these little JP tubes thinky's - only 1 of 2 will be coming out today along with the staples and I'm kinda bummed that it doesn't come out and I may have to deal with it at home. You can actually see the hole where the other 3rd JP once was was. Pretty eerie huh?

This particular JP will get to come out today even though there is some fluids still coming; this clear fluid is OK. The other one we are worried that this lymph fluid which is kind of milky is coming out of the other one and we have to watch it carefly.

These JP things so got on my nerves in the worst way. I miss my underwear so much and having to wear these stupid gowns. I have to tape them shut to go out for a walk. I forgot last night to take the tape off and all of a sudden I felt a horrid pinch on my pubes and dog gone it I have a JP just situtated right there on it and then a piece of tape just stuch there on my pubes and JP tube. How freaking annoying is that? I go to reach to pull that stupid JP on my crotch and it is taped there. It's like god played a trick on me! I had to carefully pull the tape out and it was mangled in my crotch /pubes and on the stupid (one that's staying). I can laugh about this now but at the moment it seriously pissed me off. I hope you are too!)

Anyway tomorrow is my new tenative date for going home; sleeping in my own bed, finally seeing Tonto who I hear really, really, really misses me. He's been crying himself to sleep at night and really cries when my honey is on the phone with me!) So lots of prayers that I get better and hopefully go home tomorrow! Hopefully just this last night in this aweful hospital bed!)

The Head Aches of an Epidural....

I was introduced to it like it was ice cream and the old way PCA (Patient Control Analgesia) was so outdated and barely worked as well. The Epidural worked OK the first day but by the second day I got the worst back pain ever on my left side; almost paralyzing and it even took my breath away. I couldn't breath and it was excellent that I was on oxygen.

The day after my surgery went went well except for one thing that could have offered cause for the amount of pain that I had been receiving all week. During the day there were several very, very busy nurses and at lunchtime it had appeared that all had gone to lunch at the very same time. I couldn't move around as much as I wanted to because of these 38 new staples and of course all these tubes sticking out of me and pinching me if they happened to not be controlled. One nurse had come in to check my vitals and had placed me in the chair next to my bed as she changed my bedding. She went into the bathroom to get something and then walked out of the room and told me that she would be right back back.

I was still very drugged up from to surgery and everything but needed some help to get back to my bed. I had this table that I wanted to move to the other side of my bed and I could not approach my bed from the side that I was on because of all wires sticking out of feet and in all I was tangled up. I pushed the nurse button and announced that I needed some help to get to get back to my bed and that there were too many wires in the way. I waited another 10 minutes and had even struggled trying to push the heavy table out of the way so that I could get back into bed. I push the nurses button again and this time I could barely reach it for being tangled and getting that table much further but it was stuck. I told the call nurse to please send someone to help me and she told me that she would. I was indeed very tired and just wished to lie down in my bed. I struggled to hold myself up until the nurse arrived for another 5 minutes or so and finally I awoke with my husband over me scared to death. I must have passed out or fainted because I had ripped the IV clear off my arm. My honey was very pissed and I was very disappointed that my calls for help were simply ignored. My honey feels I could have hurt myself this way instead of the Epidural.

On Tuesday night just after shift change 11pm, that intense back pain returned with out any vengeance for me at all; I cried agonizingly and could not get my breath. It took about 15 minutes of misery to finally get some pain relief. I looked into the eyes of each of those nurses and begged them to please watch the time; particularly at night (it was every 2 hours for the morphine) to be on top of it and to bring me pain medication and not wait until this to happen; to be awakened in extreme pain. Another serious problem I have been having is passing gas and in all my other surgeries; it would always takes sometimes up to a week to pass gas and it's worrisome for me most of the time after a surgery. I almost feel as if my butthole just completely closes because nothing comes out until after that first enema (which is usually days and days later)

One nurse really took to heart what I had said to her for she was on it with my pain meds; I didn't have to worry a bit about this happening again. She even worked on Wednesday night of which my honey spent the night (he spent several nights when he could) and I superbly impressed with her abilities. She really took it serious watching over me which is what a nurse is all about; caring and nurturing for patients.

On Thursday the epidural pain just got worse and I wanted it out in the worst way; also there was appearing to be a waste colored residue coming out of one of my 3 JPs; it was even filling up faster than than the other two. My doctor immediately started me on some more antibiotics and warned me of the possibility of another surgery.

On Thursday night after the night shift shift change I was disappointed that my dedicated nurse was not working. Instead another woman of Chinese descent, very short, with shoulder length unkempt hair; (she looked as if she had just gotten up out of bed and just arrived) her hair was not at all brushed and didn't really look much cleaner than mine (mine had last been washed on Friday) and her skin was very, very oily. I usually like to pay attention to how others pay attention or take pride in themselves and it even shows a respect for others. Maybe not all of us feel this way but while I am in the hospital it seems to just go out the window.

This particular nurse was very quiet spoken and mostly just did what she needed to get by or at least that's how I viewed her. She was kind of rough an inhumane while checking my vitals. For me, I take nurses very seriously. I depend on their care for me and I really do appreciate it; I want to me more than just a medical record number. Anyone who is there to take care of the sick inspires me and I love it if they are there to take care of me when I need it most and I needed it most.

My best friend Nikki had even arrived late in the evening to take care of me and to give my honey a much needed break. . Right when I started to feel pain I asked for relief just to see who would be in charge of handling the relief. This disheveled nurse had arrived at 12pm to give me my 2 hour dose of morphine. She also checked my vitals and also farted all over my room and it was so incredibly stinky and nauseating. I asked "did you just fart in my room?" I asked her point blank because I knew I was completely blocked still (and still am) and of course she denied it and said no. My friend Nikki denied it too and I just let the blame lay on me because the poor girl was already embarrassed.

I finally got to sleep at 1am and by 2:30am I was paralyzed in the worst pain I have ever experienced. Just when I think I have experienced the worst pain; pain can get worse? I couldn't breath and this was indeed a 12 going on 13. I cried and hyperventilated as I called for help. My friend Nikki held my hand and stayed with me until the slob nurse and another nice nurse arrived to help me. I kept thinking "why isn't this other nurse my nurse?". She was very comforting and the slob nurse had arrived with food all over face to give me my medicine. I asked her why she wasn't better prepared and fumbled that all patients must request medicine and I told her that I already did when I told her I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night like this feeling as if I were about to die. She then told me not to tell her how to do her job; being a little shocked at her response I told her "I'm asking that you please do your job better". I knew then I didn't want her to be my nurse ever and even told the head nurse the next morning to please not let her be my nurse again.

I didn't let it get to me; her immaturity but I hope she grows more as a person and doesn't treat another patient as she had treated me. Some people are lazy in life and they just let it go by them; and you really have to cease moments and grow from them. Don't fight criticism; learn and grow from it. I feel stronger every time I survive what seems impossible. Sure I still got some laughs over her stinking up my room and then blaming me but I couldn't help but tell my mom and family about this.

I thought this was a very interesting photo when I first took it and yes, I will be torturing many of you with disturbing images such as this. Another reason this is an adult only blog. It will be very interesting to see what my belly button will look like once this is all healing.



Today we did get to remove that stupid epidural and it feels so much better to be able to just push a button when I feel pain coming on. As of now, I am still blocked from all of these painkillers and am still unable to pass gas. I got to do an enema and that felt so great to release some of that pressure; I also got a blood transfusion and we are currently watching one of the other JP tubes or contraptions because bowel mixture seemed to be coming out. It's still a time bomb but I'm doing my best and following doctor's orders in hopes I won't need another surgery. More waiting and almost seeming like walking on Pins and needles. I still have hope despite all this and most of all I more prayers are needed!)